


Runaways

by Teardropfires



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Seizures, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:38:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 51,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2854451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teardropfires/pseuds/Teardropfires
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hi. Um, my name is Derek Hale and I’m here because my ex-girlfriend killed my parents and almost killed my little sister in a house fire. I had a basketball scholarship to Cal State, but I came here instead, to Bar Harbor Maine because it was literally the farthest school that accepted me. So here I am running away from the remainder of my family, who hates me… by the way. I am here to escape my guilt. And I pretty much hate everything about everything. Thanks.”</p>
<p>Derek does not say this when the campus tour guide asks him his name and what brings him to Bar Harbor, but it’s a close call.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So umm a couple of notes on this. 
> 
> Kate and Allison are cousins instead of aunt and niece. Derek is only a year older than Scott and Stiles. They're only mentioned once in this chapter, but this info will be useful later (probably). 
> 
> I should also note that I have never been to Bar Harbor, or Maine actually, so any information written about it is completely fictionalized or researched on The Google (so blame the google!). I also mention seizures in this fic. I've only seen one person have a seizure IRL and it was a very long time ago. I did some research, but please, if something seems weird or reads offensive please let me know so I can be mindful of the subject for future projects.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

_“Hi. Um, my name is Derek Hale and I’m here because my ex-girlfriend killed my parents and almost killed my little sister in a house fire. I had a basketball scholarship to Cal State, but I came here instead, to Bar Harbor Maine because it was literally the farthest school that accepted me. So here I am running away from the remainder of my family, who hates me… by the way. I am here to escape my guilt. And I pretty much hate everything about everything. Thanks.”_

Derek does not say this when the campus tour guide asks him his name and what brings him to Bar Harbor, but it’s a close call.

Instead he sighs and shrugs. “I’m Derek Hale and I got accepted into the Christensen program for Marine Biology.”

The tour guide looks at Derek expectantly, blond and bright eyed, like he wants him to add more. Derek just stares at him.

“Alright then,” the chipper guide says after an awkward pause. “Moving on. Welcome to Bar Harbor everyone!” He exclaims suddenly, causing Derek to jump a little bit. “But more importantly welcome to College of the Atlantic!”

 “If you walk this way with me we’ll be able to meet up with the rest of the student’s doing campus tours and if we hurry we can catch the Bar Island Swim!”

Derek only half listens to others ramblings. He hears him talk about the national park near by, and the history of the school.

Derek can’t keep the scowl off his face when he realizes that the school has fewer than 400 people enrolled. That’s smaller than his graduating class.

The tour guides overenthusiastic musings about the campus, and the chill in the air that Derek is not quite use to for this time of year, makes the hour it takes to walk the campus feel much longer.

The guide is just about to take them to the campus pier when a tall black man with a shaved head and friendly smile walks towards the group.

“Ah, professor Deaton,” The guide says excitedly.

Derek peaks up at that, Alan Deaton is supposed to be his supervisor.

“Yes hello Chandler,” He says politely.  “Is Derek Hale with you?”

“Mr. Deaton?” Derek says and lifts his hand. He starts to step away from the group.

“Ah yes, but just Alan or Deaton will work fine,” Deaton says and shakes Derek’s outreached hand. “Mr. Hale I can’t say how happy the college is to have you here with us. The faculty was blown away by your research. And so young!”

Derek smiles awkwardly and shakes his head. “Please just call me Derek, and… I’m um… excited to be here.”

Deaton gives Derek a look that says he didn’t quite buy that but he nods. ”Let me show you the lab and your housing.”

“Sure—“

“Oh Prof, I’m sure you’re excited to show your young protégé the ropes of the lab, but we’re almost done with the tour, I’d be happy to escort him to the lab afterwards.”

“Oh no that’s okay,” Derek says in a rush, “I mean I have a map so I’m sure I can figure it out.” Derek bites back his remark about how hard could it be to navigate a campus that holds less than 1000 people.

“Yes Chandler I can take care of Mr. Hale from here,” He says and waves the rest of the group towards the direction of the pier.

“You got it, Captain,” Chandler says with a small salute.

Deaton offers Chandler a tight smile and then puts a hand on Derek’s shoulder to guide him away.

Deaton takes Derek through the lab and shows him all the equipment and introduces him to a few of the staff members.

Derek gets housing in the Peach House, that is, despite its name, not actually peach. It’s a tiny cabin like house that looks like its seconds away from caving in.

“I know it’s not much,” Deaton says as he leads the pathway down to the house. “But it’s cozy, I promise.”

“It’s a stick house,” Derek grumbles as he stands there in the doorway but when Deaton turns to look at him and plasters the most believable smile he can muster. “It’s great.

Apparently he wasn’t believable enough because Deaton just smile and gestures for him to come further inside.

 “There really wasn’t much we could do after such short notice, unfortunately,” Deaton says and hands him the key.

 Derek hears a snort from behind him and he turns to see a pretty black girl holding back a smile. Derek let’s his eyes soak in her features; a dark curtain of black hair falls over her shoulder, it’s the only bit of hair visible under a thick blue beanie.

“Ah, this is one of your roommates,” Deaton says, offering her a polite smile. “ I was just about to show Derek off the amenities of the house.”

The girl smirks and bites down on her lip for a brief second before she quirks an eyebrow and says. “Were you?”

Deaton smiles again and glances at Derek. “Derek here is one of our new recruits over at the Christensen Lab.”

“A frosh?” The girl says in faux surprise.

“A protégé,” Deaton corrects and pats Derek on the shoulder. He’s really sick of people calling him that. “It looks like your roommate here can show you the rest of the way Derek. Unless you have any other questions…” He waits for Derek to shake his head and then continues. “I will meet you at the Christensen Lab tomorrow at 10am to go over your work study and class schedule. Call me if you need anything. “

Deaton gives him an encouraging smile and then pats his shoulder as he leaves.

There’s a somewhat awkward silence that settles in the room when Deaton shuts the door behind him. Derek looks from the girl to around the tiny hallway; back to the girl, to his bags next him, back to the girl. He sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “So…”   

She smirks as he frowns and then jerks her head towards a hallway. “Follow me.”

She points to a spacious seating area to her left as they pass it. “Common Area …and down the hall on the other side is our badass kitchen. That’s about as ‘cozy’ as it gets.”

She continues to walk down the hall leading to a set of stairs. “That’s Ethan’s and Aiden’s room,” She says and points to the room to her left.  “Downstairs bathroom,” She says and then points to the opposite side. “Erica and Meredith’s room.”

She starts to climb the stairs and Derek follows after her. On the second floor he feels like he has to duck a bit to avoid hitting his head, but the girl in front of him is walking with practiced ease.

“How long has everyone else been here?” He asks.

“About a week… second bathroom,” She points out.  “Isaac came about four days ago. This is his and Boyd’s room,” She says and points to a closed door to his right.

“And finally my room. “ She says and opens a door at the end of the hall. Derek follows and hovers in the doorway.

“Okay… “He says and then frowns. “So where is my room?”

The girl rolls her eyes like it’s a stupid question and then points to a bed in the corner of the room.

“I guess I should have said and this was my room as of a week ago until they plopped you in here.”

Derek stares blankly at her. “But you’re a girl.”

The girl’s eyes rise up in surprise, “What gave it away, Mr. Protégé?”

Derek ignores her and goes to put his bag on his bed. He offers her a small “whatever… thanks,” before he sets to start unpacking his bag.

He can hear her sigh behind him.

“I think housing might have thought they were rooming you with a boy. I guess it might be hard to tell with a name like Braeden if you’re not looking at the paperwork close enough,” There is a slight pause before she adds. “I’m sure one of the other guys will switch if you’re uncomfortable.”

 “No,” Derek says quickly. He turns away from his bag and finds her looking down at her hands. “It’s fine.”

There’s a tense silence as Braeden fiddles with the end of her scarf that falls into her lap and Derek tries to look anywhere else but at her.

“Let’s try this again, I’m Derek,” He says finally.

Braeden offers him a small smile and then stands to leave the room. “Welcome to Peach, Protégé.”

Derek scowls at her retreating form.

“It’s Derek,” he grumbles and turns back to his bags in front of him. He thinks he hears a small laugh at the end of the hallway.

+

Derek is almost done with his bags when he turns to see someone staring at him from the doorway.

“Ah what the hell!” He screams and flinches back. In his haste, he steps into his empty bag resting on the floor and falls backwards as his feet get tangled in the straps.

He hits the floor with a loud thud and narrowly misses knocking his head against the desk next to his bed.

Derek groans as he tries to assess the damage. Apart from a bruise to his ass and his pride, everything seems to be okay.

Derek closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them, he screams again because the person from the doorway is now standing over him, looking at him quizzically.

“What the hell!” He yells again.

“Why do you scream so much,” She asks, her brows furrowing slightly.

Before Derek can even say anything, he can hear footsteps coming down the hall.

“What’s going on? What is it?” someone says.

The girl looks towards the door, “ I think something is wrong with him. He won’t stop screaming.”

There’s another voice moments later. “What’s going on? Derek?”

Braeden comes into view above him seconds later, her face full of concern. “Are you okay?”

Derek rolls his eyes and starts to sit up. “ I’m fine.”

“Then why do you keep screaming?” Says the girl suspiciously.

“Because you kept scaring me!” Derek yells.

He can see the guy from before flinch slightly out of the corner of his eye.

“I was just coming to tell you hi,” The girl says and she looks offended. “You were busy so I thought I’d wait.”

Derek sighs and rubs at his eyes, frustrated. “ Just … I don’t know, knock next time or something. “

The girl looks at him for a long uncomfortable moment. Her wide eyes give nothing away as she stares at him; Derek shifts uncomfortably after a few seconds.

The girl nods quickly and then turns to leave and starts walking towards the door. She stops abruptly and looks back to him.

“Oh…Hi. You scream really loud,” and then continues to walk out.

Derek watches her go and then turns to Braeden for… confirmation? Did that just really happen.

She gives him an amused look.

“So that was Golden Fro,” Braeden says and puts out a hand to help Derek stand.

The boy from before sighs and when Derek looks over he’s shaking his head.

“Her name is Meredith,” He says and steps forward. He puts out a hand for Derek to shake and opens his mouth to speak but Braeden breaks in.

“This is flounder,” She says and then starts laughing.

The boy rolls his eyes but smiles. “Do you know anyone’s actual name?” He asks then turns to Derek. “I’m Isaac.”

“This is Protégé,” Braeden says and Derek sighs loudly.

“Derek,” He says and shakes Isaac’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“I think I like Screamer better though now that I’m thinking about it,” Braeden says thoughtfully.

Derek glares at her. Braeden smiles back. Isaac leaves without either of them noticing.

 

+

Derek meets Boyd the next morning. He wakes up early and dresses in some basketball shorts and a t-shirt that says Beacon Hills P.E. and leaves the room quietly as to not wake his roommate.

When Derek steps out on to the porch he sees someone bent over tying his shoe. At the sound of the door closing the boy looks up and gives Derek a once over.

“You the new kid?”

“Aren’t we all?” Derek asks.

“New _this_ week?”

Derek nods.

“Boyd,” He says.

“Derek.”

“Cool.” There’s a brief moment of silence as Boyd finishes tying his shoe and stands up to stretch.  “Want to run with me?” Boyd asks, gesturing out towards the path to the side of the house.

Derek nods and starts to walk towards the path.

They start at a slow pace, but then they slowly pick up speed. Boyd is the first one to put forth a burst of speed, and when Derek follows into the rhythm beside him, Boyd shoots him a grin with a sharp nod tagged on the end. They run in silence; the pair of them not trying to outdo the other one, just testing the limits of their companionship.

Derek decides that he likes Boyd.

+

Derek’s work-study is both awesome and a bit of a mess. All of the official work-study positions around the school had been filled by the time Derek had enrolled, but with some pull from Deaton he was able to get Derek a position as a lab assistant.  Awesome. He gets to work close to Deaton and will be in the center of all the research.

He’s also basically the entire department’s secretary, errand boy, and janitor. Not awesome.

Derek is distracted reading over some paper work that Deaton gave him before he left and doesn’t even register there are other people in the common room until someone waves a controller in front of his face.

Derek jumps and looks up startled. “What?”

There’s a blonde guy with an intense jawline and dark eyes giving him an amused look. “I asked if you wanted to play a game of CoD?”

“Ah no, but thank you. I think I’m going  to get some reading done.” He says and looks back down at the papers then back up. “I’m Derek by the way.”

“Ah, the new kid! I’m Ethan and this is Aiden,” He says and points to a guy, identical to him standing behind him looking confused.

“Classes don’t’ start until Monday,” Aiden says dryly.

Derek just stares at him.

“It’s Friday,” Aiden continues like his point should be made.

Derek continues to stare.

Ethan laughs and rolls his eyes.

“You’ll have to excuse my brother,” Ethan says. “ He hasn’t grasped the concept of studying yet.”

Aiden scoffs.” That’s my point. There’s nothing to study yet.”

Ethan shakes his head and tosses a controller to his brother and as Derek turns to walk towards the hallway he can hear the game resume play.

+

Derek meets Erica at the grocery store by accident.

He’s straining to look at the tiny nameplates above the aisles; all he wants is a loaf of bread.  He finally see’s the aisle number and hurries to get to it. In his haste, he bumps into someone coming around the corner of the aisle, causing all of the contents in their hand basket to tumble to the ground. There are several cracking sounds, and Derek can practically see the girl he’s bumped into shoulders sag as she reaches down to pick up a carton of eggs.

“Great,” she mutters as she runs a hand through a tangle of frizzy, blonde hair.

Derek reaches out to help her, but she puts a hand out to stop him. “No it’s fine. I got it.”

Derek hesitates and then picks up a box from the mess of spilled items. “I was the one who ran into you, at least let me help you—“

“I said I got it,” She says and pulls a box of cereal out of Derek’s grip. “I don’t want anyone’s help.”

She says the last part so quietly, Derek barely hears her. Before Derek can say anything else, she’s replaced all the stuff that isn’t broken into her basket and is scurrying away from him.

Derek stares dumbly behind her. This town is so weird. When he turns to leave he bumps into someone else. By the looks of his clothes, the grumpy look on his face, and his nametag, is the stores’ manager.

He spends five minutes trying to explain to the manager that the dropped items were not his,  which on ended with him being glared into submission and picking up said items anyway, and continuing his shopping with an employee tailing him. He finally makes his way out of the store and down the main road back to campus in a very sour mood. All he wanted was some damn bread.

The walk back is pleasant enough. Derek thought he would hate not having a car. He’d mournfully left his Camaro, a gift from his parents after he’d gotten accepted into school, back in Beacon Hills.  The weather is fairly nice here and he can see himself using the opportunity to stay fit. With more moments like these he might just like Bar Harbor and all of its scenic beauty.

He reconsiders his assessment when someone throws an apple at him.

“What the hell,” He cries out, his hand reaching up to the spot where he got hit.  He hasn’t had time to look around before another one is being pelted at his face.  He ducks in time for it to miss breaking his nose. He is not so lucky with the next one.

The force of it makes him drop his bags and hunch over, cradling his nose.

“Why?” He moans out.

“That’s a good question perv,” He looks to see the girl from before. “Why are you following me?”

There’s a slight waver in her voice, and when Derek looks back to her he can see her hands fidgeting nervously around the bag handles.

Derek quells the instinct to yell and stands up slowly. When he pulls his hand from his face there are a few specks of blood, but a quick wiggle of his nose tells him that it’s not broken.

“I’m not following you,” Derek says and bends to pick up his fallen items.

“Then why are you—“

“Gee, I don’t know,” Derek snaps and lifts his bag off of the ground. His fucking bread is squashed.  “Maybe because I live this way too, maybe, just maybe we both go to COA.”

“Oh,” The girl says quietly.

Derek stands to continue walking and spares the girl one more annoyed glare before he walks past her. Just like that, his mood turned sour again.

As he walks further, he’s lost in thought, recalling the angry story manager and this crazy girl who thought he was stalking her.  If everyone in Bar Harbor was like the pair of them, he was in for a world of problems, no matter how beautiful it was here. His mind stubbornly drifts to his roommate, which makes him scowl even harder if that was possible.

Derek walks in brooding silence for another 15 minutes until he finally sees the campus come into view.

“Wait, are you the new kid?”

Derek looks over his shoulder and then frowns, the girl from the store, the girl with the projectile apples is behind him.

“Are you following me?” Derek asks sarcastically.

The girl looks down and rubs nervously at her arm. The gesture instantly makes Derek’s annoyance subside.

“Let me guess, “ He says and nods his head towards the direction he was going. “ You’re the last roommate.”

“Technically, you’re the last roommate,” She quips and then she almost instantly and visibly cowers. Derek frowns and then when she averts her eyes he clears his throat.

“I guess you’re right,” He concedes. She looks up tentatively and he offers her a small smile that she returns.

“I’m Derek.”

“Erica,” she mumbles.

They stand there in awkward silence for a few long moments. Derek doesn’t want to be the first to walk away.

“Well,” he says and points towards the path to the house. Erica nods and starts to walk back down the path and Derek files in next to her.

There’s a tense air between them, Derek is trying very hard not to be rude, but he’s not really up to making small talk with the girl who just almost broke his nose.

“So,” Erica says, breaking the silence. “You from around here?”

Derek looks at her.

“I meant originally,” she adds.

“Umm no,” Derek says.

Erica looks at him expectantly but Derek doesn’t say anything else.

“I’m from Portland,” She says finally. “It’s about three hours from here.”

Derek just nods and continues walking.

“How do you like it so far,” Erica asks after another few long moments of silence.

He wants to say that he’d like it a lot more if he didn’t have people throwing apples at his face, but when he looks at the girl she looks sad and dejected, likes she’s really trying.

“It’s alright, “he says. “Different, but I think I can make it work.”

“Different from what?”

“California, a small town called Beacon Hills,” He says.  Erica lets out a low whistle.

“Far from home,” She says.

Derek scoffs because he doesn’t have a home. Kate made sure of that.

“I guess.”

“I get wanting to get away though,” She says and then runs a hand through her messy hair. A finger gets caught towards the end and she has to shake it out. She looks back towards Derek and her face is flushed slightly with embarrassment.  “This is as far as my mother would let me get though.”

Derek nods and continues walking.

“I have epilepsy,” Erica continues seeming to not be comfortable with the silence. “So… you know. Mom wants to have me on a short leash incase something happens. Which, whatever… I’m not a child… I’m fine.” She finishes quietly.

Derek doesn’t say anything to that either.

“You don’t talk much,” Erica says.

“What makes you think that?”

“Well you’ve said like three things to me.”

“I don’t know you.”

“And?”

“And you hit me in the face with an apple,” Derek says giving her a look.

“I’m really sorry about that,” She says and bites her lip nervously.

“It’s fine,” Derek says and then looks away. “I just don’t talk a lot, nothing against you.”

Erica nods and they spend the rest of the walk in a content, and only slightly awkward silence.

That night when Derek is coming out of the bathroom, he nearly steps over Braeden who is sitting out side the door waiting.

Derek bites backs a snappy comment, but like _who does shit like that._

Braeden smirks at him and Derek rolls his eyes and walks towards their room.

“I heard Zen went all stranger Danger on you this morning,” Braeden says from the doorway of the bathroom.

Derek turns to look at her, “ I’m assuming you mean Erica, who is so the opposite of zen.”

Braeden just smiles wider and pulls back into the bathroom.

When he gets back into his room he sits at his desk and pulls up his bookmarked pages.  He’s just about to click on one of the articles he has to read for class when the Facebook icon catches his eye. He hasn’t really been on it since he left Beacon Hills, and part of him is terrified of what he will find. He clicks on the link and then just stares at the login page, trying to will himself to type in his information.

Thoughts of his friends fleet through his mind. He aches to know what Scott and Stiles are up to.  He wonders if Allison has tried to add him again after he denied her requests so many times before.

He closes his eyes and thinks about the fun they had before her cousin ruined it all; Kate and him, Allison and Scott, and Stiles along for the ride – always. He wonders what they’re all doing now…

He startles when Braeden’s voice comes right beside him.

“Do you have a resting glare face or something?” Braeden says and when he looks behind him she’s standing over his shoulder.

“No,” Derek says and glares at her. “Do you have any other character trait besides annoying.”

She just smirks at him and looks back at the screen. “Can’t remember your password?”

Derek’s about to answer her when his eyes flick down to her hot pink tank top, then back up to three rows of scars that start at the left side of her jaw down her neck and across her chest.

He has the insane instinct to reach out and trace a finger down one. He can’t believe he hadn’t noticed before.

She clears her throat and when Derek looks up at her she smirking at him. Derek looks away back to his screen, his face heating with belated embarrassment.

“An animal attack,” Braeden says, “When I was 13.”

When Derek looks back to her again, she’s at her dresser pulling out and putting on a big hoodie. She turns back around and raises her brow at him.

“I’m sorry,” He says quietly. “I didn’t mean to stare. I just hadn’t noticed …before.”

She doesn’t say anything for a long time. Derek exits out of Facebook and starts looking at some Wikipedia articles about taxonomy. 

“It’s no big deal. You know,” Braeden says later. It takes Derek several long moments to realize she’s said something.

“Hmm,” He says giving her a look over his shoulder. She’s combing back her hair to one side and starts a lone braid that hangs over her shoulder, covering part of her scars.

“I said it’s no big deal,” She says again. Derek lifts an eyebrow and she looks away. “I’m perfectly content with who I am.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” Derek says, confused as to where this is coming from. “I’m sorry if I made you feel—

‘”No it’s fine,” Braeden cuts off then and stands up abruptly. “I’m tired.” She says and starts to pull back the blankets on her bed.  Before Derek can even form a sentence to try and fix whatever this is that has settled between them, she’s buried under a mountain of bedding and he can hear the faint sound of music coming from her earbuds.

Derek turns back to his computer and bookmarks the pages he’s on before shutting down his laptop and getting into bed.

They don’t talk about it again.

+

Derek lasts two weeks before his nightmares become too real for him. He wakes up more and more in a silent scream, searching frantically around him for members of his family scattered across the floor.

One night Derek wakes up so violently he falls out of bed. He scrambles off of the floor and blinks rapidly to make sure he’s not covered in flames.

“Fuck,” He breathes out and sags against his bed.  He’s so out of it, lost in his misery, that he doesn’t even realize that Braeden is awake and speaking to him until she rests a gentle hand on his head.

He flinches away and she steps back quickly, her hands up in surrender to him.

“It’s just me, “She says her voice calm and measured. “Derek?”

Derek takes a deep breath and nods. “I’m sorry… “He puts his head in his hands and sighs. He can feel goosebumps rise up on his sweat slick skin.

“Derek, you’re shivering,” Braeden says and then puts a hand on his arm and pulls gently. “Come on get up.”

She helps him to his feet and he turns to get back on to his bed, but she pulls him instead towards the doorway.

“What,” He starts but he can’t even find the energy to care if she’s kicking him out to sleep on the couch.

So he doesn’t argue has she leads him down the stairwell, an arm gripped tight around his waist, the other braced against the wall to keep their balance. He sighs into the couch after she deposits him there and lets her manhandle him into some blankets.

He’s staring at the blank black screen of the TV when she comes back ten minutes later with two mugs of something hot. He can see the steam rising as she places one down on the coffee table in front of them.

She sits next to him and holds out the mug for him to take. He just stares at her. She waits, eyebrow quirked.

He finally takes it, carefully slipping his hand into the handle. His fingers brush lightly against Braeden’s during the transfer and he looks up at her.

“What’s this?”

“It’s tea,” She says and pulls back her hand to reach for her owe mug.

“Why?” He asks.

“To drink, I swear I don’t know why people call you protégé.”

“You’re the only one who calls me that,” Derek points out.

“I had such high hopes. I was rooting for you,” She tuts and then she looks at him seriously. “We were all rooting for you, Derek.”

He just stares at her and then down at the mug of tea. “What?”

She sighs loudly. “Okay, we are definitely going to marathon Top Model.”

She leans over him to reach the remote and Derek can still smell her body wash, something with vanilla in it, but before he can think to hard about it she’s pulling back and turning the TV on.

+

“So wait, why is she crying?” Derek asks three hours later.

“Because they cut her hair,” Braeden says handing him another mug of tea.

“But it looks better.”

“Yeah, but it’s shorter,” Braeden says and shrugs. “Some girls are sensitive about their hair.”

“But that’s stupid,” Derek says and takes another sip of his tea. “It’s like hardly shorter and it’s going to grow back.”

Braeden just hums, but when Derek looks her way she’s smiling into her mug.  Derek is saved having to ask her what she’s smiling about by a quiet cough coming from the hallway. They both look over and see when Isaac walks into the common room.

“Sup, Flounder,” Braeden says.  Derek gives her an annoyed look but when he turns back to Isaac, he’s got a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Just couldn’t sleep,” He says and walks in a little further and looks at the TV.  “What are you guys watching?”

“Oh bae,” Braeden says and pats the seat on the other side of her. “Have a seat.”

There are a few minutes of silence before Isaac speaks up.

“Wait, girls put all of that on their faces?” He ask, shock evident in his voice. Braeden Nods.

“Like, why though?” He  adds.

“Yeah?”

“Shh children, watch.”

+

Their nights continue like this. Derek and Braeden migrate to the common room at some point in the middle of the night, and Isaac follows shortly after that.

Boyd comes down with Isaac one night and Derek gets up to get another mug. It’s nothing they talk about. They don’t even ask why they other us up at three in the morning watching old episodes of reality shows.

Erica finds them one night arguing over who should have won Cycle 2.  Boyd, Isaac, and Derek that is, Braeden is silently committing the whole thing to memory.

Derek is so into defending Mercedes, he doesn’t see Braeden get up to guide Erica into the kitchen.  When they come back Erica sit’s down on the floor in front of Derek with a steaming cup of tea and says. “Shandi should have won.”

“Thank you!” Boyd says and reaches over to give her a fist bump.

Ethan joins in towards the end of season three. Shocking them all when he says. “Oh this is when Yaya spits it out like a total wuss.”

They all stare at him and then collectively look back to the screen to watch her spit the product she had been trying to advertise back into the bowl.

“She’s definitely going home,” Isaac says and then stuffs a handful of chips in his mouth before passing the bowl to Erica.

“Nah she makes it all the way to the end.”

“Dude, spoiler alert!” Derek says and Braeden snorts from the spot next to him. While Erica and Isaac throw chips at Ethan.

Aiden finds them one Friday when they’ve given up all pretense to having social lives and is hooked when he watches Rebecca Epley faint.

“Wicked,” He says and pulls one of the bar stools over and sit behind the couch with his feet propped up.

Braeden finds them like that three hours later, all of them in shock.

“Wait… they’re both going home?” Derek says highlighter poised over a sentence that he’s had to reread six times.

“That’s so sad, I liked Rebecca,” Erica says.

“Yeah she’s hot, can we like vote to get her back?” Aiden asks.

“Dude, the season is like nine years old,” Ethan says.

“And shh it’s about to get good,” Braeden says and sits on the edge of the couch.

“Ah shit,” Boyd says when Tyra starts yelling.

“I have never in my life yelled at a girl like this,” Ethan says in unison with Tyra.

“Bro,” Aiden says and frowns at him. “No.”

“Bro yes,” Braeden says. She points at Ethan and pauses for several seconds as Tyra yells in the background. Then they both yell.” We were all rooting for you!”

Braeden laughs so hard she almost falls off the couch.  Derek frowns, the memory of that first night coming back to him, and then pushes her off the couch.

When midterms hit, they put a pause on watching TV and instead convene at the kitchen tables with books and laptops.

That’s when Meredith joins them.  She comes into the kitchen and just stares at them with wide eyes. “They told me you were done watching the terrible show,” she says by way of explanation before she sits a book next to Isaac. 

_They?_ Braeden mouths when she catches Derek’s eye. He shrugs and looks back down to his textbook.

He can hear Meredith rummaging in the cabinets for a few minutes, and when she comes back she has two steaming cups of something that smells like hot chocolate. She gives one to Erica and keeps one for herself.

Erica just stares down at it.  Meredith opens her sketchpad.

“Umm, thanks Mere,” Erica says but it sounds more like a question.

“Sure,” Meredith says, not even looking up from her book. “I know you don’t drink coffee.”

Erica smiles softly and then grabs the mug and thanks her again.

It’s silent for a few minutes before Aiden speaks.

“There’s been hot chocolate this whole time and you’ve been making me drink this shitty tea Braeden?”

The table collectively groans.

Midterms have a different effect on all of them.  Derek spends more time at the lab, and Braeden keeps making jokes about how his face is going to get stuck in a permanent scowl.

Braeden takes to drinking five-hour energy drinks to stay awake long enough to study when she comes in from whatever job she’s working that day.

“Dude, caffeine poisoning is real,” Aiden tells her when she collapses into a chair at the kitchen table and throws back a bottle of the mix.

“Yeah, can’t you just take some time off while exams are here and study and sleep like a normal person,” Derek asks.

She lifts her brows and gives him a ‘ _really’_ look before gesturing to the table at all seven of her roommates in various states of chaos.

“Point taken,” he says and goes back to his notes.

“Besides girls gotta eat, “ She says and opens her text book with a heavy sigh. “And pass her classes.”

Meredith keeps blasting this loud screeching sound that literally sends Erica into a fit of tears before Boyd forces a pair of headphones at her.

“It’s just to drown them out!” she yells loudly as she boobs her head softly to the rhythm only she can seem to find in the beat.

Isaac starts biting his nails and the stress makes him jumpier than usual, while Boyd seems to have lost the ability to understand humor and looks like he’s going to punch Aiden every time he cracks a joke at the table.

Aiden is probably the calmest of them all. His course load seems to be the lightest, and Ethan is gone most of the time to meet with study groups.

Midterms hit Erica the hardest.

She and Derek are the last ones left at the table the day before their last day of exams. He’s had to redo this equation six times and has gotten a different answer each time.  

He looks up abruptly when Erica releases a startled yell. He’s about to ask her, what the fuck because she scared him a little bit, when she falls out of her chair.

“Jesus, Erica!” Derek shouts and pushes back from his seat so fast it tumbles over. When he rounds the table he can see her convulsing on the floor and he panics.

In high school there had been this one guy who had a seizure during lunch. He tries to recall what the staff did in that situation but he comes up blank and tries not to freak out.

“Shit, shit, umm,” He says loudly before dropping to his knees. And he vaguely hears the sound of a door closing.

“What’s going on in…” Braeden says coming into the room and freezes. Derek looks up at her, panic coursing through him.

 “Move,” She says to Derek and pushes him out of the way as she kneels down next to Erica.  She reaches over and pulls the seat cushion off the chair and folds it in half.

 “Help me lift her head,” Braeden says and gestures for Derek to lift from her shoulder as she lifts her head and puts the cushion under Erica.

Then she unzips Erica’s jacket a little before she pulls at her shoulder to turn her on her side.

“How long had she been doing this before I walked in?” Braeden asks looking down at her watch.  Derek just stares down at Erica’s jerking form until Braeden snaps her fingers in from of him.  “Derek, how long?”

“Oh shit, sorry,” He says and closes his eyes trying to think. “30 seconds maybe?”

 “Almost a minute,” She says quietly looking down at her watch.

Derek sits there, breath held, while Braeden continues to check her watch.

Finally Erica’s body starts to calm.  

“A minute and 15 seconds,” Braeden says. Erica stills and then her eyes blink open a few seconds later.

“What. The hell,” She says and Braden guides her to her back.  Derek scrambles over to look at her, hovering over her head.

“Should we call an ambulance? Shit, Erica are you… are you okay, what do you need me—“

“OMG calm down!” She says and pushes him away with a palm to his face.

“Seriously,” Braeden says and stands to get a paper towel and hands it to Erica.

“Thanks,” She says softly and starts to sit up slowly. Derek puts a hand at her back to steady her. She wipes a bit of spit from the side of her face and there’s a light flush that creeps up the back of her neck.

“You okay,” Derek asks softly after a few moments.  She nods stiffly and mutters a soft. “Thanks.”

“What day is it?” Braeden asks.

“Umm, Friday.” Erica says and then rubs at her eyes.

“Who’s the president?”

“Hillary Clinton,.”

“Umm…” Derek says.

“Oh I thought you said who should be president. My bad.”

Braeden laughs and rubs Erica’s shoulders. ‘ That’s my girl. You feel okay?”

Erica nods and starts to stand up, but Derek puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“What are the six major proponents of alternative agriculture compared with those of six leading proponents of conventional agriculture?” Derek says.

Braeden shoots him a look of  ‘wtf man.’

But Erica shocks them both by answering.

 “Um centralization vs. decentralization, dependence vs. independence, competition vs. community, domination of nature vs. harmony with nature, specialization vs. diversity, and exploitation vs. restraint?”

Derek has no clue if she’s right, but it sounds solid to him.

“Okay, I think you’re good. And now we know you’re ready for your test tomorrow,” He says and stands up. “Bed?”

She smiles softly and nods then lets the two of them help her to her feet.  She starts to move towards her books, but Derek stops her.

“I’ll put them in your bag for you,” He says and stacks them in a pile as Braeden walks with her down the hall.

When Derek gets back to the room, Braeden is sitting on her bed untying her shoes. She looks up when he walks in.

“Wild huh?” She says, tossing one shoe into the corner.

Derek nods and goes to sit on his bed. He feels a little shaken up by the whole thing.

“Where were you coming from?” Derek asks, just now realizing that it’s almost four in the morning.

“Had a bar tending shift at McKay’s tonight,” She says and starts to rummage in her drawers for something.

Derek just hums and stares down at his hands.

“You alright?” Braeden asks. When Derek looks at her, she’s changed into a t-shirt and some shorts, and his throat tightens for some reason.

“Yeah, just a little scary. Watching that happen to your friend,” He says and looks away.

“She’ll be fine.”

Derek nods and stands to pull back his comforter and gets under his blankets.

He looks back over to Braeden and sees her scrolling through something on her phone.

“How did you know what to do?” He asks, not sure if she’s turned her music on or not.

“My mom, before she died used to get them,” Braeden says softly.

Derek closes his eyes tight and tries to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” He says.

“Thanks,” She says. “It’s been me and gramps for a while now. So yeah.”

“What about your dad, “Derek asks.

“Died when I was little. Car Crash,” she says and then sits up a little.  “What about you? What’s your family like?”

Derek turns over on his side and gets lost in a flash of images: his house burning down to the ground, Cora’s unmoving body in the hospital, Laura crying and crying. He wills himself not to cry.

“Don’t have much anymore,” Derek says softly.

There’s a moment of silence before Braeden speaks again.

“You’ve got us.”


	2. Chapter 2

October brings with it a startling array of colors in the changing of the leaves. The blur of green, red, yellow and orange is overwhelmingly calming to Derek, and he looks forward to his morning runs with Boyd.

He steps out onto the porch one morning, the air a touch too crisp, and has barely had time to put on his shoes when Boyd comes out of the house and runs past him. He doesn’t even give him that good-morning nod thing that he does. He just runs off as if Derek isn’t their waiting for him.

Derek calls after him, but he doesn’t slow down.  He hurries and ties his shoes and races off behind him.

“Boyd, wait!” He yells as he runs. Derek’s heartbeat pounds in his ears and his adrenaline spikes as he trails behind his friend. In a speed that even impresses himself, he catches up to Boyd and reaches out to grab him.

“Don’t touch me,” Boyd says. He turns and pushes Derek’s hand away forcibly.

“What the hell, man,” Derek says stepping back, confused. “What’s up with you today?”

“It’s none of your business okay,” Boyd yells, breaths coming out in short angry bursts. He turns to run off again, but Derek gets in front of him.

“Hey!” He says and puts his hands up to stop him. “You can talk to me about it!”

“I don’t need to talk,” Boyd says and takes a step closer to Derek, getting in his face. “I need you to get out of my way.”

Derek considers his options. He could move, let Boyd do his thing, or he could not, and possibly get beat to a pulp. He’s a fit guy, but he’s never been prone to fighting… or very good at it. Boyd could definitely take him.

“No,” He says surprising both of them. Boyd’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak but he doesn’t say anything as he takes a step backwards from Derek.

“Why do you even care,” Boyd asks finally, shaking his head.

“Because,” Derek says then pauses, shrugging helplessly, “We’re friends, man.”

Boyd looks like he wants to protest. He also looks like he’s about to laugh. Derek does not expect him to crumple to the ground. Derek rushes forward and kneels down next to him.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he says in a rush.

Boyd’s body shakes in front of him and Derek’s hand hovers anxiously around Boyd’s shoulders, unsure if he should touch him or not.

“It’s my fault,” Boyd says through his sobs. “She’s dead and it’s my fault.”

Derek reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder that Boyd turns into and then leans in further to bury his face against Derek’s neck.  He wraps his arms around Boyd and lets him cry. He lets him grab his shirt until it’s stretched out from being pulled. He lets him cry until they are both definitely going to be late for their first class.

Finally, Boyd pulls back and wipes his face, “Sorry.”

Derek shakes his head and stands up. He holds out a hand to help Boyd. “Nothing to be sorry about.”

Once on his feet, Boyd takes a few deep, calming breaths then looks down at his watch and sighs.

“Let’s go get some food,” Derek says and pats Boyd’s shoulder. He jerks his head back towards the path to the house and grins. “You’re driving.”

After a mostly silent walk back to the house, Boyd unlocks his beat-up Station Wagon, and the two of them get in and head into town.

“Man, you’re so lucky you have a car,” Derek says, finally breaking the settled silence between them. Boyd nods as he slows for a red light and Derek continues. “I mean Bar Harbor is beautiful and it’s a nice walk but kind of a lot of work trying to juggle groceries.”

His mind drifts back to when he met Erica and he can’t help but smile a little bit at the now humorous memory.

“You can borrow her anytime,” Boyd says, interrupting his thoughts.

“Yeah?” Derek asks and looks over as Boyd makes a turn down one of the busy streets.

“Sure, but I have one rule,” Boyd says and pulls the car into some street parking. He looks over to give Derek a serious look, the effect only lessened by his red and puffy eyes. “Replace the gas you use.”

Derek huffs out a small laugh. “Easy. You got it.”

“My man,” Boyd says and then opens his door to get out.

After a brief glance around the main road, they settle down at the bar of one of the few restaurants actually open that early and get a couple of mugs of coffee.

“I’m sorry I broke down on you,” Boyd says after a minute as he looks over the lunch menu.

Derek looks at him and then back to his own menu. “Like I said, nothing to be sorry about.”

“I—“Boyd says and Derek sees him opening and closing his mouth, trying to talk.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he says then adds, “I mean you can, but don’t feel like you owe me an explanation.”

“My little sister. Today is – would have been her birthday,” Boyd says. “She’d be 14 this year.”

“I’m sorry,” Derek says.

“It was years ago,” Boyd says shaking his head. “I’m usually fine. It’s just… She’d be starting high school this year and I don’t know…” He trails off and shrugs a shoulder.

“No I get it. Can’t help but wonder what if,” Derek says and laughs a little bitterly. “I know the feeling.”

“No disrespect, but probably not,” Boyd says. And then pauses. Derek can see the menu bend slightly as Boyd’s grip tightens around it. “My sister drowned.” Boyd closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he continues.  “She died while I was supposed to be watching her. That kind of guilt—”

“Eats you alive,” Derek says, suddenly wanting something stronger in his mug.

Boyd gives him a sharp look, “Seems like you might know a little something about it.”

“A little,” Derek admits.

The server comes back and gets their food order, and the two of them fall into silence. It’s not tense, but Derek can practically feel questions rolling off of Boyd.

“My parents died, in a house fire almost two years ago,” Derek says quietly. “In a fire my girlfriend at the time set.”

Boyd is silent for several long minutes before he talks again. “That’s… fuck.”

He puts his hand on Derek’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry, man.”

Derek nods.

They don’t talk about it more than that. Boyd doesn’t ask about Kate and he doesn’t ask about his sister.

After a quiet breakfast, they make it to the rest of their classes for the day and that night as the group sits around to watch America’s Next Top Model again; Derek and Boyd stay in the kitchen and study, both offering silent gestures of acknowledgement and comfort to each other.

+

For Halloween, Braeden invites them all out to a party at McKays. With a lot of pouting on Erica’s behalf, a lot of serious looks from Boyd, and a not so subtle dig on Derek’s social life by Aiden, Derek finds himself piling into Boyd’s Station Wagon next to Ethan.

Erica, who is unsurprisingly sitting shotgun, makes them listen to a loud mix of pop songs that make him think of Laura. He stares out the window and thinks about his older sister, a sad smile tugs on his lips as he remembers her obnoxiously loud music she would blast from her room behind her makeshift “No idiot brother allowed” sign taped to her door.

He’s lost in thought and doesn’t even notice that they’ve made it to town. He hurry’s out of the car and walks beside Boyd as they approach McKays.

“She said meet her out back,” Aiden says, looking down at his phone. The group veers to the side of the building and down to the alley behind the strip of businesses.    

They stand in silence behind a door marked “McKays: Delivery Entrance” and wait for a few chilly minutes before it swings open and reveals a leather clad Braeden holding a hand full of wristbands.

“It’s 21 and up tonight,” She says and point the hand with the wristbands towards them. She narrows her eyes giving them a cool look.  “I got these for you, but please try not to act like a bunch of noobs. If any of you losers get me fired, I’m going to personally make you’re like hell,” She says and then looks at Aiden. “And break your nose.”

Aiden rolls his eyes and puts on his cheap firemen’s helmet and holds out his hand for her to put the band on.

“By the way,” He says as she secures the wristband. He looks up and grins as he walks past her. “No one says noobs anymore.”

Braeden sticks her tongue out at him and then turns to the rest of them. “Alright in, in. It’s the 9th circle out here.”

She eyes each of them as they walk by in costume, handing them their wristband as they pass; Ethan smiles and does a little shimmy past her in a robin hood costume, Erica is dressed as a witch and leans in a gives her a kiss that leaves a smudge of black lipstick, Braeden smiles at  Meredith’s Japanese horror film character that Derek can’t remember the name of, she nods her approval to Isaac  when he grins at her to reveal a set of fake vampire teeth, and she high fives Boyd as he walks by in his Blade outfit.

Derek hold his hand out for his wrist band and she slides in front of him, arms crossed and unimpressed. He huffs out a sigh.

“I do recall saying it was a costume party,” Braeden says looking down at his outfit. “What are you?”

“A werewolf,” he deadpans.

“Aren’t you suppose to have fangs and claws or something,” She replies.

“It’s not a full moon,” Derek says sarcastically and then looks down at her outfit. He swallows and then looks back up. She’s smirking at him.  “What are you, some kind of assassin?”

She reaches in her back pocket and slips on a tiny headband with black pointy ears.

“I’m cat woman.”

“Original,” he says and ducks down under her arm.

“You’ll need this,” Derek looks over his shoulder and sees her holding the bright wristband. She smiles and reaches for his hand and slips the band around his wrist.

“Have fun teen wolf,” She says with a soft laugh. Derek watches her as she walks back behind the bar. His stomach does a weird fluttery thing that he is not going to think too hard about. He’s not.

He shakes his head and steps into the mass of people collected in the main room.

They’re not late exactly, just shy of the fashionable type, but the party seems to be in full swing. He gets pulled into a dance circle that includes Erica, Isaac, Meredith and Ethan.  Erica tries to make him dance, but her hips are doing things that he’s not sure his body is capable of reproducing so he swaps places with Ethan and lets them have at it.

When he turns to look around at the others, Meredith is teaching Isaac some kind of dance move that looks like it belongs in a ceremonial ritual.

“Umm,” Derek says.

“Yeah,” Boyd says and hands him a drink. “I try not to ask.”

Derek takes a sip of it and then grimaces. “Is this straight whiskey?” He splutters out.

“Mhm,” Boyd says and takes a sip of his bottle of water. His eyes are trained on Erica and Ethan, and Derek stares back and forth for a few seconds before he shakes his head and goes to the bar to try and add a mixer to his drink.

He makes it to the bar with relative ease, despite the crowd around him, and there’s a pretty redhead behind the counter when he approaches.

“Hi cutie,” She says and leans forward on the bar top giving Derek an excellent view of her cleavage popping out from her butterfly costume. “What can I get you?”

“Umm,” is Derek’s eloquent response.

The bartender smiles and flips her hair over her shoulder. Derek fidgets as her eyes trail slowly down his body.

“Hmmm let me guess. Are you a vampire? From like that show on the CW?” 

“Umm N—“

“Because I love that show,” she says and bites her lip.

“That’s exactly who he is,” Braeden says, suddenly next to the girl. She gives him a faux sweet smile. “Now either ask the girl for her number protégé or tell her what you need. You’re holding up the line.”

Derek looks over his shoulder at the small queue that has started to form. He turn and holds up his glass. “Cola?”

The girl actually giggles and puts her hand to her chest. “You are the cutest.”

Braeden and Derek scowl in unison, but Derek thinks for different reasons.

Braeden reaches and grabs his drink and fills it just below the rim with Coke before she hands it back.

“Go be merry,” she says, waving him off, and then walks back to her section of the bar.

Derek frowns at her retreating form and then looks back at the girl.

“Didn’t mean to step on someone else’s territory,” She says and adjusts her wings straps that only push her cleavage out further.

“Um what?”

She jerks her head to the rigth. Derek looks over and meets Braeden’s eyes for a second before she quickly looks away, intensely focused on the drink she’s mixing.

“Oh uh, no we’re roommates,” he says and then is pushed out of the way by a girl trying to order a drink.

The bartender laughs and nods as she turns to the new customer. “Uh huh… what can I get you, honey?”

Derek glances at Braeden before he walks back to the rest of the group. Boyd has started dancing with Erica next to Isaac and Meredith who have unsurprisingly attracted an audience to them. Derek looks around and finds Aiden chatting with some pretty blonde girl and Ethan is taking a row of shots with a group of people near the front door.

With no desire to join any of them, he stands there and silently watches as he sips his drink.

“If your plan is to glare so much that people will stay away from you, it’s working,” Braeden says, making him jump a little. She  hands him a shot glass with orange liquid and smirks.

Before Derek can respond Braeden yells loud enough for her voice to carry over the loud music. “Hey Peach-o’s!”  Derek rolls his eyes at the nickname, but within seconds his six other housemates are crowded around him grabbing glasses of the orange shot.

“Is it orange for Peach House or for Halloween?” Meredith asks staring into the drink.

“God, does it matter?” Aiden asks rolling his eyes.

“Well if it’s for Peach House we should have a special toast,” She says.

“It’s for Halloween,” Braeden says and then lifts hers shot glass up in the air. “Happy Halloween to my favorite nerds.”

They all throw back the too sweet shot of the mystery liquid and then sit the empties back on the tray.

“Nerds? Aren’t you studying to be a conservationist or something,” Aiden asks.

“Conservationist Biologist,” She says and takes his shot glass from him, “Much cooler than those soft marine biologists.”

Derek rolls his eyes. “Go back to work. “

“Good idea!” She says. “Giving you guys free drinks won’t do anything for my tip jar. Girls gotta eat!”

After a chorus of thank you’s Braeden dips and tucks through the crowd back to the bar. Derek, starting to be on the right side of a buzz, lets himself get pulled into a group dance again as the lights dim and start to flash.

Derek lets himself give way to the pulsing beat that he can feel more than he can hear. Sure hands find his waist and guide him from beat to beat. He looks over his shoulder and smiles at Erica, now wearing Boyd’s dark sunglasses.

“Stop thinking so hard,” She yells over the thumbing beat. “You look great,” She adds before she spins around to dance with Boyd.  Derek laughs and closes his eyes and lets the music wash over him as the beat blends song after song.

The music begins to calm and Derek opens his eyes. The lights are turned on and when Derek looks around, he’s dancing with a different group of people. He stops suddenly, awkwardly side stepping his dance partners new attempt at grinding against him. He looks around until he finds the tip of Erica’s witch hat walking towards the bar.

He squeezes through the crowd and looks for any of his roommates. Near the bar and finds Braeden leaning over the counter talking to Erica with a concerned look on her face. On his way to them, he spots Ethan and Aiden in a heated conversation near the back exit.

He pauses, looking between the two pairs and deciding who to join.  Ethan suddenly grabs Aiden by the front of his costume and throws him away towards the ground, shattering his silent dilemma.

There’s a collective gasp from the crowd as Aiden takes down a shot girl when he falls.

Derek runs to grab Ethan as he makes an advance towards Aiden and pulls him back. He looks over his shoulder and sees Braeden pointing to the back door. “Get him out of here!” She mouths, arms waving frantically.

Derek pushes a struggling Ethan towards the exit.

A burst of chilly wind meets them as they barge out the back door. Derek wasn’t that drunk before, but the cold night air is sobering nonetheless.  He reaches for his phone, considers calling a cab but is distracted when Ethan starts to walk away from the bar and he has to grab him and turn him in the right direction.

“I mean what gives him the right,” Ethan slurs out again.

It’s the seventh time he’s said it with no follow up, and Derek stopped trying to understand after the 3rd drunken mumble.

“I mean you know what I’m saying?” Ethan asks, swirling around to look at him intensely. He almost loses his balance and Derek reaches out to grab him around the waist to steady him.

“Whoa there. And yeah I get what you mean,” Derek says as he pulls him upright.

Ethan’s smile goes a little dopey then, and he leans his head against the side of Derek’s face. “I knew you would.”

“Right,” Derek says, ignoring his growing sense of bewilderment. Ethan’s starting to lean heavily on him. There is no way they are going to be able to finish the thirty minute walk like this Derek thinks as he fishes out his phone from his back pocket and types taxi service in the search bar.

Flickering lights catch his attention from his phone. When he looks up, a bright yellow car is pulling up slowly next to them.

“You kids need a ride,” the driver asks.

Derek eyes the logo of the taxi service on the side of the car and he lets out a long sigh of relief as he nods and maneuvers Ethan to one side while he opens the door.

In the short trip home, Ethan falls asleep,  his body still predominantly on Derek.

“Just past this stretch of trees,” Derek instructs to the driver. Ethan stirs a little, wrapping one arm tight around Derek’s middle. Derek stares down at him, confused and looks up as the car pulls to a stop.  Derek considers paying, but really this is Ethan’s fault. He reaches down to where Ethan’s pockets should be, and is met by the soft fabric of is costume tights.

“I hate this holiday, “Derek grumbles and fishes out a few bills from his wallet.

“But you get to feel me up,” Ethan laughs into his neck.

“Shut up, Robin Hood,” Derek says and the cabbie chuckles. Derek rolls his eyes and shoulders Ethan into a sitting position.

“Out,” he says and leans over to open the door.

Ethan stumbles out and slurs a ‘thanks’ to the driver who waves them off as Derek closes the door.

Derek uses the light from the retreating car to open the door and drags Ethan inside.

“Let’s get you a very large glass of water huh?” Derek says as Ethan kicks off his shoes wildly.

He makes it two steps towards the kitchen when hands wrap around his waist and he’s being turned back around.

“Or a largeee glass of you,” Ethan says, hot breath against his cheek.

“What—“

Ethan leans in abruptly and kisses him.  Derek freezes, shock making him stiff as Ethan pulls his body in closer.  He feels a tongue swipe out against his lip and he pulls back, snapping out of it. Ethan tries to follow, lips pursed.

“Ethan wait, stop!” Derek says and pulls the hands off of his waist. “Buddy you’re drunk, come on.”

“Noooo,” Ethan whines. “You’re so hot. Come on let me make you feel good.”

He starts to drop to his knees, and dear God what his happening he thinks as he starts to panic.

“Ethan, no!” Derek says and puts hands under his arms to pull Ethan back to a standing position.

Ethan’s eyes turn stormy and he takes a jerky step back away from Derek. He looks so young and vulnerable and scared in that moment.

“Fuck,” He says and covers his face with his hands. “Fuck!”

Derek puts a hand on his shoulder, “Hey it’s okay.”

Ethan flinches away. Derek sighs. Ethan’s shoulders start to shake.

“Why don’t you sit down and I get you a glass of water,” Derek says, not unkindly. Ethan pulls his hand away from his face, revealing a trail of wetness down his cheeks, and gives him a stilted nod and goes to sit on the couch.

Derek takes his time in the kitchen, giving Ethan a moment to himself.  When he comes back into the room with a glass of water and a few painkillers he finds Ethan staring very hard at the remote.

Derek moves closer to him and Ethan looks up at him with an expression so sad. He looks on the verge of tears. “I can’t figure it out,” He says softly.

Derek bites back a laugh and hands him the glass of water.

“Here, let’s trade,” Derek says and takes the remote then gives him the pain killers.

“Thanks,” Ethan murmurs and pops the pills into his mouth before drinking a large gulp of water.

Derek turns on the TV then switches to Hulu for some America’s Next Top Model.

They’re half way into an episode when the front door opens and everyone but Braeden and Erica walk through.

Aiden walks through without even looking there way, and a few seconds later a door slams down the hallway.

Meredith and Isaac hesitate around the entrance before they each offer an awkward goodnight and head down the hallway.

“You alright man,” Boyd asks putting a hand on Ethan’s shoulder.  He nods but doesn’t say anything, just stares ahead at the TV. “Alright. Well try and get some sleep yeah?”

“Where’s Erica?” Derek asks as Boyd heads towards the hall.

Boyd scratches the back of his neck and shrugs. “She said something about hanging back with Brae… I don’t know she was acting weird.”

“Yeah she looked upset when she was talking to Braeden, but—“

“What were they talking about?” Boyd asks suddenly.

“Um, I don’t know,” Derek says slowly. “That’s when they… that’s when me and Ethan left.”

Boyd nods and then walks off down the hallway.

“I should probably go to bed,” Ethan says and stands suddenly, almost losing his balance, drunk and unsteady. Derek puts a hand to his back to support him and walks down the hall.

They hover in front of Ethan’s room, unsure about going in.

“You can sleep in my room if you want.” Derek offers softly.  “Braeden probably won’t even be back tonight. I can just sleep in her bed.”

He has no way of knowing if that’s true, but the worst that could happen is that Braeden comes home and puts him on the floor.

Ethan agrees and they walk up the stairs and down the hall to the last room.

Inside Derek gives Ethan a shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, and then, as he watches him struggle out of his costume, goes to help him with said shirt and shorts.

“I’m sorry I’m a mess,” Ethan says, a bit muffled as Derek pulls a shirt over his head.

“You’re fine,” Derek says reaching behind him to pull back the blankets on his bed. “Lay down. Come on.”

Derek practically collapses into Braeden’s bed five minutes later, and is only just mindful enough to remove his shoes before he gets under her blankets.

He wakes up what feels like a few seconds later to the sound of Braeden swearing about her toe and something about shoes.

“I’m going to kill you,” She mumbles as she gets into bed behind Derek. For some reason, he finds this hilarious. Later he’ll blame it on sleep deprivation.

“You wouldn’t be the first to try it,” he says as his laughs subside.

There’s a long moment of silence and Derek starts to drift back off. Braeden puts an arm around him, her hand resting on his stomach. “I forgive you this time protégé.”

Derek hums and falls asleep with a smile on his face.

He wakes up again to Ethan swearing loudly.

“I swear to god, if he throws up in your bed, you are not claiming a permanent residence in this one,” Braeden says into Derek’s side.

Derek shoots up straight and looks down at Braeden, who has shifted down the bed in sleep, hair wild and smirk firm in place. He then looks over to Ethan sitting up in his bed looking an awful shade of green. He pulls back the blanket and jumps over Braeden to get Ethan out of his bed. Because, no not today.

They make it to the bathroom in time but Derek leaves him to it, apparently his friendships have its limits.

Back in their room, Braeden’s turned back on her side asleep. He takes the opportunity to change his clothes.

Downstairs, Aiden and Isaac seem to be in their own stages of hangover induced self-loathing, and Erica is looking all too delighted by the development.

“How’s Ethan,” Boyd asks giving Derek a cup of coffee.

“He could be better,” He says as he sits down next to Meredith, who has her headphones in and is drawing a very detailed portrait of that guy from that Star Trek movie. Something Cucumberwich Derek thinks. “Somebody should go and check to make sure he doesn’t drown in the toilet though.”

“I’m on it!” Erica says and jumps up from her chair.

“Ugh, so cheery. I’ve never hated someone more in my life,” Isaac says as he watches her bound off out of the kitchen. “Everyone needs to be as miserable as me.”

“No one told you three to get hammered,” Boyd says.

“That’s what you do in college,” Aiden says, offended.

Boyd and Derek share a “this idiot” look, one they use too often, and then Boyd looks back to Aiden. “Why were you two fighting anyway?”

Aiden stares at him for a long moment and stands up and heads out of the kitchen without a glance back.

“Seems about right,” Isaac says and then looks at Derek.  What happen when you two left? Aiden wouldn’t tell us anything”

“Uhh,” Derek says and then takes a long sip of his coffee. His mind is suddenly assaulted with images of the night before. “Nothing. We walked for a bit then a taxi picked us up. We just came and crashed here. Nothing unusual. Nothing at all.”

They both eye him with twin looks of suspicion. “What I swear nothing weird happened.”

“Unless you count Derek being the little spoon for me,” Braeden says coming into the room dressed in a pair of sweats.

Derek glares at her. “Your hair looks like a birds nest.”

She grins and takes his mug of coffee and goes to refill it. He’s about to thank her when she sits down next to him and drinks it herself. He rolls his eyes and then looks back at Boyd and Isaac who are looking at him strangely.

“What?” Derek asks.

“You two slept together?” Isaac asks.

“Yes,” Braeden says as Derek says, “No.”

They look at each other and Braeden smirks at him, lifting an eyebrow.

“Okay, fine yes. Technically. But only because Ethan was in my bed,” Derek explains. “I thought she’d kick me out of her bed when she got in.”

“Yeah right, like any woman would do that,” Meredith says not even looking up from her drawing.

Isaac leans over and pulls at one of her earphones. “Are you even listening to anything?”

She nods and continues drawing but doesn’t offer anything after that.

Boyd just shakes his head and continues. “So you sleep in her bed and then you cuddled.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Braeden!”

“Derek?”

Derek reaches over and grabs his mug of coffee back from her. “I hate you guys,” He says and walks out.

“That’s the spirit,” Isaac calls from the kitchen.

+

Over the next few days, there’s a tense air that hovers around the twins. Derek and Ethan haven’t talked about the night of the costume party. Derek definitely isn’t going to bring it up, and Ethan seems reluctant to talk to him at all.

Braeden also seems to be acting weird around him since that night. She keeps giving him these odd looks and then smiles when he catches her. Not her usual smirk but a real smile. It’s freaking him out.

The town seems to shut down in November. Fewer shops are open and transportation runs less.

The house piles up in Boyd’s station wagon and fills four baskets up with food. When they get to the check out counter to pay, the cashier laughs at them and makes a joke about hibernating. She’s not exactly wrong.

With less business to cater to, Braeden has fewer shifts between her many jobs and Derek comes from his class more and more to find her lounging around. It’s all very weird.

School keeps them fairly busy, as their labs are more intensive during the winter seasons. Derek’s work-study picks up and he starts to come home later than usual.

“You look like a zombie,” Braeden says as he sits down on his bed. It’s been a long day for him.

“I feel like a zombie,” Derek mutters and collapses back on his bed. He can feel the bed dip a little as she sits down next to him.

“Well Halloween was three weeks ago,” Braeden says and ruffles his hair. “So look alive protégé.”

Derek grunts in response.

There’s a knock on their door several minutes later and he groans. Braeden laughs softly and as she gets up to answer the door.

“Hey,” Isaac says. “We’re about to have some dinner and talk about next week.”

“Oh umm,” Braeden says. “Derek’s asleep and …” her next words trail off as she closes the door behind her.

Derek sighs and turns over onto his pillow and lets the day wash away in sleep.

He wakes up later to a still empty room.  A quick look to his bedside table tells him he was only asleep for a few hours.

He sits up slowly and lets his stomach lead him to the kitchen. When he passes the common room Erica and Boyd are watching TV.

He pauses for a second to watch the movie but leaves when a woman on screen starts pooping in a sink.

Braeden is sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop. She looks up when Derek walks in.

“Hey,” She says and then points to the stove. “Isaac and Erica made spaghetti.”

Derek sits down at the table next to her after he grabs a bowl. “What are you working on?”

“Paper for Bio,” She says and scrunches her face up as she types something out. Derek can’t help but smile.

“Want me to read over it?”

She scoffs, “I don’t need your help protégé.”

He smirks. “If you say so.”

“Mmm,” She says and continues to type. “You aren’t going home next week are you?”

Derek looks at her blankly, a little thrown by the change in topic, and a lot put off by it.

“No,” he says gruffly.

She looks up from her laptop and opens her mouth to say something.

“Why do you ask,” Derek cuts in.

She bites her lips but he can see her drop the matter and she looks back down to his screen.

“Erica’s mom is freaking out because she doesn’t want to come home for Thanksgiving, so her mom invited us to come. The twins are waiting on their parents say so but we’re all probably going to go.”

“Sounds fun,” Derek says, although the thought of spending a holiday at someone else’s house is starting to make him a bit nauseous. “I think I’ll pass though.”

Braeden looks at him over her laptop. “I’m not in the best mood around holidays.”

He’s assuming, this is the first on without family, but he doesn’t have to think to hard about it.

“You don’t want to spend it with family—“

“What family!” Derek snaps.

“Me and Boyd and Erica!” She snaps back. “Isaac! Hell even the twins.”

“I don’t need—“

“Derek I’m not saying that you need anything, but you shouldn’t be alone during the holidays.”

Derek stands and dumps is bowl in the sink. “Just getting in practice for the rest of my life.”

“Derek wait,” Braeden calls from the kitchen.

“What’s going on,” Erica calls from the couch.

Derek doesn’t say anything; he just steps into his shoes left by the door and grabs a jacket. He’s out in the cold air before any of them can stop him.

Derek walks, no destination in site. He just walks and lets his numb legs carry him away.

The bark of a dog startles him out of his brooding and he turns to see a dog barreling towards him.

He considers his option, he could run or he could… not freak out because it is definitely more interested in the tree five feet away from Derek.

Derek sighs in relief that immediately turns to panic again when someone calls his name.

Derek looks around for the source and irrationally stares at the dog for a brief second.

“What are you doing out so late?”

“Deaton?”

Derek sees him then coming closer with a leash in his hands.

“What are you doing out so late?” Deaton repeats as he leans down to put a leash on the dog.

“Oh uh,” Derek says. “I just needed some air.”

“I see.” Deaton nods but gives him a curious look. “Well me and Kana are about to go for a little walk around the trail if you’d like to join us.”

Derek hesitates for a second and looks from Deaton, to his dog, and then at the patch of forest visible.

“Um sure,” He says and follows behind Deaton as he starts to walk.

The seconds tick on in silence as they walk. The dim lighting from the scarcely placed lampposts along the trail is there only means of seeing in the darkness.

“I spoke to your old teacher, Mr. Malik not too long ago.” Deaton says as they stop and let Kana sniff around a patch of grass.

“He was very happy to hear how good you were doing in your studies,” Deaton continues.

“Mr. Malik was a great teacher,” Derek says, unsure of what else to say. “ He actually helped me get enrolled here. Nice of him to … uh… check in on me.”

Deaton huffs out a laugh. “He’s very fond of you Derek. You’ll always have a mentor in him.”

They walk a few more feet and have to stop again.

“He asked how you were doing socially as well,” Deaton says and turns t look at Derek. “I told him I couldn’t be sure, but you seemed to be doing well with your housemates.”

“Yeah they’re great,” Derek says and he hopes it comes out sincere. Deaton continues to look at him though and Derek finds himself wanting to look away. “They are, some days it’s just a bit much. A bit too like….”

“Home? Family?”

Derek doesn’t say anything. They walk on.

“Leonard, Mr. Malik that is, obviously talked to me about your situation Derek, and I must say I am amazed by your strength. I would not be able to endure as you have.”

“I’m not strong,” Derek says and stops to look at him. “I’m a coward. I ran away. I left behind my sisters all because I felt guilty, because it’s all my fault..”

Derek’s breaths start to pick up speed.

“I don’t think what you did was cowardly Derek,” Deaton says. He puts a hand on Derek’s shoulder and squeezes it softly. “I obviously never met your parents, but think about what they would want for you Derek.”

“They wouldn’t want me to abandon my –“

“They’d want you to be happy, Derek,” Deaton cuts in. “That’s all any parent wants for their children.”

Derek can feel the sting and prickle of tears starting to form and he shakes his head. “We all heal in different ways,” Deaton continues. “Think about what you’ve learned in your classes, about the animals the retreat and hide to give themselves time to recover from their wounds. After all, we’re not really that different.“

They stand there in silence for a bit until Kana starts barking and pulling against her leash towards the way they’d just come.

“Oh my god! If I get attacked by something I’m going to kill you Isaac!”

“Oh relax. Maybe we can be scar twins.”

Derek sighs and rubs his hand over his face because he knows that voice.

Sure enough a few seconds later Braeden, Isaac and Aiden lean past the thick of trees.

“Oh its just a dog,” Aiden says and then they all step out fully from the path.

“What else could it have possibly been?” Derek asks.

“Hey, you don’t take chances with the woods man,” Aiden says.

“Whatever, what are you guys doing out here.”

“They led us here,” Meredith says as she examines a tree nearby.

“We came to look for you,” Boyd says cutting off Ethan who looks like he was about to address Meredith.

“Yeah you just kind of took off,” Erica says. “We were worried.”

“And you left your phone so no one could call you,” Ethan says.

“Well Derek,” Deaton says, making them all turn to look at him. “It seems me and Kana have taken up enough of your time. I will see you after the holiday. Good night everyone.”

There’s a chorus of good nights from the group as Deaton turns to leave.

Derek watches him leave and once he’s out of sight he turns back to his housemates and sighs. “ You guys didn’t have to follow me, you know.”

“We weren’t but Braeden was having a meltdown--- Ow what the hell!” Aiden says.

“All right, we found him… lets go, I’m cold,” Braeden says and turns to walk from the way they came.

Boyd lags be hind to walk next to Derek. “You alright man?”

“Yeah, just… holidays.”

Boyd nods and pats his shoulder.

It had felt like he’d been walking around for at least an hour before he had stumbled into Deaton. The walk back to the house takes almost no time.

His housemates keep up a constant stream of conversation, that he doesn’t even pretend to try and follow, and more than once he looks towards the front of the pack to find Braeden’s eyes on him.

Back in the house they kind of just go back to whatever, like they didn’t just have to interrupt their night to form and impromptu search party on his behalf.

“You need to talk some?” Boyd asks as he pauses in the doorway. 

Derek shakes his head. “I’m good man.”

Boyd nods and goes inside his room. 

Braeden is sitting on his bed when Derek comes in. He sighs and is about to repeat that he’s fine and doesn’t need to talk about anything.

“I didn’t mean to … we don’t have to talk about it,” She says. “ Yet.”

Derek sighs, but he sits down next to her and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you okay,” She asks quietly.

Derek laughs, a short bitter bark, because he is so far from okay. He looks up at her and shakes his head.

“You will be,” She says and wraps her arms around him and squeezes tightly. 

He huffs out another laugh and maneuvers out of her grip to lay down on his bed. He feels exhausted all of a sudden.

Braeden lays down next to him. He turns on his side and they just stare at each other for a while.

“I want you to trust me,” She says softly.

“I don’t trust anyone,” he says. “ Not really.”

“Yet,” She says and smirks before she sits up and stands. Derek can’t help but track her movements as she gets settled on her side of the room.  He falls asleep before she’s even in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Malik is a character that I created in the original draft of this story. Derek goes to him shortly after the house fire, when Cora is still in the hospital, and he acts as a sort of mentor and guides Derek though enrolling in COA. I was very fond of him but it didn't really fit with the story.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days pass in contentment.  No one brings up Derek taking off, and he thinks he might have gotten away with it. That is until everyone but Braeden and the twins load their luggage into the back of Boyd’s Station Wagon.

“You’re not all going?” Derek asks.

“Nah, I changed my mind. I have a lot of school work to catch up on,” Braeden says and shrugs.

“Uh huh,” Derek says, not believing her for one second.  He looks at Ethan and Aiden. “And I thought you two were going home?”

“Oh we are. But we’re flying out Wednesday,” Ethan says as he closes the car’s back door behind Boyd.

“I think that’s it,” Boyd says and pats Derek on the shoulder and then holds out a fist for Braeden to punch. “Have a good holiday you guys”, he says before turning to give Ethan and Aiden goodbye bro-hugs.

“I’ll bring you back some food!” Erica says as she wraps her arms around Derek and Braeden, pulling them into a tight hug.  She swats his head when Derek tries to squirm out of it.

The rest of them wave as they pile into the car, and when it drives off, Derek turns to look at Braeden. He crosses his arms and stares down at her. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

She scoffs. “Not everything is about you, protégé.”

She turns to go back inside the house and he follows behind her.

“I don’t believe you.”

“What are you, eight?”

“Braeden.”

“Derek! Why does it matter that I stayed! Ethan and Aiden stayed too!” She says, turning to face him. She runs her hands through her hair. “Look just because we’re here doesn’t mean we’re going to force you to have feelings or even talk at all. If you want to brood and mope around for the next five days by all means have fun with that.”

Braeden stalks down the hallway before Derek can get another word in. He stands there silent and a bit on edge.  

“Burn,” Aiden says. Derek turns to glare at him. 

Aiden raises his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just saying.”

Ethan closes the front door with a heavy sigh. When Derek looks over, his brows are creased in a tight line, and he’s biting his thumbnail anxiously. Derek softens, “You okay?”

Ethan looks a little startled, and then nods jerkily. “Yeah,” He says and rubs his hand on the back of his neck.  He looks between his brother and Derek and then averts his eyes quickly. “I’m gonna go finish packing,” he mumbles.

Derek waits until he can hear the door close for Ethan’s bedroom before turning to Aiden.

“What’s going on with you and Braeden,” Aiden says as Derek says. “What’s wrong with Ethan?”

Aiden grins and then crosses his arms. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

Derek ignores him and stalks past him to his room, where Braeden is studiously ignoring him with her ear buds in and a textbook open in her lap.  He lets his eyes linger on the tense hunch of her shoulders, and he starts to feel little badly about jumping to conclusions. He just can’t shake the feeling that she has something planned.

He was right.

The next morning Derek walks in on Braeden frantically writing down something on the back of a paper towel next to the largest turkey he’s ever seen.

“Right… right,” she says and nods her head.  Derek looks around at the clutter of things.

“When did you even go and get this stuff?” Derek asks.

“I do what with my hand?” She freezes and then looks at the frozen bird to her left. “What the hell is a giblet and why do I have to pull it out?” She asks. “Gramps, ew no!” She exclaims looking at the bird in horror, “Can’t I buy a turkey without that?”

“Braeden,” Derek says. She looks up startled for a second and then waves him over.

“Gramps how do I do it again?” She says squinting down at her notes. She pauses and tilts the phone away from her mouth and says to Derek. “How do you feel about fisting?”

Derek’s mouth falls open as he gapes at her and Aiden, who he hadn’t seen sitting at the kitchen table spits out his coffee. Derek turns to glare at him then back to Braeden.

“What, Gramps no I was talking to my roommate, Derek,” Braeden says rolling her eyes. She laughs and then looks back to Derek. “I should have said the bird, yes I know, but the look on his face is priceless.”

Derek scoffs and moves her out of the way to look down at the notes he can barely read on the napkin.

“We do have paper, you know,” He says and then points at the bird. “And why the hell do you have a huge turkey.”

Braeden pushes him to the side in order to write something else down on the paper. She nods and hums as she scribbles down notes and instructions. Derek looks around the kitchen at all of the other odd and out of place things; a sack of potatoes, and a bowl of what looks like even larger potatoes, and a tower of various canned goods.

Aiden comes over to get a napkin to clean up his spill and reaches for one of the already torn ones. Braeden grabs his wrist and twists it.

“Don’t you dare,” she says and takes the napkin covered in notes out of his hand.

He pokes her hard in the ribs and she lets go with a grunt and then resumes writing something down.

“Braeden, how many people are you cooking for?” Derek asks, bewildered at everything that just happened.

Braeden holds up her hand in a hold-on gesture and walks over to count the gigantic potatoes. “Seven,” she says and then walks back over to the list to write something down. Shortly after she reaches over and rips off another paper towel and starts to write on that.

“And what are these giant potatoes,” Derek says pointing to the bowl.

“How are you a genius and not know what a sweet potato looks like?” Aiden asks.

Derek rolls his eyes and maneuvers around her to get to the coffee maker, Braeden’s muttering becoming a distant hum as he works.

A few minutes later Derek tunes back in, enjoying the first sip of his coffee.

“Ok cool, thanks gramps,” Braeden says glancing around at all of the food. “Should be pretty easy as long as I follow every single one of your instructions.”

She laughs and nods her head as her grandfather talks on the other end.  She holds the phone between her shoulder and head and turns towards Derek.

“I know,” She says and smiles a little sadly. “I miss you too, but I just uhh..” She looks up at Derek as she reaches past him to get a mug from the cabinet next to him.

“I had some school projects that I’ve fallen behind on,” She says and then pours herself a cup of coffee. “But I’ll be home for Christmas.”

She pauses for a second and smiles into the phone. Derek can hear a low voice singing on the other end and he frowns a little bit.

“I’ll tell you how everything goes, gramps,” She says and then looks back at Derek, “Protégé says hi… alright, love you too.”

She hangs up and sets her phone on the counter.

“You didn’t tell him I said hi,” Aiden says, watching Braeden and Derek from the table. They both ignore him.

Derek looks at her expectantly and she frowns. “What?”

“What?” He points around at the kitchen, “Are there another 20 people coming to our house in the next day that I don’t know about?”

Braeden rolls her eyes and collects the piece of papers that she’s written her notes on.

“This is how much food we always buy,” she shrugs before taking a long sip from her mug.

“For you and your grandfather,” Derek asks skeptically.

“No,” Braeden says and then looks thoughtfully around the kitchen, “He generally cooks food to take to his Church…”

She trails off and bites her lip and then shrugs, “ Whatever!  Aiden and Ethan are here.”

“They are leaving in an hour.”

“More like 30 minutes, just waiting on Ethan to stop having a teen crisis,” Aiden says.

“Thanksgiving leftovers are the best,” Braeden counters.

“So what, do we plan on eating this turkey for three weeks?”

“Chill, Protégé,” Braeden says, patting his shoulder as she walks past him, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“The house could explode in a fiery inferno,” Aiden says blandly as he scrolls down in his phone.

Derek turns to him, floored, and slams his mug down on the counter. “That’s not fucking funny.”

The room is silent all for the steady drip-drop of liquid hitting the floor. He looks down at his coffee cup and sees it’s cracked open on the counter.

He moves to get a napkin to wipe it up but Braeden puts a hand in front of him to stop him. “I got it,” She says softly.

“I can—“

“Just go and cool off somewhere, okay,” She says and pushes him out of the way.

“Whatever,” Derek grumbles and walks out of the kitchen.

“What the fuck was that about,” He hears Aiden say as he walks into the hallway and he picks up his speed to avoid hearing any speculations. His head is starting to hurt and he really just wants to lie down.

As he passes the twins’ room he sees Ethan pacing around the room and stops. He knocks gently on the door to get Ethan’s attention.

“You need some help packing?” He asks.

Ethan shakes his head and looks around his room. “I think I’m done.” He says. And Derek wants to ignore the tremble in his voice.

“You okay?”

Ethan stops pacing and just stares down into his suitcase.

“Yeah I’m fine,” He says so quietly that Derek can hardly hear him.

“Ethan,” Derek starts but Ethan shakes his head and leans down to zip up his bag.

“Derek, I’m fine.” He says and picks up his bag, slinging the strap over one shoulder. He smiles brightly, a stark contrast to the panic that was there before, and walks past Derek out the door. “Aiden come on! Our cab is gonna be here soon!”

Derek watches him walk down the hall and disappear into the kitchen. As he starts on the stairs he can hear the three of them burst into a chorus of laughter, and he suddenly feels so alone.

+

Derek wakes up with a textbook on his face. He hadn’t even realized that he’d fallen asleep. But once he peels back the page sticking to his cheek he looks at the clock to find he’d slept for several hours.

He puts his book down and turns on his side to go back to bed when his stomach grumbles loudly. He sighs heavily and sits up with some effort. 

As he makes his way down stairs he can hear people talking and stops in surprise when he sees Aiden and Braeden playing video games in the common area.

“How can you be this good at a game you’ve never played,” Aiden complains, shaking his controller in an attempt to make his character fight better.

“Some of us just have mad skills bro,” Braeden laughs and presses a few more buttons that make her character get a better advantage over Aiden’s.

“I’m trying to decide whether or not to tell him that me and Braeden play this all the time,” Ethan says quietly next to Derek.  Derek looks at him confused. He has an amused look on his face as he watch the pair play the game.

In the kitchen, the microwave bings and Ethan turns to retrieve his food. Derek follows him and leans against the counter, avoiding the bowls of now cut vegetables. “What are you guys still doing here,” Derek asks

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!” Aiden shouts from the next room.

Ethan smirks and pulls out a bag of popcorn from the microwave. “Our flight got cancelled because of the poor weather back home,” He says as he opens the bag and pours.

“You seem … happier.”

Ethan freezes, and then shrugs and shakes out the remaining few kernels. “Do I? I don’t know,” he says not looking up from his task. “It’s just stressful going home sometimes. You know.”

Derek nods and looks away. “Yeah, I know.”

“Want some.”

Derek looks back to the extended bowl of popcorn and shakes his head.

“No, I’m not that hungry,” He lies and walks with Ethan out into the common area. Ethan laughs and points at Aiden, who is sulking on the chair next to the system.

“Ready to take on a champion,” Braden asks waving the controller around.

Ethan shakes his head, “Oh no, I know my limits.”

“Rematch then,” Aiden says, perking up.

“How about we just watch a movie instead,” Ethan suggests, smirking.

“Yeah!” Braeden says excitedly and then hands the controller to Aiden. “You can even pick.”

“I don’t need your pity,” He says. She shrugs and switches over to the Netflix app. Then Aiden reaches over and grabs the controller from her.

“That’s what I thought,” She says and stands. She meets Derek’s eye and nods her head towards the kitchen.

He follows behind her and sits at the table while she walks around the kitchen gathering different ingredients for something.

Derek kind of zones-out watching her. His eyes settle on her scar when she pulls a strand of hair behind her ear, making it more visible.

She looks over his shoulder at him and smirks.

“What are you looking at?” She asks waving a butter knife in the air. Derek snaps out of it and looks away quickly.

“What? No.” He says and then coughs to clear his throat.

Braeden laughs and then comes over to the table with a large sandwich cut in half.

She takes a bite and just stares at him, as she chews slowly.

“What?” He asks after a long moment of them looking at each other.

She picks up the other half of the sandwich and gives it to him.

“Eat.”

Derek takes it from her and looks at it skeptically.

“Don’t be a baby just eat it,” Braeden says through a mouthful of another bite.

Derek bites into it slowly. It tastes like heaven after not eating all day. He sighs and ignores the pleased look on Braeden’s face. They sit in silence while they eat, and when they’re done Derek gets up to clean off the plate.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened earlier,” Derek asks as he dries the plate off.

“No.”

He turns to look at her, surprised.

“Why not?”

“Because,” She says and shrugs, “I can wait.”

Derek hears and echo of _I want you to trust me_ and nods slowly.

+

The next morning Braeden wakes them up ridiculously early and forces them down into the kitchen.

She hands them all a cup of coffee and then immediately starts rambling off instructions for helping with thanksgiving dinner.

“Wait a minute,” Derek says, still groggy from being woken up before his alarm. “Why do we have to help with this? You’re the one who bought all this food.”

Braeden glares at him and points at the counter.  “I made you dinner last night, you can at least chop up some damn carrots, Derek.”

“You gave me half of the sandwich you made for yourself,” Derek mutters into a mug of coffee.

“Wait, we all ate left over pasta last night and you made him a sandwich?” Aiden says, a smile growing on his face.

“I made myself a sandwich,” Braeden starts.

“You seemed pretty full to me, “ Aiden says and shrugs.

Braeden throws the peppershaker at him “ Can we all just get to work.”

Aiden laughs and nudges Derek in the side as he walks past him out of the kitchen.

“What was that about,” Derek asks.

“Nothing,” Braeden says quickly and then points down at the carrots. “Chop chop!”

Once Derek starts to wake up a little bit, basically after his third cup of coffee, the whole ordeal is oddly pleasant. He, Braeden, Ethan, and occasionally Aiden stand around and share jokes and stories, some about their hometowns and friends others just about random things they saw on the Internet. Braeden talks about her family, and Derek is jealous of the ease in which she talks about her mom. He wishes it were that easy for him; he misses his parents so much sometimes.

“Hey you okay?”

Derek looks up at Ethan, who is frowning at him.

“You just sort of zoned out.”

Derek looks over towards Braeden who is bent over to check the turkey in the oven. He nods and looks back to Ethan.

“Yeah I’m fine, thanks man.”

Once most of the sides have been cooked and a sweet potato pie has been prep for baking, they all pile into the common area to watch America’s Next Top Model for a while until the timer rings out.

Braeden jumps up excitedly. “Turkey time!”

“Thank god,” Aiden groans. “I’m starving.”

“Good, than you should have no problem setting the table,” Derek says. A little annoyed with him.

“Okay, _Dad,_ ” Aiden says and walks behind Braeden into the kitchen.

Derek shakes his head and receives a pat on the back from Ethan. “I’ll make sure he does it.”

After the table is set with all the plates and side dishes, Braeden comes out with the very large turkey and carving knives.

She cuts them all off pieces of turkey and then sits as everyone starts to pass around side dishes.

“Oh wait!” She says and stands to get some glasses and then a bottle from the cabinet. “Forgot I got this. Here.” She says and hands the glasses to Derek. He sighs and stand to pass them out as she opens the bottle of wine.

“Aren’t they the perfect hosts.” Aiden says and Derek sits his close to the edge making him frantically reach for it before it falls off.

“Alright glasses up,” She says and pours them all a generous serving.  She leaves her glass in the air as she sits down and looks around at all of them.

“I know I kind of forced you guys into doing this with me, but it means a lot to me that you all … well that most of your help,” She says shooting Aiden a dirty look.

“Moral support is helping,” Aiden says lightly.

“Anyway, “ She says over him. “I am very thankful for my family away from home. Cheers.”

“Cheers,” the twins say loudly and clink their glasses with Braeden.

“Cheers,” Derek says and takes a sip of his drink.  He looks over the table and catches Braeden’s eye as she laughs at one of Ethan’s jokes. And warmth spreads through his chest that has nothing to do with the wine.

“Alright lets eat!” Aiden says and picks up his fork. “Lets try out this bird.”

They all follow suit and then seconds later they are all spitting bits of mangled turkey back onto their plates.

“Oh god,” Ethan says wiping his mouth.

“That tastes like burnt plastic,” Aiden says before he guzzles down half of his glass of wine.

Braeden looks at the seemingly perfect bird in front of her and then picks up the knife and stabs forcefully through the center of the turkey.

The three of them jump back in surprise and watch as Braeden jaggedly opens up the bird.

After a few long moments of them watching her, she frowns and then pulls the bird open a little with her hands.

“Ethan!” She glares at him. “ You were on stuffing duty!”

“Yeah,” he says slowly.

“Then why are the giblets still in here!”

“What the hell is a giblet?” Ethan asks.

“You were in the kitchen when—“

“Nope, that was me.” Aiden cuts in.

“What did you think I meant when I said you were in charge of fisting the bird.”

“No one look at his browser history,” Aiden says.

“Shut up!” Ethan snaps. “I thought you were joking!”

“Ugh,” She says and sits back down with a heavy sigh.

There is silence after that. It’s broken by the ding on the oven timer.

Aiden gets up and shrugs, “Whelp, at least there’s pie.”

+

Later when all of the side dishes have been put away, or covered for storing, Derek is finishing his part of the cleaning duty by drying off all the dishes.

When the three of the guys volunteered to clean everything up to make Braeden feel better, he immediately volunteered for dish drying duty, and regretted it almost as soon. It was always his responsibility back in Beacon Hills. Laura would put away the food, Cora would wash, and Derek because he was the tallest would put away the dishes. He kept expecting his mom to come in at any moment and scold him for his half-assed drying.

“You’re not done yet?”

Derek almost dropped the plate he was putting up.

“Jesus, Braeden,” He says catching it and sitting it on the counter.

“Sorry,” she says, sounding everything but. She walks in and leans next to him against the sink.

They are silent for a long while as he finishes drying the dishes.  Every once in a while he’ll look down at her and notice her staring at the still uneaten turkey that she wouldn’t let them throw out.

“Everything else was really good,” Derek tries. “Whoever cut those carrots … Man, A plus.”

“Fucking giblets,” She says finally.

Derek sighs and sits down the pan he was drying off and watches her as she walks towards the exit of the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” He says. He’s about to go after her when she comes back in with her jacket on and tosses his towards him. 

“Here, put that on,” she says and picks up the pan with the turkey on it and walks back out into the hallway. “Get the door.”

“What are you doing?” Derek asks as he struggles with one of the sleeves of his jacket.

“Just open the door, hurry,” she snaps.

“No one told you to buy that big of –“

“Derek!”

Derek opens the door and she hurries out into the cold night air. He’s about to ask her again what’s going on when Braeden takes the turkey and flings it out of the pan into the yard.

“Screw you turkey!” Braeden shouts, as Derek stands frozen to the spot.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asks, bewildered.

She walks over to it and takes the pan and starts to hit it, each time shouting something different at it.

“You take too long to cook!”

“You’re ugly!”

“What.”

“The.”

“Fuck.”

“Is a.”

“Giblet.”

“Anyway.”

Braeden steps away from the mess of a turkey breathing a little heavy, her messy bun drooping awkwardly to the side of her head.  She turns to him and smiles as she holds out the pan. “Your turn.”

Derek stares at her.

“What?”

She sighs and comes over to him and drags him by the sleeve in front of the turkey then thrust the pan back at him. “Go ahead.”

“What am I suppose to do?” Derek asks takes hold of the pan. “I’m not the one with the personal vendetta against turkey organs.”

She glares at him for a second then looks back to the turkey.

“This turkey stressed me out today, everything about it. So I took everything I didn’t like about it and let it rip,” She says and points to him, “Now it’s you’re turn.”

“It was gross but I don’t hate the turkey—“

“Oh my god,” She says and grabs the pan from him and bends down to hit the turkey again. “I miss my Grandpa!”

Smack, “I hate not working.”

Smack, “I wish Derek would stop thinking so much.”

Smack. “And hit the goddamn bird!”

She hands over the pan to him, “ Come on.” She squeezes his arm and smiles. “Anything you need to let go.”

Derek looks down at the bird and sighs.  He lifts the pan and then stops.

“This is so dumb.”

“Derek!”

He brings it down in a hard swing.

“I wish you would stop sometimes!” he blurts out.  He looks at her quickly and she has her arms crossed but she’s smiling and has one brow cocked.

“Okay,” she says and nods. “Go again.”

Derek turns back to the bird and picks the pan up and swings it down again. “I hate Thanksgiving!”

Smack. “I miss basketball!”

Smack. “I miss my—“”

He stops himself. He can’t bring himself to say any of the things threatening to come out. He quickly stands and throws the pan at the mashed in turkey carcass.

“I hate drying the dishes.”

He turns to look at Braeden who is smiling at him.

“See don’t you feel better?”

“No,” he says but he can’t help but smile down at her. She laughs and puts an arm around his waist and leads him back into the house.

The next morning as Derek is heading to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, he is stopped by a knock on the front door.

He sighs and groggily musters up the strength to deal with another human and he opens the door. He’s shocked to find Deaton on the other side.

“Professor,” Derek says after a long pause. Deaton smiles and nods at him.

“Good Morning to you, I hope you and your roommates had a festive Thanksgiving,” He says.

Derek shrugs and scratches his head. Mornings are not his friend.

“Uh, yeah I guess.”

“Wonderful, then maybe you can explain the mangled Turkey bit strewed across your front lawn,” Deaton says and steps aside to gesture at the heaping mess. It hadn’t seen like such a disaster last night.

“Umm,” Derek starts and then stops because his voice his doing this weird high pitched thing. “I don’t know?”

“Are you asking me?”

“No?”

“Derek.”

“Sir?”

“Make sure it’s cleaned up today.”

“Yes sir.”

Deaton smiles and leans in to pat Derek’s shoulder. “I’ll see you in a few days Derek. Enjoy the rest of your break.”

Derek watches him disappear into the path and then closes the door. When he turns back Braeden is holding out a cup for him and smiling apologetically.

“How long do you think before he revokes your protégé card?”

“Shut up,” he grumbles and takes the coffee from her. She starts to laugh and wanders off to sit down in the common area.

He walks upstairs and closes the door once he’s inside and tries to be annoyed, but he can sill hear an echo of her laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! For some reason this scene was incredibly hard to write. I think it has something to do with my strong dislike for Thanksgiving (I know. Could I be anymore Chandler Bing.) It was actually suppose to be at the end of the last chapter, which is why its so short.
> 
> I hope you like it anyway.
> 
> The next chapter should be coming much sooner since I have the week off. And I have most of it already written.  
> (but maybe not since I'm also looking for jobs this week. ew.) 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts. Your comments always give me an extra boost. I can't thank you guys enough. <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to warn you guys that this is an emotional chapter. It deals with mentions of familial death. This is also a pretty long chapter almost 13,000 words, but hopefully it has a good balance of light and heavy. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Tell me again!” Erica says laughing hard. Her mug of tea waivers dangerously when she sits it down in haste, making Derek reach over and pull the textbook in front of her out of harms way.  

“Which part?” Aiden asks, biting into a sandwich made of an impressive amount of leftovers brought back from Erica’s Mom’s house. “The part when he went all hulk on the coffee cup, or the part when Braeden went all ninja on the turkey?”

“You weren’t even there for that?” Derek says, willing himself not to look up from his notes. He can feel his face heating up, bordering on a dangerous shade of red that they would definitely mock him for. He’s not up for it.

“Well I wouldn’t dare barge in on you and Braeden’s bonding time, “Aiden says.

Derek looks up then, teasing be damned. “What are you talking about?”

“Braeden would kill you,” Ethan says as he read something over Isaac’s shoulder.

“That’s too easy, she’d make him suffer,” Isaac says, not taking is attention away from the tablet he’s holding up.

“Maybe she’ll hack into his Tinder,” Erica teases.

“Nah, she’d go for the knee caps,” Boyd says and mimics swinging a bat.

“Complete evisceration,” Meredith says as she tries to balance some fruit on top of each other. The group looks at her for a second and then Derek laughs and looks back at his notes.

“That’s the winner.”

“Anyway,” Aiden says. “Ethan and I were watching from the windows. “

“Watching what?”

Everyone looks around to see Braeden walk in from the hallway.

Erica chokes on a laugh and spits tea into her cup. Meredith absently pats her back. Boyd and Isaac trade smirks and Ethan crosses his arms leaning back from Isaac’s shoulder and grins widely. “Yeah Aiden, watching what?” he says.

Derek rolls his eyes and turns to face Braeden, “What are you doing home?”

“Shift got cut,” She says distractedly as she pulls out her phone and gets close to Meredith to snap a picture of her fruit stacking. She smiles down at the review and then pockets it. “Yeah it was dead in there so...” she shrugs and looks back to the group. “What were you guys talking about?”

“Umm,” Aiden starts and then points to Ethan,” Ethan was..”

“That’s okay,” Braeden says and waves him off.

“But you didn’t even hear me out.”

“I cannot hear another elaborate story about fisting, Aiden,” Braeden says. She leans her hip against the table next to Derek and looks down at his notes, interest peaking. He follows her gaze, oddly self-conscious now.

“Excuse me?” Boyd says as Ethan laughs hard into the crook of his elbow.

“I don’t know, something her and Derek are in to,” Aiden says. Braeden shifts her gaze back to Aiden and lifts one eyebrow. Aiden gets up quickly from the table. “I’m gonna go study in my room.”

“Good idea,” Derek says, smirk playing at his lips as he watches Aiden run away. He turns his attention back to Braeden and nudges her leg with his knee. Then he points down at his notes and gives her a go ahead nodding gesture.  Braeden smiles and Derek’s body tenses for a moment and then relaxes as she shrugs, playing it off.

“Just seeing how different they were from mine. I’ll let you borrow mine before finals, don’t worry,” She says and then smiles at him again. He scoffs and then closes his notebook.

“I’m good I think,” Derek says. He looks from his notes back up to Braeden. He can see her holding back a laugh and he rolls his eyes, the familiar frustration he gets when she’s about to say something sarcastic. He sighs,  “What?”

“Oh you know,” Braeden says and walks over to the pantry. She reaches in and grabs a bag of chips then opens them as she walks over to the fridge and gets a container of dip, “ Just thought I could teach you some things.”

“Teach me so—,” Derek starts. “Like what?”

“Oh you know,” Braeden says again loftily and then laughs as she walks out the kitchen.

Derek stares at the entryway of the kitchen, half-hoping that she’s coming back. His hand makes a fist around the pen he’s holding and he lets out a long sigh when he hears her footsteps on the stairs. He feels oddly disappointed. Derek turns back to his closed notebook and stares at it hard.

The sound of the fruit crashing onto the table sends the quiet room into a panic. One of the oranges shoots out and knocks over Erica’s tea, and the group scrambles to move everything out of it’s way.

“Yeah maybe let’s not do that again,” Isaac says to Meredith as he tosses away the last drenched paper towel. Meredith just shrugs and piles the fruit back into a bowl.

“It worked,” She says absently.

“What did?” Isaac asks.

“The fruit,” she says and looks around at them as they stare at her blankly.  She sighs, like she’s suddenly burdened by them all, and continues. “ His face was going to get stuck like that. So I knocked them over. None of you did anything to help Derek.”

“What … you did that on purpose for me?” Derek asks.

Meredith just stares at him and then walks out of the kitchen without another word.

“What the he—what was that?” Derek asks looking to the group.

“She thinks you’re being incredibly dense,” Isaac says and stands up. He hands Aiden the tablet and starts to leave. “I’d have to agree this time.”

Derek balks.

Ethan pats his shoulder, not looking up from the tablet screen and walks out the kitchen.

When Derek looks back, Erica and Boyd are giving each other significant looks across the table. Derek stares between them for a few long moments before his patience cracks.  “For the love of god, what?”

Boyd gives Erica a quick, barely noticeable shake of his head and then Erica turns to Derek and smiles. “Nothing!” She says brightly and then stands up from her chair. She ruffles Derek’s hair as she passes by him and then leans in close to give him a quick hug. “Goodnight Dere,” She says softly before she pulls back and walks away.

Derek stares at the empty entryway, thoroughly confused, and slowly looks back to Boyd. “What—“

“Can you help me with my Chem notes, man the final is going to kill me,” Boyd says and pushes a few sheets of paper in Derek’s direction.  Derek knows what’s happening.  He’s not stupid, and on top of that Boyd’s a bad liar, but he’s kind of scared to know what they are thinking. Erica and Boyd, hell the whole house has been acting strange, but he’s willing to be ignorant for a little bit longer. He nods a little and pulls the papers closer to him.

“Sure.”

+

As to not have a repeat of midterms, the house takes turns relieving Erica of her study anxiety when finals draw near.

Braeden’s the one to start it.  She makes her take breaks when she’s gone too long without one, easy to tell because every few minutes she lets out an annoyed huff sometimes followed by her throwing her pen down.

“Oh crap, Erica I forgot to show you this thing I found on my run the other day. Come here,” She says and stand up to leave the table they’re all huddled around.

“What?” Erica says, confused and agitated. “Can it wait?”

“No, come on really quick,” Braeden says and pulls her up , okay, practically drags her out of her chair.  A few minute later the sound of they’re laughter drifts down and when they stumble back into the room 45 minutes later, Erica’s face is flushed pink. She eases down into her seat, propping her foot on the cushion and leans her head on her raised knee, soft smile firmly in place as she reads on in her text book.

As Braeden walks back to her seat she and Boyd exchange a fist bump.

Isaac and Meredith make her a “Fuck Finals playlist” that despite its title is filled with calm and serene music.

Derek becomes really good at brewing tea and has a new cup ready for her anytime she gets antsy.

The twins are a little more direct with their approach by forcibly taking away her notes away from her and making her play a round of video games with them. She angrily protests for the first few minutes but soon is channeling her frustration into the game.

Boyd, sensing that she feels bad about wasting time playing games, or being distracted elsewhere, sits with her late at night when everybody is asleep or studying out of the house and quizzes her.

Derek witnesses this one night when he’s coming in from his study group. The two of them sit in front of the fireplace facing each other. Boyd’s deep voice is calm as he reads from a flash card. Erica’s eyes are closed as she searches her mind for the answer. Her face scrunches up and then she buries her face in her hands and groans.

“Hey, hey,” Boyd says and pulls her hands away. “Take a deep breath.” He squeezes one of her hands tightly and then rubs her arms soothingly with his other hand. “We’ve been over this. You know it. Deep breath.”

Erica’s body shifts as she sucks in air.  Her exhale is loud and she nods as she closes her eyes again.  Boyd moves both hands to rub comforting lines up her arms. After a few seconds, she mumbles something soft that Derek can’t hear and then looks at Boyd hesitantly. He smiles big and nods. “That’s it.”

“Really?” She asks excitedly and Boyd moves his hands to cup her face.

“I told you. You got this.” Erica huffs out a laugh and nods.  Boyd pulls back and picks up the stack of flash cards. “Alright. Lets do a few more.”

Derek walks quietly past without them noticing.

+

As the Christmas break looms near, the stress level of Derek’s roommates rises that has nothing to do with finals. In fact they seem to be using studying as an excuse to not talk about whatever it is that’s making them freak out. Any time Derek tries to talk to Boyd he distracts him by asking for help with a study question.

In fact the only one who seems excited for school to be over is Braeden. She seems to float around on this cloud of happiness that would be infectious if Derek weren’t dreading his five weeks alone by himself coming up. Erica once again extends him an offer to go home with her; in fact they all do, all except for Isaac. Isaac who over everyone else has become quieter and smaller than Derek has seen him since those first few weeks of the semester.

Finals eventually come and go without much hassle, and the night before most of them are to leave for Christmas break, the eight of them sit around Charles, their tiny tree that Braeden named, in preparation to exchange gifts.

It had been Erica’s idea, Secret Santa and to get each other gifts they could use while they were away from each other.  In the three weeks since he’s pulled his name he’s thought long and hard and agonized over what to get his friend.

“Courtesy of McKays!” Braeden says and sits down a bottle of spiced rum from seemingly nowhere. Ethan follows behind her carrying a tray of, judging by the smell wafting through the room, hot apple sider. Braeden starts to help him pass them around and then, like an after thought adds. “Oh, Merry Christmas!”

Everyone laughs and leans in to clink their glasses together. Aiden is the first one to reach for the bottle of rum and then stops. “Wait… is this your Secret Santa gift … like does your person have to share it with the house?”

Derek rolls his eyes and Braeden smiles. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“Okay, Okay,” Erica says excitedly as she sits down her mug.  “Let’s start the gifts. B you go first.”

Braden stands and pulls her gift from the tree; it’s a long and slender blue box. She holds it out to the room at large before she swivels towards Boyd and smiles. “Merry Christmas.”

Boyd smiles and reaches for it, stands to give her a tight hug, then sits down. He lifts the top of the box and smiles as he pulls out a bottle of Glenlivet Whiskey.

“Did you steal all of your Christmas presents from work,” Isaac asks.

“Screw you I bought that,” Braeden says and then crosses her arms. They all stare at her until she rolls her eyes and says. “Fine I may have used the restaurants wholesale discount card but still I bought it! Girls –“

“Gotta eat, yeah yeah.” Aiden says and stands to pick up a package from the pile. “ Me next.”

He hands Derek an odd and lumpy package and gives him a creepy shark-like grin. “Merry Christmas, brah.”

“You have got to stop watching Hawaii Five-0 ‘brah’,” Ethan says.

“Is there poop in here?” Derek asks, staring suspiciously down at the gift. He shakes it trying to get a feel for the weight.

“What, no,” Aiden says and sits back down. “What do you think I am … 12?”

“And if it was poop why would you shake it?” Erica asks at his side.

“You’re a heart breaker, dream maker, “Boyd sings and pats out a rhythm on his thighs from his spot on the edge of the couch. Everyone stops and looks at him. Then Braeden jumps up and mimes playing a guitar and the two of them yell out. “Poop shaker!’

“Guys guys come on,” Isaac says and then looks at Derek. “ Don’t you mess around with him.”

The entire room falls into a fit of laughter and even Derek lets himself crack a smile.

“Whatever, “Derek grumbles and starts to tear open the package.  A cloth spills out of the tears and Derek picks it up and straights out what is actually a terribly wrapped shirt. It reads, “I like (-___________-) ‘s”

“I like what?” Derek asks, confused.

“I like whales,” Aiden says.

Derek stares at him. “That is not what this says.”

“Let us see,” Erica says, tapping his leg until he turns it around. Braeden starts cackling and the rest follow suit.

“You guys all suck,” Derek says and then stands to pick up his gift. He shoves the box towards Erica and mumbles. “Merry Christmas.”

She squeals excitedly and starts to rip the paper. Inside is a pair of noise canceling headphones and a book about yoga and meditation. She looks up from the box and smiles.

“Thanks Dere,” she says softly and when she stands to get her gift from the pile she leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

When he looks her way, Braden is giving him a small knowing smile. He rolls his eyes and looks away.

Erica gives Ethan a book about gaming animators and Ethan gives Meredith a Doctor Who mug that changes colors depending on the temperature of liquid you put inside. When it’s Meredith’s turn she stands and passes out gifts to everyone.

They all give her confused looks and she stares back at them blankly.

“Um,” Ethan says. “You got us all something?”

“No.” She says. “ But I made you all something.”

Derek smiles and opens the box then frowns a little bit. There’s a knitted black beanie with a white sad face emoticon on the front of it.  He looks up to see similar looks of confusion on his roommate’s faces.

“I think I got Derek’s,” Aiden says holding up a yellow beanie with the initial D on it. Next to him, Ethan is staring down at a Green beanie.

“No, Derek has the self portrait.”

Derek scowls. “It’s a frowning face.”

Braeden snorts and then buries her face into a blue knit scarf.  Erica pats his knee gently with a newly mitten-clad hand. “Exactly, Hun.”

“Why does mine have a …umm badge on it?” Ethan asks finally. He glances over at Derek, frowning slightly, and Derek frowns back. Ethan looks from his hat back up to Derek in a pointed manner and Derek still feels confused but shakes his head in what he hopes is a subtle gesture.

“I put it on the inside,” Meredith says and then shrugs. “You can flip it whenever you’re ready.”

No one says anything about it, but Derek can see Braeden, Boyd, and Erica exchange looks of confusion.

“So why do I have the one with the D?” Aiden asks again before the silence can get awkward.

“For your nickname.”

“My nickname?”

“Yeah, is nick name is Thing 2,” Braeden says and then takes a long sip from her mug of spiked cider.

“And how come he’s Thing 1?” Aiden asks and points to Ethan.

“He’s not,” Braeden says and smiles over at Ethan,  “He’s --

“Isaac calls you dickhead all the time,” Meredith cuts in. “ Is that not a thing we’re doing?”

The entire room breaks into laughter that drowns out Aiden’s protest.

“And hey!” Aiden says as the room calms down. “ Why does Isaac have two things?”

“Because he’s a good kisser,” Meredith says and sits back down on the floor in front of Isaac’s seat. When Derek looks up, Isaac’s face has turned deep red, and the twins are gaping at the pair of them. This is about to go nowhere good fast.

“So who is your Secret Santa?” Derek asks, trying to deflect attention.

“Isaac.”

“So why didn’t you say that was the reason he gets two,” Aiden says, still looking a little shocked.

“Because it’s not,” Meredith says slowly, like she’s explaining something for the millionth time. “I got him a gift card for being my Secret Santa and I gave him a hat because his ears get cold easily and a scarf because he complains about hickeys.”

“Oh my god,” Isaac says and puts his head in his hands as the rest of them try, and fail, not to laugh.

“So wait,” Erica says after awhile and then points to Braeden. “Who got Braeden?”

Boyd stands and picks up the last package from under the sad little Christmas tree and tosses it to her. She catches the tiny package with ease and shoots him a wink.

Inside is a pair of paw print shaped earrings. Braden pulls one out and then laughs. “Right on! Thanks baby bear!”

“Why do you call him, baby bear?” Aiden grumbles into his mug.

“Look at him,” Braeden gesture. “He’s all big and scary like a bear but on the inside he’s just a wittle baby.” Braeden finishes on a laugh that Boyd soon joins in on. Aiden is scowling and Erica is shaking her head with a fond smile on her lips. Derek can’t help but let the room lift him up a bit too. He decides to make the moment stretch for a little bit longer.

The rest of the night flows in a similar fashion until they decide to put on a Christmas movie. They bicker over what to watch. Surprisingly on the same team for once, Braeden and Aiden want to watch A Christmas Story, while Boyd insist that they watch Love Actually. With all of the spiced rum gone and Erica the only one completely sober it’s easy for her to convince them that they agreed earlier to watch The Family Stone. There’s a subtle air of doubt among the group but no one has the energy to fight her on it as she gets up and puts the movie in.

They get about halfway through the film before Erica breaks the silence. “Alright peeps, I’m calling it a night,” She says and then looks over at Isaac and Meredith who at some point migrated to one chair. “And I’m sleeping in your room Boyd.”

He just laughs and stands up. He holds out a hand to heave her up and then walks out of the common room talking quietly.

After that, Ethan and Aiden escape off to their room singing some obscure version of silent night to each other.

Meredith and Isaac bid Derek a goodnight and walk hand in hand towards the hallway.

Derek lets out a long sigh. He can feel the pleasant buzz of the alcohol like a warm blanket over him. He looks over to Braeden and nods towards the hallway. “ You heading to bed yet?”

She looks over his way slowly, soft smile playing at her lips and then shakes her head. “Nah I wanna finish the movie, “ She says , subtle slur around the edges of her words. Derek nods and leans his head back against the sofa .

“Yeah me too,” but before he recognizes that he’s drifting, he’s already asleep.

Later, he feels something warm lay down next to him and the sweet scent of vanilla wafts around him. He leans towards it and smiles before he drifts back to sleep.

+

He wakes up when Ethan and Aiden are about to leave. He stands and yawns, waving, as they’re about to close the door.

“Oh actually hold on,” Ethan says to Aiden, and Derek looks up to see him coming back inside. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Derek frowns, “Sure man. What’s up?”

“Umm,” he starts and reaches into his pocket. “Did you tell anyone about Halloween? Because Meredith gave me this?”

Ethan hands him the green beanie from the night before and Derek stares at it.

“Look on the inside,” Ethan instructs.

Derek looks inside and sees a rainbow badge sewn in near the edge.  Derek shakes his head.

“I swear I didn’t tell anyone,” He says and hands him back the hat. “But I have to say, you don’t have anything to be afraid of here. You know that right?”

Ethan just looks down at the hat. “You and my brother are the only ones who know. And I know he didn’t tell anyone.”

Derek sighs and shrugs. It’s too early for this. “I promise I didn’t say anything about that night. I don’t know, Meredith just knows stuff like that sometimes.”

There’s a honk from outside and Ethan sighs and turns to leave.

“Just remember what I said Ethan, you’re safe here,” Derek says and Ethan offers him a small smile as he opens the door and leaves.

Derek goes upstairs to take a shower and when he’s back to his room there’s a note on his pillow.

_Try and have fun while we’re gone, Protégrinch. Call me you loser. Merry Christmas._

_Xoxo Braeden Roommate Extraordinaire_

Derek smiles and puts the note in his side drawer.

There’s a knock on the door. Boyd waves a set of keys in front of him and then lobs them at Derek. He reaches out to catch them and stares down at them for a few seconds until Boyd breaks the silence.

“Our cab just got here,” he says. “ So it’s just you. Take care of my baby.”

Derek nods and considers making a joke about joyriding, but he thinks Boyd might actually take his keys away if he did that. So no, he’s not going to risk it.

Boyd hesitates in the doorway and then says. “You should call your uncle—“

Derek starts to shake his head and clutches the keys tightly in his hand.

“Okay, okay,” Boyd says and steps further into the room. He looks like he’s struggling with something and Derek is about to ask what’s his deal when he comes close and pulls him into a crushing hug. “ Merry Christmas, Derek.”

Stunned, Derek only just remembers that hugs are generally a two-person thing, and pats awkwardly at his back.

+

Derek spends a week in solitude.  He tries to go for a run but it doesn’t feel the same with out Boyd. That and he almost brains himself on a tree stump when he slips in a patch of ice. 

He tries watching some ANTM, but he finds that he doesn’t like it as much without the rest of the house there to give commentary. The experiment with the Twins gaming system is short lived when Derek joins live play and is promptly told of his inadequacies through a colorful slew of swear words from what sounds like a 12 year old.

His roommates check in on him everyday.  Meredith sends him random texts of even more random facts that he will in know way find useful. Isaac texts him asking how he is and Derek sends back a short. “I’m good. You?” Isaac just texts him back with a “yeah same.” And something feels weird about it.

Boyd calls to ‘check on his car’, which then turns into an hour-long conversation about the vanity of Christmas. Erica is not subtle at all about her calling.

“What up loser?” She says into the phone. Derek doesn’t even bother rolling his eyes. “What up Zen?” He quips back.

“You and Braeden spend too much time together,” She says. He doesn’t even have a chance to respond, because no they don’t thank you very much, before she launches into a rant about how her mom is driving her crazy.

Even Aiden texts him.

_Dude have you seeing my Browns jersey around? Check the common room._

Derek checks four other places per Aiden’s request when he gets a text from Ethan.

_FYI he is currently wearing his Browns jersey. I think this is his way of checking on you/keeping himself entertained while we’re at my grams house._

He then sends a picture of Aiden, definitely wearing the jersey Derek just looked all over for, smiling down at his phone.

He realizes that Braeden is the only one two not contact him. He thinks about texting her, stares at an empty text screen for far too long, and then puts it on power save and pulls a textbook into his lap. He tells himself he’s not bothered by it.

He’s been by himself almost two weeks when he finally decides to spend some time in town. Most shops aren’t open for more than a handful of hours since December sees little to no tourists in Bar Harbor.

He’s able to take the roads at a snails pace in Boyd’s old Station wagon and just look around the town. It’s a beautiful sight to see. There’s a light dusting of snow on all of the buildings and the lights of the street lamps along the side walk are alternatively green and red as he drives by.

He’s hit with a longing for his old families house so suddenly, he has to pull over and sit for a while. He leans his head against the steering wheel and takes a deep breath in, trying to calm his nerves. He clenches his hands in a fist when he notices that they’re shaking. When he calms enough to trust himself behind the wheel of a car, he pulls back onto the road and drives back home.

There’s a light drift of snow falling when he parks in front of the house.  He sits in the car for several minutes just watching the snow collect on the window.

Inside, Derek starts to take off his jacket when he hears a thump upstairs. He stills and then looks up towards the noise and strains to hear anything else. He can hear a light set of footsteps.

He starts heading down the hall and before he hits the stairs he reaches inside Erica and Meredith’s room and grabs the first possibly lethal thing he can find, which happens to be a hair straightener. ANTM has taught him some things, okay.

He wraps the cord around his fist and is prepared to swing the thing at whoever is robbing them.

He pauses again when he gets halfway up the steps because holy shit what if this person has like a gun or something. He is not prepared.

There’s another thud and Derek thinks _fuck it_ and charges down the hallway.

He burst through the door brandishing the flat iron like a nun chuck and stops immediately when he sees an unimpressed Braeden looking up from the floor at him picking up something she dropped.

“Thought you’d straighten me out huh?” She deadpans from her spot on the ground.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, anxiety deflating. He tosses the appliance on his bed and sighs heavily.

Braeden turns back to her task without answering him.

“You kinda scared me.” He continues after she says nothing.

She looks back to his bed. “I noticed.”

“I thought you weren’t coming back until like a week before the start of school.”

“Well I’m back early.”

“Why?”

“Does it matter?”

“Did you come back because you felt bad for me?” Derek asks and she turns away towards her bed. “Jesus Braeden, I don’t need a baby sitter I’m not going to like off myself because this is the first Christmas alone –“

Braeden turns to look at him, her face stony and tears in her eyes.

“My grandfather died,” She says in a low, hushed voice. “The day I got into town. I showed up to a house full up emergency vehicles.  Then I spent the next six days planning a funeral for the only person I had left in the _world._ “

Derek just stares at her; he doesn’t know what to say. Even if he did he wouldn’t have much time to say it.

“So no, Derek,” She practically spits out his name. “I didn’t come back here two days before Christmas so you wouldn’t be lonely. I didn’t come back here because I felt sorry for you or whatever it is you think is happening here. I came back because I didn’t want to sit in an empty house with nothing else to do but cry and answer the phone and accept condolences that I don’t _want_. I came back because I don’t have anywhere else to go Derek. Are you happy now? Now you know!”

She wipes roughly at the few tears that have fallen down her face.

“Braeden,” Derek says softly. “I’m so sorry.”

He steps forward and reaches out a hand towards her and she recoils and turns back towards her bed. There’s an open bag sitting on it.

“I need to finish unpacking,” She says and starts to do so. “Can I have the room for bit?”

Derek nods. Then remembers she can’t see him and clears his throat. “Yeah, of course.”

Derek leans against the door when he closes it behind him and takes a deep breath. Fuck.

He pulls out his phone when he feels it vibrate several times in a row.

He pulls up his text screen to a group message started by Erica.

**_Erica:_ ** _Any1 hrd from Brae yet? Have’t been able 2 get ahold of her all break._

**_Isaac:_ ** _Yeah same here._

**_Boyd_ ** _: No. It’s weird right?_

**_Aiden_ ** _: Ditto_

**_Aiden_ ** _: Ethan said no 2_

**_Meredith_ ** _: Ask Derek._

And like, what the actual fuck Meredith.

His phone vibrates with an incoming call from Boyd and Derek moves away from the door and back down the hall as he answers it.

“What?”

“Please tell me you don’t know what’s going on with Braeden,” Boyd says. “Because part of me wants to be really freaked out by Meredith if you do. And the other part of me is like yes finally they are getting their shit together.”

“What does that even mean?” Derek asks as he makes his way down the stairs.

“Derek,” Boyd says. “I saw you two on the couch the morning we left for break.”

“Okay I know where she is,” Derek says quickly. “I just found out she was here. I just came back from town—“

“Did you fill up the tank?”

“Not yet, Boyd. Jesus will you listen to me?”

“What is the golden rule, bro?”

“I almost had a nervous break down because of some Christmas lights so I think filling up your tank was the last thing on my mind, behind not crashing it, and you know, getting home safely! Now will you let me finish my story?”

“You good? You need to talk? Because—“

“Boyd! Shut up,” Derek cuts in. “ So when I got home I thought someone was—“

“Wait hold on,” Boyd says suddenly and then the line cuts out for a few seconds and then he comes back.  “Okay, what now?”

Derek sighs and sits down at the kitchen table. 

“So when I got home I thought someone was in the house like robbing us so –“

“We got robbed?”

“Erica?!”

“Oh yeah. I conferenced her in.”

“I’m here too,” says Isaac. “Meredith just texted me to ask if he told you yet.”

“So what? Do you know where she is?”

“If you’d let me finish my fucking story!” Derek snaps.

“What did we get robbed or no?” Erica asks.

“Jesus, no! Listen. When I got home I heard something up stairs and when to go check it out because I thought someone could be in the house.”

“You didn’t call the police?” Boyd asks. “Dude, survival 101: do not inspect yourself. I swear the movies get it wrong I’d outlast all of you.”

Derek groans and puts his head in his hands.

“I was armed!”

“With what?” Isaac asks.

Derek pauses, thinks back to the hair straightener sitting on his bed, “That’s not important. The point is I wen to check it out—“

“Dumb.”

“—And it was Braeden. She’s here she just showed up.”

There is silence on the phone and before they can ask why Derek says softly. “Her grandfather died.”

“Oh my god,” Erica says and he can hear Boyd swear softly.

“Is she okay?” Isaac asks.

“I don’t know. She doesn’t want to talk. And guys please don’t text her about this. I think she’ll talk to us about it when she’s ready. “

“Yeah of course. I’ll tell the twins the same,” Erica says. “God, this is awful.”

Derek doesn’t say anything, and they all kind of just hold the phone fore several more minutes before Isaac says he has to go.

“Yeah I should probably go too,” Derek says. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

“Let us know what happens,” Boyd says.

“Yeah call us if you need anything… anything Derek I mean it.”

Derek wants to ask them what good they could do hours away, but he doesn’t. He just sighs and agrees and then hangs up shortly after.

On autopilot he starts gathering ingredients and dishes, and before he knows it he’s preparing a chili. His dad used to always make it during the winter.

He lets the work numb the stress of the last few hours, lets his mind wander with thoughts of doing this with his dad back home. How his dad would pretend to not see his mom stealing slices of bell pepper when she thought he wasn’t looking.

He remembers how he taught him to season the meat just right and gets lost in the sense memory. He closes his eyes briefly and lets himself just for a second imagine his Dad humming some tune he’d made up.

His whole body aches with missing them. His mom, his dad, his sisters Laura and Cora.

It feels like no time has passed at all when he’s setting the pot on the stove to simmer and he hears a throat clearing behind him.

He spins around and sees Braeden walking towards the stove. “I didn’t know you could cook?” She says and leans over the pot.

“Maybe I can’t,” Derek says and puts the lid on. “It could be terrible. We don’t know until we try it.”

Braeden smiles softly. “Well it smells good. So you have that going for you.”

“A good sign,” Derek agrees.

They are silent for a few more minutes before Derek gets enough courage to speak. “Braeden—“

“How long before this is done?” She asks.

Derek looks at the pot. “We can probably eat it in a little while.”

“Great. Let me know when its ready.”

She turns to leave and Derek reaches to grab her arm, but she pulls away and scowls.

“Brae.”

“Just leave it alone Derek.”

She doesn’t come out of the room 15 minutes later when he tells her the food is ready. He hovers for a while, waiting to see if she’ll give in, but eventually he lets it go and heads back downstairs. With not much of an appetite, he slinks into the common room to catch up on some work. He falls asleep on the couch reading a book.

He wakes up when Braeden sits down next to him on the couch. She’s got the remote in one hand and a bowl of chili in the other hand. She is decidedly not looking at him.

He sits up slowly and watches as she scrolls through the Netflix options. 

After a few more minutes of silence Derek is about to stand and give her some space when she speaks up.

“Don’t leave,” She says and then adds. “ Please.”

Derek eases back into the couch and looks at her.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want a hug or anything. I just… I just don’t want to be alone.”

Derek nods and picks his book back up as Braeden choose a documentary called “Too Cute” with a bunch of sleeping puppies on the thumbnail. It is devastatingly adorable.

When she’s done with her food she gets up to presumably put the bowl in the sink and a few minutes later she comes back with two mugs of tea.

She hands one to Derek. He mumbles a thank you and sits it on the side table next to him. Braeden sits next to him a little closer than before and then turns and lays her head on his thigh.

Derek freezes for a second and then she looks up to him and smiles.

“So protégé can cook,” she says and laughs softly.

Derek rolls his eyes and relaxes a little bit. “ Shut up.”

“Every body else is going to be so jealous!” Braeden tease as she grabs for the remote.

“We’ll freeze some for them,” Derek says, zoning back into his book. Braeden hums in agreement and starts back in on the movie.

He gets to a stopping point around the same time the movie ends and silently she sits up as he puts his book aside and hands him the remote.

“You pick,” She says as she stands and walks towards the hallway. “I’ll be back.”

Derek yawns as he scrolls through titles. He clicks on ‘The Office’ for no particular reason, but he knows it’s a comedy and it seems like a safe bet for two sad people.

Braeden comes back into the room with a pillow from his bed and a blanket off of hers.

“This good?” He asks pointing to the screen.

Braeden glances at the screen and nods before tossing his pillow at him. “Where’s yours?” He asks.

“That’s what I’ve got you for.” She says and then tosses the blanket on the couch.

“Where’s my blanket?” He asks.

She sighs and sit down next to him. “That’s what you have me for.” She says and leans against him pulling the blanket with her.

Derek puts his arms around her. “I thought you didn’t want a hug.”

Braeden sighs. “ Shut up and cuddle with me.”

Derek laughs softly and squeezes her a little tighter.

The next morning Derek wakes with a face full of Braeden’s hair.

“God, I swear it tries to escape from your scalp at night,” He mutters and brings a hand to flatten it.  He stops suddenly when he sees tear tracks down her face from where she’d been crying at some point in the night.

“Brae,” he says softly and pulls her back in tightly.  She squirms a little and turns over on the couch so that they are face to face. Derek sighs and looks down at the pinched expression on her face. He shakes her awake.

“Braeden,” He says a little louder. “Wake up?”

She burrows her head against his chest and pulls the blanket over her head. “Shh no.”

Derek laughs. “Come on lets go up stairs.”

She groans and Derek has to let go of her when she sits up.  She stares groggily around the room for a second before she stands and shuffles towards the stairs, her blanket dragging on the ground behind her.

Derek smiles softly in follows.  In the room she’s laying in her bed and Derek hesitates. Is he supposed to join her? Does she want space or more silent support?

He bites his lip nervously and just goes for it.

He sits down on her bed and she moves closer to the wall to give him room to lie down.

As soon as he lies down she leans into his space and puts her head on his shoulder. He puts an arm around her and pulls the blanket to cover them both.

They’re silent for a few minutes and Derek assumes she’s drifted back off to sleep. He yawns, not too far behind her, when she speaks.

“Thank you.”

Derek leans in and kisses her forehead.

The second time Derek wakes up, he’s alone. The light coming from the window lets him know it’s a lot later than it was the first time and when he reaches for his phone he’s not surprised to see the 11:28 AM.

He finds Braeden downstairs by the front door putting on her jacket and snow boots.

“You going somewhere?”

Braeden looks up from tying her shoe. She’s wearing the scarf that Meredith made her for Christmas and the blue beanie.

“Yeah,” she says and stands straight.  “Thought I’d go to the Island.”

Derek stares at her. “ Braeden it’s like 28 degrees right now. You can’t swim across the bay now. Are you crazy?”

She gives him an unimpressed look. “ I’m going to blame the fact that you just woke up for your lack of logic right now. I’m going to get a boat you loser.”

Derek crosses his arms. “ Oh yeah from where?”

She lifts a questioning eyebrow. “The school.”

Derek can practically hear the ‘duh’ she held back.

“It’s Christmas Eve Braeden the school isn’t open to feed us let alone check out boating equipment. “

“Fine I’ll just take one and no one will know,” Braeden says and starts to zip up her jacket.

“Braeden come on,” Derek sighs and looks over his shoulder. “Let’s just watch some more TV—“

“You can do whatever you want. I’m not asking you to come with me. I don’t even need your help. You asked where I was going and I told you. Now back off,” Braeden says. She opens the door and steps out and the blast of cold air is a shock.

“Wait!” Derek says and pulls her back inside. “If you insist on doing something as stupid as this, I’d feel better if I was with you.”

She rolls her eyes and mutters something that sounds like _whatever_ and then turns back towards the door. “Just hurry up okay,” She says before she opens the door and steps out.

Derek dresses quickly and joins her outside a few minutes later.

She laughs when she sees him and pulls out her phone to snap a picture.

“Identical!” She says as she looks down at the screen.  She holds the screen up for him to see and he doesn’t get it.

“What?”

“The hat.”

He’s wearing his hat that Meredith made him. With the frowning face. And he’s not smiling in the picture. He glares at her.

“Uncanny,” he deadpans.

“Truly a work of art,” Braeden says and reaches up to tug it down over his ears.

He sighs, “Lets get this over with.”

“That’s the spirit!”

It takes them a bit of time to get down to the school’s pier because Derek refuses to involve Boyd’s car in this. Derek also keeps slipping on patches of ice much to Braeden’s delight.

“Weren’t you kind of a superstar athlete back in California?”

“None of the sports I played involved ice, thank you very much,” He grumbles, and when he falls again he makes sure to take her down with him.

They make it to the pier and Braeden starts to undock one of the rowboats.

“This is a terrible plan. We don’t even have life vest.”

Braeden groans and points across the bay. “We are going like a quarter of a mile. I can literally see where the boat is going to go. I think we’ll be fine Derek.”

Derek scowls the entire time it takes her to get the boat ready.

When she sits down with the paddles, they kind of just stare at each other.

“Your highness, the chariot awaits you,” She says and gestures to the boat almost losing one of the paddles in the process.  “I meant to do that.”

“Uh huh,” Derek grumbles and gets into the boat. “ This is so stupid.”

“And yet,” Braeden says and starts to row the boat. “Here we are.”

They stay silent as they make there way across the bay.

It’s peaceful, it really is but Derek keeps imagining the different ways they are about to die.

“You’re thinking about us tipping aren’t you.”

“It’s for your own good,” Derek says.

“How?” Braeden asks, a smirk playing at her lips.

“Nothing ever goes the way I plan it.  So if I plan for us to fall out of this boat and freeze to death then we should probably be okay.”

Braeden scoffs and looks out at the water. “ It’s so pretty.”

“It’s so cold.”

“It’s nice.”

“The tide is high we’re probably going to run into rocks and die,” Derek grunts and crosses his arms.

They hit the shore and Derek gets out to pull the boat further up the bank. He looks around and sighs loudly.

“What now?” He asks as Braeden steps out of the boat.

“Now we walk,” She says and points to one of the entrances of the trail.

Derek nods and she starts to walk off. He looks back towards the schools pier and sees movement. He does a double take, but when he looks again he doesn’t see anything.

“Chop chop protégé, we’re wasting daylight!”

Derek follows behind her.

They are quiet for about an hour with both of them concentrating on not slipping and falling to their death. Derek keeps an eye on Braeden because she’s definitely quieter than usual. Which is understandable but off-putting nonetheless.

They make it to the top of the trail in good time, probably faster than most, and Derek is grateful to be able to sit down and look out at the view. Beside him Braeden is still silent.

“Okay, I’ll admit,” Derek starts. “It’s cold as hell, but it’s pretty up here.”

Braeden laughs softly and nods. “Yeah.”

Derek lets the silence settle again. They sit there for what feels like a long time just looking out at the view.

“What happened to your family?” Braeden asks quietly.

Derek looks at her and sighs then looks back out on to the view.

“I was dating this girl. Kate Argent. She was older and my parents weren’t very fond of her. I guess.” Derek starts. He looks over to Braeden and shrugs. “She was a few years older so… I don’t know.”  He stops then, his fist ball up out of reflex. He’s tried not to think about this for a very long time.  After a few long moments, he takes a deep breath.  Braeden reaches out and squeezes Derek’s hand tightly.  He looks at her and she’s giving him a sad knowing smile. “She set my house on fire while I was at an away game. Both my parents died. My little sister almost died.”

He looks away then. He can feel the sting f tears and he closes his eyes tightly. Braeden shifts closer to him, leans her head on his shoulder, and puts an arm around his waist.

“When was this?”

“Right before the end of my junior year,” Derek says.

“Where are your sisters now?”

Derek sighs and considers not talking to her about it. He doesn’t like talking about his sisters.

“My sister Cora lives with my uncle in San Diego.  That’s where I was supposed to go to school.  Had a full ride to Cal State. Anyway, Laura is studying abroad this year. She took a year off from school when it happened but… I don’t know. We don’t really talk anymore.”

Braeden is quiet again. They sit there and just soak in the cold air. “At least you still have family.” She says softly.

“Doesn’t really feel like it,” Derek says looking down at his gloves. “Laura has always blamed me for my parents and I know Peter and Cora feel the same. We haven’t really been a family since that happened.”

Braeden moves her hand up his arm, and rest it at his cheek. She swipes the pad of her thumb softly under his eye. He hadn’t even recognized he started crying. He closes his eyes for a second. “I’m sorry,” He says.

“No. I’m the one making you talk about it.”

He looks at her then. “I think we both know I don’t do things that I don’t want to do.”

“You went on a winter hike with me against all better judgment,” She points out.

“Exactly,” Derek says softly and leans in to rest his forehead against hers.

Braeden smiles and then closes her eyes as she leans her head down against Derek’s shoulder. Her body shakes as she starts to cry and he puts his arms around her. “Shh, it’s okay.”

He holds her for nearly an hour. He holds her long after she stops crying, but neither of them feel the need to let go.

Their stomachs pull them apart.

Braeden shakes again, but this time with laughter at the sound of Derek’s stomach growling.

“Shut up,” He says and moves to stand up slowly, stiff from the weather and inactivity.

“I didn’t say anything,” Braeden says using the back of his jacket as leverage to help her stand.

They make their way back down the trail in a similar fashion as before and step back out onto the sand bar.

“Where is the boat?” Braeden asks.

“What?” Derek says and looks around.

“You pulled it right here it should be… oh.”

Derek looks at her and follows her sight, and yep that’s their boat just hanging out about 50 feet out.

“Well I mean it’s not that far out one of us—“

“No! Are you crazy we’d die before we even got back to campus!”

“Well what else are we going to do then Derek.”

“We can call someone to come and get us,” Derek says.

“Then we’d be in trouble.”

“Braeden,” Derek starts and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“No listen. The tide will go down and we can just walk the land bridge back into town—“

“Then what?” he snaps. “Because it’s going to get dark way before the tide falls and it’s going to get cold… _colder._ ”

Braeden puts her head in her hands and it looks like she’s about to start crying. Derek sighs and walks over to her. He puts his hand on her shoulders and turns her to face him.

“Look at me,” Derek says. She looks up from her hands and then crosses her arms. “ We’ll try your plan, but if it gets too cold or too dark to walk across the bridge, I’m calling Deaton. “

She nods and he pulls her into a hug. 

The sound of a motor makes him pull away. When he looks towards the sound he can see a boat heading towards them.

Within minutes he can make out Deaton’s form.

“We are so screwed,” Braeden says as they watch Deaton slow next to the other boat and latch it on to his.

“Yep,” Derek says and lets out a long sigh.

“Hi Professor,” Braeden says as Deaton comes within hearing range. “Good to see you!”

Deaton gives her an unimpressed look and then looks to Derek. “I wish I could say the same.”

“We know this looks like –“

“Like you took school property without following the proper procedures, like you took unnecessary risk and endangered your lives? Because _that’s_ what it looks like.”

“I can explain sir,” Derek starts but Deaton cuts him off.

“And I look forward to hearing your explanation, but right now you two are going to get in the boat and the three of us are going back to campus.”

Derek and Braeden nod and edge closer to the boat. Once inside, Braeden keeps giving Derek these apologetic looks every minute or so,  and when they are halfway there he reaches over to grab her hand. He gives it a tight squeeze. She smiles softly and looks out at the view.

Derek looks away and catches Deaton’s eye, who looks down at Derek’s and Braeden’s hands clasped together and raises an eyebrow and question.

Derek can feel his face heat up with a blush and he looks away quickly.

It hardly takes them five minutes to get across the bay in the motorboat. The three of them tie up the boats then head back towards the school.

“You two look a little weathered,” Deaton says as they get closer to their house. “Why don’t you two get warm and some food and we’ll talk about this some time next week.”

Braeden nods immediately and elbows Derek when he kind of just stares.

“Uh yes sir, thank you that would be great,” Derek says and starts to turn away. Deaton clears his throat and they both turn back to look at him.

“There will be no more instances like this from the two of you. Do I make myself clear?” They nod in unison and hurry away when Deaton dismisses them with a wave of his hand and a quick. “Merry Christmas, you two.”

Once they make it back inside the house, they both just kind of look at each other before they start laughing hysterically.

“What the hell,” Braeden says and slides down the wall, putting her head in her hands.

Derek laughs and sits next to her. “Perks of being a protégé.”

She looks up at him and grins, “ I guess so. We’re still in deep shit.”

“Oh yeah,” Derek says. “ But it could be a whole lot worse.”

“Yeah,” Braeden says and then nudges him. “ Go get warm and I’ll heat us some chili.”

They stand and Derek goes up stairs to change his clothes.

Braeden’s gotten rid of her jacket and scarf and is sitting in front of the unlit fireplace with a sea green sweater on when Derek comes back down. She holds a bowl of chili out for him and he sits next to her.

“You can light it you know,” Derek says and nods towards the fire. “I’m not terrified of it.”

Which is not exactly true but he doesn’t want them to freeze either.

Braeden shakes her head. “No I’m okay. We’ve got some blankets here and the food is warm.”

Derek nods and accepts the bowl of chili offered to him.

“That’s a pretty sweater,” Derek says and smiles softly. Braeden looks up at him and tilts her head. Derek frowns. “What? I can’t compliment you?”

She squints her eyes at him. “Yeah, whatever.”

Derek rolls his eyes and takes a bite of his food. He moans a little because it’s the first thing he’s eaten all day and damnit it’s delicious.

Braeden laughs softly and then looks down at her bowl.

“My grandpa used to make this really good chili, his had beans though,” She says and points her spoon at Derek.

He lifts an eyebrow at her. “Maybe next time.”

She smiles softly and takes another bite. And it’s quiet for a while.

“What happen Braeden?” Derek asks. He’s done eating and they are both just sitting there, Braeden staring into the fireplace and Derek staring at her. “To your grandfather.”

“Heart attack,” She says softly and doesn’t look at him.

Derek reaches out and grabs her bowl and sits it aside. “Come here,” He says and pulls her into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to hug me.”

“Shut up and cuddle with me.”

Braeden laughs against him and then she starts crying. And just like before Derek holds her through it all.

He holds her even when she starts to tell him all about her grandfather. And how involved he was in his community and his local church.  She tells him all about the first boy she ever brought home to meet him and how he scared him shitless.

“He sounds amazing,” Derek says after she tells him about how he taught her self defense when she was 12 and some boys from her school tried to mess with her.

“He was,” She says softly and then turns her face into Derek’s neck again.

They go to bed early that night, the exhaustion from the hike and their emotions get the best of them and he falls into his bed with a long sigh.

He’s just about to drift off to sleep when he feels his bed dip and a warmth press next to him.

He smiles.

He wakes up alone and when he looks at the window there’s only a faint light coming through.

He stands and puts on a sweater and some thinker socks before going down stairs.

Braeden is sitting at the kitchen table staring into a mug of coffee.  Derek gets one for himself and sits down next to her.

She doesn’t look up when he sits and minutes pass before he reaches out and touches her hand lightly.

“Hey,” he says softly. She looks up confused, like she didn’t know he was sitting there and he smiles. “Merry Christmas.”

She looks away and nods. “Yeah, you too.”

“You hungry?” Derek asks and she shakes her head. “Do you want to talk abou—no okay, okay.” Derek says quickly as Braeden shakes her head frantically and puts her mug down.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about anything,” Derek says softly and pushes her hair back from her face. She turns to look at him, tears brimming in her eyes. He lets his thumb rub softly across her cheek down towards her jaw. He can feel where her scars start. “Just know I’m here.”

Braeden stands abruptly and turns to leave. The only word Derek catches as she walks off is ‘shower’.

Derek sighs and watches her go. He can’t help but think about his first Christmas without his parents. How quiet it was, for the first time ever.

Derek pulls his phone out and starts a group text to Laura, Cora and Peter and just stares at it.

He sits the phone down on the desk and just glares as he sips his cup of coffee.

All he has to do is type out “Merry Christmas.”

That’s all.

He can do this. He puts down his cup and picks his phone back up and types out the words.

Fuck how should he end it though. ‘…’ would be like a slap in the face. He really fucking hates ellipsis, but Laura used to do it to him all the time just to fuck with him.

Should he send her a separate text? Should he send them all separate text messages? Maybe he should just put an exclamation point.  But he doesn’t want it to seem like he’s happier without them.  Like ‘hey guys I know I haven’t talked to you in months but who cares I’m having the time of my life.’ What if they don’t respond? What if he frets and frets and is freaking out and then they don’t send anything back and it’s just a total nightmare. They wouldn’t, right?

Derek stands to get another cup of coffee and watches his phone as he does so. Like he expects it to just make the decision for him.

That is how Braeden finds him45 minutes later: sipping a cup of coffee and glaring at his phone 4 feet away.

“What are you doing?” She asks him.

Derek startles, sloshing coffee as he jumps.

“Jesus, Braeden,” He says sitting it down. He looks at her; she’s wearing a long sleeved t-shirt that hangs off her shoulder a little bit and some leggings. Her hair is still wet, hanging loose to the side.

Derek looks away and starts to clean up the mess. “I was just thinking,” he says finally.

Braeden nods and walks out of the kitchen and a few seconds later Derek can here the TV start up in the common room.

He gives his phone another look of discontentment before he grabs a bagel and goes out to join her.

Their day sort of continues like that. Braeden shooting down any attempts Derek makes to talk to her or do something and Derek tries to ignore the ache in his chest.

At some point Erica and Boyd manage to get them all on board to do a group call.

“Merry Christmas, everybody,” Meredith says after they’re all accounted for.

There’s a chorus of Merry Christmas from the phone speakers.

“How has everyone’s day been?” Erica asks and there’s silence for several seconds before Braeden huffs next to him and speaks up.

“Derek’s been having a staring contest with his phone all day,” She says.

“So business as usual,” Boyd says. Derek glares at the phone.

“He’s doing it again.” Braeden says and they all laugh.

“How is my baby?” Boyd asks.

Derek rolls his eyes and gives Braeden a look. “It’s in pristine condition, I assure you.”

“Pristine?” Aiden says. “Are we talking about the same pile of junk Boyd likes to call a car.”

“And guess who just lost driving privileges to said pile of junk.”

“Whatever,” Aiden says and then Ethan starts laughing.

“Oh my god your face is so pathe—ouch get off!”

There’s more tussling in the background and Erica starts to talk over them, going on about her family and some drama that has them all laughing.

Another set of loud yelling interrupts Erica.

“Really guys, still?” Boyd asks.

“That’s not us, Aiden yielded to my superiority already – ow stop!” Ethan says.

“Wait guys shh,” Braeden, says and the line goes quiet.

“Dad just give me a second,” Isaac is saying somewhere distant. “ I’m just saying Merry Christmas to my roommates.”

There’s more yelling and something crashes to the ground. They can hear another voice, the voice that was yelling before, but Derek can’t make out what’s being said.

A door slams and seconds later Isaac is back.

“I have to go guys,” He says in a hurry and then mumbles a quick “Merry Christmas,” before he hangs up.

“What the hell was that all about,” Ethan asks.

“His father is not a nice man,” Meredith says quietly.

“You’ll check on him?” Erica asks her.

“Yeah,” Meredith says. “I’m going to go…. Bye.”

“Well that was abrupt,” Derek says.

“We should probably go too, our dad keeps giving us these looks. I think he wants us to hurry up.”

“Really Eth, what gave it away? Him pointing at his watch and mouthing wrap it up?”

“Shut up! Bye guys see you in a few weeks.”

“Yeah bye. Merry Christmas losers!” Aiden says and disconnects.

There’s silence for a few minutes and then Erica speaks.

“Are you two doing okay?”

Derek looks at Braeden who is looking away from the phone.

“Yeah we’re okay,” Derek says softly. He reaches out to pat Braeden’s leg who pulls away and stands up.

“I’m kind of tired. I think I’ll take a nap,” She says and starts to walk off. “Bye guys.”

“Braeden wait,” Derek says and follows behind her. “You should eat something. I can cooks us some—“

“I’m fine, Derek,” She says. “Just tired.”

Derek watches her walk down the hallway and disappears up the staircase.

When he walks back to the phone Erica and Boyd are bickering softly. Derek takes them off of speakerphone.

“What was I supposed to do pretend like nothing happened?” Erica is asking.

“No, but Derek said not to bring it up!”

“I didn’t! I just asked –“

“Guys, it’s fine. It’s just a really rough day… for both of us,” He says and sighs, sitting back down on the couch. “It helps knowing you guys care.”

“Of course we do,” Boyd says. “You talk to –“

“No. I haven’t,” Derek says, a bit snappier than he means to. “ Sorry, sorry. I think I’m going to rest for a bit too.”

“Of course,” Erica says.

“Yeah, we’ll talk to you guys later,” Boyd says.

Derek hangs up after a quick goodbye, and just lies down on the couch. Suddenly he feels very tired. He considers joining Braeden for a nap and then he sits up straight, startled, because when did he start thinking about Braeden like that. Well it doesn’t have to mean anything; it’s just the stress of the holidays that’s making him want to be close to her. He’d do it with anyone really. He’d want to cuddle with Boyd if he was here. He kind of snorts at the thought of that and lies back down on the couch.

 

He wakes up to the sound of laughter. He groans and turns his face into the pillow on the couch. He’s not ready to get up damn it.

“Braeden shut up,” He mutters against the fabric.

“Somebody wake up mister grumpy pants in there so we can start this bad boy.”

Derek shoots up straight and throws himself from the couch in a haste to stand up.

“Mom?” He calls as he trips over a blanket on the floor.

“Who else you dork?”

Derek whips around and ducks just in time to miss the pillow Laura throws at his head.

“Laura?” He chokes out.

Laura gives him a weird look and walks past him down the hall towards the kitchen.

“Derek is being weird again, I told you we should have traded him for a new one years ago.”

“Laura, not nice.”

“Dad?” Derek’s knees feel week as he races to the kitchen.

There’s another round of laughter and Derek wills himself not to trip over and fall. On shaky legs he follows the sound of their laughter, the hallway seemingly never ending as he walks to the door.

As soon as he pushes the door open he’s engulfed by an overwhelming amount of heat and the screams of his family are piercing the air.

Derek wakes up with a shout.

“NO!” He blinks around at the empty common room.

He looks around when he hears hurried footsteps and he see’s Braeden come in from the hallway. She stops to look at him, and they just stare.

The teakettle is screaming in the background and Derek looks in the direction of the kitchen and gulps.

Braeden goes to silence the kettle and Derek leans back into the couch, breathing heavily and sweat beading on his skin.

Braeden sits next to him, a warm mug in her hands that she extends to him.

He shakes his head.

She takes a sip of it and sits it down on the table before she stands to get the controllers for the gaming system.  She silently offers him one and he rejects that as well.

She turns on the game and sits back down next to him.

Derek watches her go through all of the menus until she finds what she’s looking for and starts to play.  She leans her head on his shoulder as she takes down bad guy after bad guy.

Derek puts his arm around her and pulls her in closer accepting the comfort and contentment.

After an hour passes of Derek just mindlessly watching Braeden play the game, she finally convinces him to let her show him how the game is played.

They play until the sun starts to set.

“Hey,” He says pausing the game. “Can I show you something?”

She gives him an odd look but nods. He smiles and pats her leg as he stands up.

“Come on, let’s go get dressed. It’s not here,” Derek says and walks towards the hallway.

Braeden follows him at a slower pace and once inside the room it takes her longer than usual to dress. At first Derek thinks it’s because she can’t finds something to wear.

“Do you want one of my shirts? Might be thicker?” He asks and hands her a long-sleeved, maroon shirt.

She stares down at it for a few seconds and when she looks up she grins. “This has thumb holes, Derek.”

Derek rolls his eyes and turns towards his bed so she can change into the shirt. Minutes later Derek is ready to put on his boots downstairs and looks at her just sitting. She’s playing with the cuff of the shirt staring off at nothing.

Derek walks over to her dresser and opens the top drawer to get her favorite blue beanie and a read scarf. He walks in front of her and kneels.

“Hey,” He says softly. He grabs her hand and gives it a tight squeeze.

She turns to look at him and gives him a small, sad smile. “Sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything; he just reaches up and wraps her scarf around her neck, tying it in a loose knot.

He looks over to the corner where she keeps her shoes and points to a pair of leather black ones that she wears a lot, “Those?”

Braeden nods and he stands to retrieve them. He kneels back in front of her and puts a hand at her calf to lift her foot up and slide it into the shoe and then does the same with the other.  He ties them tight and then squeezes her ankle as he looks up and smiles at her.

He stands up and reaches down to grab her hands and pulls her to him, and they walk downstairs with his arm around her shoulders.

At the door he pulls his shoes on while she slowly puts on her jacket and he watches her. He watches the slow almost aching way she slides her arm into the sleeve.

He stands and puts his jacket on, zips it up and then does the same to hers.

“One more thing,” He says and reaches in his jacket pocket for the beanie that Meredith made him. And it’s worth it because she smiles at him even though Derek is sure she’d be outright laughing any other time.

“And now your turn,” he says and pulls the beanie he’d gotten out of her dresser and puts it on her. Then tugs it down too far down her face so it covers her eyes. “Oops.”

She snorts and pushes him and pulls it up a little.

Derek laughs softly and turns to grab Boyd’s keys as he opens the front door.

“We’re driving somewhere?” She asks.

“Yeah, but not that far,” He says as he locks the door behind them. “Just into town for a bit.”

“It’s almost dark, Derek. I doubt anything that was open today probably still is.”

Derek grabs her hand and pulls her down the front steps. “Come on just trust me.”

The car ride into town is quiet. There are Christmas carols playing softly on the radio, but nothing is said between the two of them.

Derek parks the car on a side street and get’s out. The sun has just about set and there’s a soft glow of pink still left in the sky.

“Care to share yet, protégé?” Braeden asks. She shoves her hands in her pockets and looks around the empty street.

Derek smiles and walks over to her. He nudges her and then tilts his head down the street. “You’ll see in a second,” he says and turns to walk in the direction.

He can hear her huff out a sigh, but seconds later there’s the shuffle of her footsteps on the icy ground behind his.

They walk for about ten minutes down the street and then turn on Main. He stops her at the corner of the street and puts his hand on her shoulder to turn her towards the row of shops and restaurants.

“What?” She asks, confusion evident in her voice.

“Just wait,” Derek says softly and he takes a deep breath because he’s only seen it happen once. _And_ he’s not even sure if it’ll happen today.

But he lets out a sigh of relief as Braeden gasps and they watch the strip of stores light up one by one in an assortment of Christmas displays.

Braeden turns around to look up at him and Derek is shocked to see tears in her eyes.

“Brae—“ he starts, but Braeden cuts him off with a hug.

“Thank you,” She says, muffled into his shirt.

Derek wraps his arms around her and squeezes her tightly.  When she pulls back she takes his hand and they walk like that down the sidewalk.

They stop to stare at almost all of them. Some of them traditional, some of them bizarre, and at the end of the strip she stops him and walks out in front of him.

“Smile,” She says and pulls out her phone.  And before he can even protest the flash is going off and he closes his eyes tight because its too bright.  Braeden laughs, and its light and lovely. Derek opens one eye and watches her walk back towards him looking down at her phone. She turns it for him to see.

“I look dumb,” Derek grumbles.

“I know,” She says and grins down at the phone. “ I’m going to send it to everyone.”

Derek rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything as she attaches the picture to a group message and sends it out.

“Now come here,” She says and puts her arm around his neck in efforts to pull him down to her level. She positions the camera out in front of them with the screen showing them and the lights behind them.

“Smile ,” She says softly And Derek tries, he does but he really hates  taking pictures.  She looks at him and head-butts the side of his face lightly, which startles a laugh out of Derek. “Come on!”

Braeden snaps the picture and when she pulls it into review it; she looks at him and smiles. “I love it.”

He loves it too.

That night when Braeden is debating the best way to loose to Derek at scrabble:

“I’m up by like a hundred points Brae.”

“Shh, I’m trying to concentrate.”

Derek pulls out his phone and scrolls past all of the jokes and clicks on the picture of him in front of the lights and saves it.

He attaches it to a group message to Peter, Cora and Laura.

_Merry Christmas – love, Derek._

He presses send.

He sits restlessly for five minutes before his phone buzzes. 

_What a dork. Happy Xmas_

He smiles down at Laura’s text and soon after one from Cora comes in.

_OMG D is that a sad emoticon on your hat. BHAHAHAHA._

Derek rolls his eyes and is about to respond when one from Peter comes through.

_Nephew, I can assure you we know no one else with the name of Derek who looks like you. No need to sign your text message._

Derek just texts back.

_Shut up._

When he looks up Braeden is writing down her points and he glances at the board then glares up at her.

She gives him a faux innocent look.

“How many times did you go?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Braeden.”

“Protégé.”

“Braeden.”

“Pro—“

Derek reaches for her and starts to poke her sides and then starts tickling her.

“Okay, stop!” She says laughing helplessly. “I went five times.”

Derek stops tickling her and looks down at her. “You cheated.”

“Ah,” she says and grins. “I bent the rules.  Besides you weren’t paying attention.”

He smirks and nods,” I guess you’re right.”

She takes in a deep breath and Derek looks down and watches the rise and fall of her chest. It’s then that he realizes that he still on top of her from when he started to tickle her. He scrambles backwards, knocking the table, and makes the scrabbles pieces shift across the board.

“Shit,” Derek says and then looks at Braeden as she jumps up in celebration.

“I won,” She says thrusting the tally sheet in his face.

“You cheated,” Derek says but he can’t help but smile as she starts to dance around the table.

Derek gets to his feet, feeling lighter than he has in years as his phone continues to buzz sporadically on the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the absolute best. Thank you so much for all all of the support. I'm stunned by all of the comments and messages I've received after the last chapter. 
> 
> I hope you like this one too, but I suspect you'll mostly want to come at me with pitchforks. 
> 
> As always, I'd love to know your thoughts!

The following week passes without fanfare. Derek sends and receives a few texts a day from his family, mostly Cora. She tells him about life in San Francisco, more disturbingly life with Peter, and tells him that she misses him and Beacon Hills. She tries to call him a few times, and he stares at the incoming call in mild panic until the screen fades to black. He waits a little while before he shoots a text; ‘Sorry I missed your call, I was out for a run’, or “Hey. Was down for a nap,’ and his favorite one ‘phone was on silent, you need something?”  Cora’s reply to that one doesn’t come for a few days. ‘Just wanted to hear your voice.’

Guilt stabs at Derek, leaving him short of breath and nauseous. He puts his head down on the kitchen table and closes his eyes, taking several deep breaths in, trying to calm his nerves. That’s how Braeden finds him 45 minutes later, still feeling oddly uneasy.

His eyes are open, but he’s not really looking at anything, just staring out, unfocused. Braeden steps into view and ways a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Derek. Is this some kind of fugue state your over-stimulated protégé mind is going through?”

Derek eyes cut to her and she smiles. “There we go. What’s going on?” She asks and puts a hand at the back of his neck, rubbing a soft circle pattern into his skin. He closes his eyes and sighs out heavily.  She stops rubbing. Her hand moves down to his shoulder and shakes it lightly. “Derek?”

When he opens his eyes again she’s kneeling down next to him, her face pinched with concern. He sighs again and sits up. “I’m good, just zoned out I guess.” She looks at him, not convinced, and he tries to smile as he shrugs, “Probably was a fugue state. It must feel great to be right about something for a change.”

She scoffs then hits the back of his head as she stands back up.  “It does, you should try it every now an then,” She says and pulls the seat next to him out and sits down. She leans back and props her legs on the table and smirks at him. For a second he can’t think because he’s caught off guard by her happiness. He’s seen it flicker in and out in the past few days and he’s helped when he could, but sometimes his efforts don’t work.

She lifts an eyebrow at him and grins, “Are you blacking out again?”

He smiles back and shakes his head, “I’m just tired,” He says and crosses his arms as he leans his head to loll on the back of the chair. “What’s up?”

“What are you doing tomorrow?” She asks.

“Um, not sure. Why?”

“Well what do you normally do on New Years Eve?” Derek stares blankly at her for a long few seconds before her face breaks out into a shocked smile. “You forgot?”

Derek scoffs and turns his face away from her to look at the ceiling, trying to play it off as he counts back the days in his head. “No.”

“You are hopeless,” She says with a small laugh, “Anyway, there’s a party over at Seafox tomorrow. My, um, friend from work invited us.”

Derek tilts his head at her. “Us?” She shrugs.  He sighs and tilts his head back.

“Come on, what else are you going to be doing?”

“Um, not that?”

“Protégé.”

“Braeden.”

“Derek.”

Derek looks to her then, recognizing the serious tone of her voice. She takes a deep breath and looks away from him then down at her fingernails before she idly starts to chip away at the nail polish.

“I just figured that we could both use a fun night out,” She moves her feet back from the table and pulls them in to her body so she can rest her chin on her knees. A few seconds later she wraps her arms around her knees and sighs. “You don’t have to come. But—“

“I’ll come,” Derek says throat suddenly dry, he clears it and stands. He walks behind her and puts both hands on her shoulders and squeezes. She leans her head back and stares up at him. “It’ll be fun.”

She smiles and then unfolds her self from the chair and hugs him.  “This will be good for us.”

Derek tries to believe that.

+

The two of them lounge around the house the next day, watching the last few holiday films programmed on some of the channels. Kevin is just about to be reunited with his family when Braeden lifts her legs from their spot on Derek’s lap and stands.

“Where are you going?”

“Gotta get ready for the party,” She says and stretches. Derek does not stare at the strip of skin revealed at her lower back.  He looks to the clock on the wall and frowns.

“It’s not for another hour or so,” Derek says and looks back to her.

She shrugs and starts to make her way towards the hallway. “Yeah well I haven’t really decided what to wear yet so…” She trails off as she leaves his view and he stares at the spot where she disappeared. When he turns back to the TV screen the title card for Home Alone 2 is showing.

Derek goes up stares to change about 30 minutes before they are suppose to leave. He can hear Braeden’s music coming from the bathroom as he passes it on the way to his room. He grabs his change of clothes and heads back out to take a shower downstairs. He dresses in a simple but thick long-sleeved black shirt and some dark jeans. He’s bent over putting his boots on when he hears shoes clacking down the hallway.

He looks up and finds the source of the clacking; a shiny pair of laced up black boots over leather black leggings.  As his eyes continue up to a shirt that looks a bit too big  but hangs off of her bare shoulder in a way that’s probably fashionable. When he looks up her hair is curled to one side, covering  some of her scars.

“You done yet?” Braeden says sarcastically.  

Derek smiles and looks back down at his shoes. “ Sorry.” He finishes tying them up and then stands. They stare at each other for a few seconds and Derek loses his battle against his willpower and looks back down at her outfit and clears his throat. “You look…”

Braeden crosses her arms.

“Really pretty,” Derek finishes and rolls his eyes as he turns to put on his jacket.

Braeden comes up next to him and shoulder bumps him. He looks at her and she smiles, “Thanks.”

The walk to the Seafox house shouldn’t take them very long, but they keep running into people along the way. The school is so small that pretty much everyone knows everyone or at least has some vague recognition of them, but almost everyone knows Braeden either from school or McKays or one of the various other jobs she has in town. They can barely make it a few yards at a time without someone grabbing her attention from across the walk way, or rushing up to hug her as they speed by them towards the house party. He can’t pinpoint why, but Derek feels weird about it.

When they finally get to the house, there’s a fair amount of people in the house already. He says about as much to Braeden as they shed their coats in the room designated.

“Yeah, It’ll probably pick up a little bit more, but mostly everyone is still at home so,” She shrugs and turns to look at him and then smiles and grabs his arm. “Come on let’s go get a drink.”

As they make their way throughout the house, Derek notices that there are more people than he originally thought.  He turns to say something to Braeden, but she is hugging a short brunet with glasses. He clears his throat and looks around the room in search for some drinks and finds a beer cooler and grabs two. When he turns back to Braeden she’s flocked by a few more people talking in a semi-circle. He’s about to give her the beer anyway when a guy comes out of nowhere and hands her one.  She looks at the guy and smiles, and then turns back to the group.

And standing there staring like an idiot is when Derek figures it out: he’s never had to compete for her attention, not really. They’ve spent so much of the last week, and if he’s honest, the last month practically attached at the hip. It’s not like he needs her to pay attention to him, and he doesn’t need her to have a good time. He can totally function at this party without her.

He sits one of the beers down as he turns to find a better part of the party. He wonders out into the common space, which is massive in comparison to their little Peach House. He cracks open his beer and takes a sip from it. He can’t help the grimace, it’s cheap and taste terrible, but he’s not going back in there for something else. Besides, the second sip goes down a little easier.

He looks over to the person standing closest and waits for them to make eye contact. When the guy looks his way he gives him a stiff ‘what’s up?’ nod.  The guy looks startled and turns away quickly. Derek frowns.

“Do I need to kick that guys ass?” Braeden asks, suddenly at his side.

“What?” Derek asks looking at her, his frown deepening.

“Do I need to kick his ass because I will kick it real good,” Braeden says and extends her drink out for Derek to hold, preparing for a fight.

Derek looks around.

“Who?”

“That guy you been staring at for the past 10 minutes,” Braeden says and points to the guy that he’d just tried to bond with.

“What, no I was trying to talk to him… I guess he’s busy with that group over there,” Derek says wonderingly.  He looks back at Braeden when she doesn’t say anything and she’s just staring at him, dumbfounded.

“What?”

“You are unbe… Derek you socially awkward puppy, how would you have made it in the world without the likes of me at your side. Come on,” She says and drags him over to where she was before. “If you want to talk to people. The trick is to actually talk. Hey guys! This is Derek.”

Derek looks at her, shocked that she didn’t call him protégé. She looks at him, a pointed look and then jerks her head towards the people she just introduced him to.

“Oh,” He says and turns to the small group. “Uh, hi?”

“This is Taylor, but everyone calls him Greenberg, Jackson, Lydia, and Danny,” Braeden says as she points to the three people.

“I’ve seen you,” says a pretty redheaded girl. “At the Christiansen Lab. You’re Professor Deaton’s assistant aren’t you?”

“Something like that,” Derek says. “ I’m technically just a lab assistant, but yeah I work closely with Deaton.”

“And you’re a freshman?” A tall blond guys standing next to the redhead asks skeptically.

“Yes.”

“And you’re working in the Christiansen Lab?”

“Yes.”

“With Professor Deaton?”

“Yes?” _What is with this guy?_ Derek looks at Braeden who is covering her mouth with her hands and he can tell she’s trying not to laugh.

“Interesting. Well lucky you,” the guy says even though it’s clear that he means anything but that.

“Yeah,” Derek deadpans.

Braeden is about to say something when another guy walks up.

“Braeden, hey!” He says and taps her shoulder.  Braeden spins around and smiles.

“Hey!” She says and gives him a hug. She turns back and looks at the group and pats the guy on the chest. “Guys, this is Deputy.”

The guy groans and pulls her into a tight side hug. “I missed you! I am Jordan by the way.” He says to the group.  

“He’s one of the bouncers at McKays,” Braeden explains.

“And I don’t mean to intrude,” He says to the group and then looks down at Braeden. “But can I borrow you for a second.”

“Yeah,” She says excitedly and they walk off towards another group of people.

Derek frowns and stares after them.

The redheaded girl from before chimes in, “You do know that glaring at them won’t make them come back any sooner.”

Derek turns to glare at her instead.

“Okaaaay,” She says and turns to the annoyed guy from earlier. “Let’s go get another drink.”

They leave Derek behind with two other people, who he can’t even muster up the energy to attempt a conversation with, and he sends them a half-assed smile when they try. He’s too busy looking at Braeden and that guy.

Someone bumps into Derek at some point and he’s turned around by the force of it.

“My bad man,” The guy slurs out, patting gingerly at Derek’s shoulder before he continues walking.

Derek grunts and looks back towards Braeden, but she’s not there. Neither is the guy.

Derek lets out a frustrated sigh and scans the room for them.  Nothing.  After a few minutes of searching, he gives up and considers going home. He could text her, tell her that he took off. Just so she wouldn’t worry. He could easily text her to ask where she is too, but no, he won’t do that either.

As the night falls someone starts a mini bonfire in the backyard, and the party starts to move outside. Derek considers it his cue to leave. It has a perfect view of the bay and of the fireworks show that is happening at midnight but Derek is definitely not in the mood for that.

He’s just turned to go and find his jacket when a hand grabs around his elbow. He turns and finds Braeden giving him a concerned look.

“Hey,” She says softly. ”You okay?”

Derek gives her a tense smile. “Sure.”

She lifts her eyebrows, “Really?”

Derek sighs. “Okay, I don’t want to go out by the fire.” He doesn’t say _and you left me by myself for the last hour_ because that would be pathetic.

She gives him a knowing look and then nods.

“Come on,” She says and grabs his hand.  She pulls him into the kitchen where there are a few people sitting around a table. Derek notices the Jordan guy from before and also one of the people he met earlier, but he can’t recall his name.

She pulls out a chair for him and then goes to the fridge and gets a beer. She hands it to Derek with a small smile and then looks around the table.

“Okay where was I,” She says.

“You were telling us about the drunk guy—“

“Ah! Right,” She says excitedly and launches animatedly back into the story.

Derek smiles at her as she talks, laughs, gestures. Her enthusiasm is catching and to be honest it’s the most he’s seen of it since she’s been back. Part of him is a little sad that it’s not because of him.

He takes a long pull of his beer. When he puts it down, he looks up and catches Jordan’s eye. He’s looking at him like he’s trying to figure him out, and when he notices Derek looking back at him he gives him a small nod before he looks back at Braeden, just in time to laugh at whatever joke she just made.

Derek scowls at him and then picks his beer back up and busies himself with scratching at the label.

He looses track of time and before he knows it the group around the table is getting up and heading towards the back porch.

Derek stands but doesn’t follow. Braeden turns to look at him.

“Umm, you can go. I think I’m just going to go home.”

Braeden looks out to the back yard and then back at him. She walks out of the kitchen and Derek sighs, but he’s only allowed a few moments of a pity party because soon she comes back with their jackets.

“Here,” She says and tosses him his jacket.  He catches it and gives her a curious look as she goes to the refrigerator and grabs an open bottle of what looks like champagne. 

When Derek finishes putting on his jacket she nods her head towards the door, “Follow me.”

Derek follows behind her towards the staircase and then up and down a hallway to a room at the end.

She knocks softly. “Hello?”

There’s no response.

Braeden smirks and twist the doorknob slowly. She peeks in before she pushes the door all the way and gestures him in.

“Whose room is this?” Derek asks. “And why are we here?”

Braeden ignores him and hands him the bottle.  She walks to the window and slides it open.

“Holy crap its cold!” She says and then sticks her head out of the window. Seconds later she’s pulling herself the rest of the way through until she disappears from view.

“Braeden?” Derek calls hesitantly from his spot inside.

She pops her head into view. 

“Come on,” Braeden says and grabs the bottle of champagne she’d sat down to open the window. She pulls back only to reappear a second later. “And grab that blanket off the bed.”

Derek is about to protest when she calls out. “It’s fine. Stop freaking out.”

He scoffs and grabs the blanket from the end of the bed and goes to the window. He peaks his head out and see’s her sitting a few feet away. Derek tosses the blanket at her, and with a heavy sigh, Derek pulls himself through the window.

“One day you’re going to get us kicked out of school,” He says as he crawls to the spot next to her.

She snorts and wraps the blanket around his shoulders as he sits down. Then she wraps an arm around his back and leans her head on his shoulder.

She lifts the bottle of champagne to her lips and takes a small sip from it and then hands it to Derek.

From their view, he can see the top of the bonfire, but it’s not as intimidating as it would have been down stairs.

“Are you thinking about us falling off the roof?” Braeden asks him.

“I wasn’t. Now I am.”

She shakes slightly and tightens the arm around him. “ I’m not gonna let you die.”

Derek grins. “ Good to know I’ve got your protection.”

She hums her agreement and sits in silence as they listen to the muffled sounds of the party below.

Derek adjusts the blanket to pull it closer around them. Braeden pulls back a little and clears her throat like she’s about to say something to him. He looks at her expectantly, but she just stays silent. She reaches across Derek and grabs the bottle of champagne and drinks a little bit. Derek looks back out at the view.

“Hey, Derek?” She asks after a few minutes have passed. She sits the bottle down next to her and he turns to look at her.  “Thank you for being here for me,” She says and looks down at her hands. “I know I’m a pain in the ass sometimes, but …”

She trails off and looks up at him. From the dim light provided by the bonfire below, he can see tears brimming in her eyes. “It meant a lot to me,” She says and looks out at the fire. She shrugs. “It never really mattered before. How many friends I had or who liked me and who didn’t, because, stupidly, I knew I’d always have gramps to be there in my corner.”

Derek waits a she takes a few calming breaths, “I know I said we were family at Thanksgiving, but I don’t think I actually believed it until now. So…I mean it. Thank you.”

Below them, the party starts to chant a countdown to midnight. _Fifteen. Fourteen, Thirteen._

Derek turns a little towards Braeden and leans his head against hers.

“I will always be here,” He says softly. _Ten. Nine. Eight._

She sighs and leans in a little closer, there nose bumping softly. Braeden reaches up and cups his face with cold hands, and Derek’s brain short circuits.  One of her thumbs caresses his cheek and he tries to remember how to breathe when she leans in to kiss him softly. It shoots a spark of electricity through him that he can feel in his toes.

He can feel her smile against his lips, and he can feel his lips turn up into a matching one.

Theirs a chorus of noise below them, and Braeden pulls back when the fire works start going off.

They both stare up at the haze of colors polluting the sky. Braeden lets one of her hands fall from Derek’s face. He picks it up and brings it to his lips for a soft kiss.

“Happy New Year,” He says softly.

She smirks back at him. “Happy New Year Protégé.”

He smiles again, giddy and light, and puts his arm around her shoulders. He pulls her impossibly closer to him.

Braeden reaches back blindly for the bottle of champagne and tips it over by accident. It starts to roll down the roof, sloshing liquid as it does, and she hurries behind it in efforts to stop it.

Derek reaches for her, grabs her around the waist, and pulls her against him before she can get too far.

“You’re going to fall off!” He says when she glares at him over her shoulder. Seconds later they hear the bottle smash to the ground and people scream below.

“Oh my god,” Braeden says loudly and then covers her mouth.

“Where the hell did that come from,” Someone says from down below.

“Is everyone okay?” asks another voice. There’s a murmur of reassurance and Braeden lets out a snort behind her hands.

Derek puts his hand over hers and starts to shake with laughter too.

“Did you guys hear that?”

“Is some one up there?”

“Run,” Braeden says getting up to her feet. She hurries towards the window and starts to climb back through.

Derek follows behind her and they are just at the door when he remembers the blanket.

“Shit, the blanket,” he says and turns to go and get it, but Braeden grabs his hand and pulls him out into the hallway.

“No time,” She says. They hear footsteps on the stairs and she pushes him into the bathroom to their right.

She doesn’t close the door but she steps inside the shower and gestures for him to follow. After he does, she slowly slides the curtain closed, just as the footsteps get closer. They can hear the voices of people walking pass the bathroom to check in the other room.

Standing close against her, Derek can feel Braeden shaking.

“Are you okay,” He asks, his arms immediately wrapping around her waist.

A light laugh escapes her in the darkness of the room and he rolls his eyes, relieved. “You’re enjoying this too much.”

“Shh!” she says softly and puts her index finger to his lips.  She drags her finger down slowly, making his bottom lip curve down with the motion, and his eyes close briefly getting caught in the intimate moment. He leans down to kiss her again as she leans past him to peek through the shower curtain. Derek pulls back quickly, feeling embarrassed.

“I think they’ve given up,” she says still practically buzzing with happy energy.

Derek turns to peek with her and he can see people walking back towards the stairs.

After a few minutes of nothing, Braeden pulls back the curtain and steps out. She holds her hand out to stop Derek from following and then tiptoes over to the door and pokes her head out.

“Okay,” She says softly and smirks at him over her shoulder. “Coast is clear.”

Derek steps out of the shower and they walk out together. When they get to the edge of the stairs, Braeden stoops down low to check for people.

“Okay,” She hisses and hurries down the stairs. Derek follows at a slower pace.

“Let’s get out of here,” Derek says and nods his head towards the door.

Braeden grins and is about to say something when someone calls her name. They turn around to see Jordan heading their way.

“Missed you two at the countdown,” Jordan says and puts his arm around Braeden’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, we were, um, around,” Braeden says, pointedly not looking at him.

He smirks and puts his hands in his pockets before he looks at Jordan.

“We were actually just leaving,” Derek says and nods his head towards the door again.

“What? You can’t leave now, the party just got started!” Jordan says excitedly. He turns to look at Braeden and frowns slightly. “You can’t leave yet.”

Braeden looks from Derek to Jordan and then back at Derek. “One more hour?” She asks hesitantly.

“Yeah!” Jordan says and pulls her into a tighter hug. He turns his attention back to Derek. “ And hey man, if you’re tired you’re more than welcomed to crash in my room.  I have some sleeping bags that I’m sure are gonna be used at some point tonight.”

He laughs, smile wide on his face. Derek want’s to hate him. He’s so fucking nice though.

“No I’m good, but thank you,” He says.

“Alright, well come find me if you change your mind,” He says and then turns to Braeden. “Shots?”

“Shots!” she agrees.

Jordan leads her away, his arm still around her shoulders.  Derek rolls his eyes but he forces a smile when Jordan looks back over his shoulder.

“Come on Derek!”

In the kitchen, Derek accepts the shot glass when it’s passed his way.

“Alright there are one, two, three… eight, nine of us? Let’s go around and say what we look forward to this year.” Jordan says.

“Ugh, what a boy scout,” The guy from earlier says.

“Shut up Jackson, I think it’s a great Idea,” The redheaded girl says. 

“Thanks Lydia,” Jordan says and raises his shot glass in her direction.

“I’ll even go first.,” she says and winks at him. She purses her lips for a few seconds and then smiles. “ I look forward to getting accepted into the Christensen Program by the end of this year.”

Derek can feel his face heat up.

The girl elbows the Jackson guy and he glares at her before sighing dramatically. “I hope to travel more this summer.”

The taller, tan, guy next to him rolls his eyes. “Because the Hamptons were such a drag?”

Jackson puts a hand to his heart and gives the guy an expression of faux sincerity. “Danny, you know the struggle is real.”

Danny scoffs and lifts his glass a little higher. “I want to do more independent research on—”

A few people groan and Danny shrugs innocently.

“No dude, pick something else!” Jackson says at his side.

“Fine,” Danny says and stares at his shot. He smirks and looks up at the group. “I want to find a cute boyfriend.”

Jackson rolls his eyes and mutters something about standards to which Danny just smirks even wider.

“Derek,” Jordan says. “Your turn.”

Derek scowls in response to the encouraging smile he’s getting. “Um, I want to…” He looks over to Braeden and she gives him an expectant eyebrow lift. He sighs. “I don’t know what I want.”

“Just anything,” Jordan says.

Derek is about to huff out _I want you to shut up,_ but Braeden cuts in. “We’ll let you think on it. Greenberg, your turn.”

Derek doesn’t hear what the next few people have to say and he barely listens to Jordan mutter something about saving animals that has all the other people in the room practically swooning.

When it’s Braeden’s turn she clears her throat a few times and looks down at the floor. “I want to make my grandpa proud.”

Jordan leans down and kisses the side of her head and whispers something in her ear. She looks up at him and gives him a watery smile.  Derek narrows his eyes at Jordan before Braeden speaks again and he looks back to her. “Alright! Enough of that!” she says and blinks a few times. “Happy New Year!”

“Yeah! Happy New Year Bitches!” Jackson yells out and slams back his shot. “Whoooo!”

“Alright then,” Lydia says giving Jackson an unimpressed look and downs her shot with the rest of the group.

Derek grimaces as the liquid burns down his throat.

“Another!” Someone calls and they start to line up the shot glasses again.

Derek sits his shot glass down and slips out while every one is gathered around to pick up their refilled glass.

He can feel his mood dwindling and he doesn’t want to ruin it for them, well really for Braeden.

He’s half way back to his house when the steady thump of footsteps makes him turn and look behind him.

Braeden is running towards him.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, concern coloring his voice.

She lets out a deep breath and shakes her head. “Nothing, just come on,” She says and points towards the house.

They walk for a bit longer, Braeden catching her breath, before Derek speaks again.

“You didn’t have to leave,” He says softly.

She tightens her grip around his arm and then shrugs. “Didn’t feel like being there without you.”

Derek can’t help but smile. He pulls his arm from her grasp and wraps it around her shoulders, pulling her in close against him.

They are silent for the majority of the walk back, minus the quiet humming coming from Braeden. When they are about 50 feet away from the house, a strong gust of wind takes them by surprise and Braeden tucks her face against his side. Oddly amused by it, Derek in turn opens his jacket and wraps her head in the fabric, pulling her against his chest.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Braeden asks pushing slightly against him. Derek can tell that she’s laughing so he doesn’t bother letting go.

“I’m protecting you from the wind,” He says and then pulls his jacket back enough to see her looking up at him.

“How chivalrous.” She deadpans and then pokes him in the side. He let’s go and she straightens up, readjusting her jacket. She bites down on her lip, and Derek knows she’s trying not to smile. He’s doing it enough for the both of them.

She puts a hand to his chest and moves to stand in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. Her eyes trail down to his lips, and she moves in a little closer. Derek closes his eyes as she leans in towards him. He feels the barest touch of lips against his before she whispers, “Last one in does the dishes.”

Derek opens his eyes slowly. And just like that, he’s left staring dumbly as she races towards the house.

Inside, Derek finds Braeden struggling out of her jacket, breathless and panting. Derek takes off his gloves and puts them in the pockets before he moves in to help her disentangle her limbs. She smiles up at him once she’s free and starts to unravel her scarf  slowly. Derek reaches up and traces a finger down one line of scars.  Braeden sighs and tilts her head towards his touch before she suddenly walks away into the kitchen, the soft clack of the heels echoing loudly against the walls.

Derek considers following her, but decides to change into something else first. On his way up, his mind replays the night; the anxiety and resentment upon first arriving to the party, Braeden coming to find him. He trips over the top step, and glares down at it before he continues to his room, his thoughts back on the awkward encounters with the new people he met at the party. He remembers Braeden taking him up to the room, and pulls his shirt over his head. Goose bumps break across his skin as he remembers sitting on the roof with Braeden. Or maybe it’s the memory of the warmth of her body against him, the two of them trading heat, that makes his body shiver.

He touches his fingers to his lips, and remembers her mouth against his. He smiles again.

He’s only had time to put on pajama pants when Braeden walks in carrying her shoes in one hand and a glass of water in the other.  She kicks the door closed behind her.

Derek’s stomach flutters excitedly as she walks further into the room, to _his_ side of the room. She puts the glass of water on his desk, near his bed. He frowns a little, but before he can say anything she walks back to her side of the room.  He’s about to ask her what it’s for when she starts to pull her shirt over her head, and Derek’s brain blanks. Derek can feel himself tracking her every move and he frantically picks up his phone to distract himself.

After months of living in the same room with each other, they’ve definitely become a bit desensitized to seeing each other undress, but something about tonight feels different. Derek feels like he’s looking at some part of her he hasn’t been allowed to see before, and more importantly hasn’t been invited to see.

“Texting your family?”

Derek blinks at his dark phone screen then up at Braeden.  She’s in a loose T-shirt and tights and is pulling hairpins out of her hair. The strips of curls distract Derek as they fall out of the clasps. 

“Derek?”

He blinks away again and nods. He stands and starts to pull back the blankets on his bed. Her cool hand at his back makes him look over his shoulder sharply, but she’s not even looking at him.  She takes a sip of water and then sits it back on the desk.  “Oh,” She says and goes back over to her side and grabs her phone and takes the blanket off of her bed. “Gonna need this with Mr. Blanket Thief.”

“Is that my new nickname?”

She rolls her eyes but grins and pushes him. He falls back against the bed with a playful huff and then scoots in close to the wall. Braeden sits next to him, back towards him. She idly runs her hands through her curls as she looks at something on her phone.

Derek stares up, mesmerized by the movement of her hands, over and over through her hair, and lets it lull him into a light sleep.

He opens his eyes, dazed, when he feels his bed dip beside him. Braeden leans her head against his bare chest and drapes her arm over his back.

“Tonight was fun,” she says against his skin. Heat blossoms out from that point and rolls down to the pit of his stomach, and Derek gulps, mouth suddenly dry. He pulls back a little and they just look at each other for a bit. Derek is very aware of her hand at the small of his back and can feel every brush of a fingertip. Then she pulls back. “You okay?”

Derek nods quickly and moves his hand to her hair, needing to touch. He runs his fingers through the thick strands. “I mostly had fun tonight too.”

“Mostly?” Derek smiles and shrugs. Braeden sighs and starts to rub softly at his back again. “You never did your wish for the new year,” she says looking up at him.

Derek takes a deep breath and looks down at her. “I want,” he pauses. _I want you._ “I want to be happy,” Derek says and smiles. He leans in to kiss her forehead softly. In turn she wraps her arm around him tighter and lets out a heavy sigh against his skin.  As he drifts back into sleep he can feel a light touch of lips against his chest.

+

He wakes up to warmth pressed above him, and a soft trail of wet kisses down his neck make him groan loudly. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. He leans his head back against the pillow and exposes his neck more. She sucks a mark into his skin, and his arms tighten around her as he involuntarily bucks up against her. “Shit,” He breathes out, before their lips meet in a messy kiss. She trails down to his neck again and he turns his head to kiss her and is met with a face full of hair that smells … different.  She bites down at his neck and grinds down against him slowly. “Fuck, Braeden,” he gasps out.

The kissing stops and a short dark laugh makes him freeze and open his eyes in shock. Kate looms over him, evil smirk in place, and slides her hand up his chest.

“Guess again,” She says before she closes a hand around his throat.

Derek wakes up and scrambles out of the bed, taking in large gulping breaths on all fours on the floor. A hand touches his back and he flinches away from it, moving to the other side of the room.

“Derek,” Braeden calls out. “It’s okay it’s me.”

Derek sits and leans against the edge of Braeden’s bed, still trying to catch his breath. She walks over to him slowly and kneels down.

“There you go,” She says as his breathing gets back under control. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Her hands cup his face and she looks at him for a few seconds before she leans in. Derek gets a flash of Kate leaning in to kiss him and he turns his head. Braeden plants a soft kiss to his cheek, and Derek can’t breathe again.

“I have to go.” He says and stumbles to his feet.

“Okay, yeah lets go downstairs.”

“No!” Derek shouts. Braeden hesitates on the floor and he balls his fist and rubs at his eyes frustrated. “You… just stay here. I need … just stay here.”

He turns and walks out the room before she can say anything to stop him.

+

The next morning Derek wakes up to the sound of the TV turning on, Braeden is sitting at the edge of the couch in a sweater that he thinks is his, and is taking a sip from a mug.

“There’s more coffee in the kitchen,” She says after a few seconds. She doesn’t look at him. Derek nods and gingerly pulls himself off the couch, his back protesting, and walks towards the kitchen.

He’s taking his first sip when he hears footsteps behind him. “You Okay?”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Because you haven’t had dreams that bad since… September? I think.”

Derek just takes another long sip of his coffee, not turning to look at her. He can feel the tension in the room, her desire to give him the space she thinks he needs wavering on the edge of her patience. He hears her take a deep breath in and steady’s himself for a fight.

“Derek,” Braeden says. “You can talk to me about it. Is this about your family? Your parents?”

“Brae—“ Derek starts, the cup in his hand starting to tremble a little bit.

“Let me be here for you, Derek,” Braeden cuts in, close behind him. Her hands hardly have time to touch his back before he reaches around to grab one of her wrists tightly and stop her.

“Don’t,” He says and lets her go when she pulls away from him. She takes a step back and Derek turns back towards the counter, toward his coffee, away from her confused, almost hurt, look. “Let it go.”

There is silence for a while and Derek closes his eyes, flashes of Kate make his hands clinch around the cup.

“Did I do something?” Braeden asks.

“I just can’t have… I can’t be what you want me to be Braeden.”

“What does that even mean?,” Braeden huffs out a loud sigh and pulls him around to face her. “Look if this is about the kiss—“

“You want me to be someone I can’t be any more,” Derek starts, angry all of a sudden. Realization flashes across Braeden’s face and she starts to shake her head. Derek hurries to continue. “She… You—“

“Yeah Kate fucked you up. I get that,” Braeden says. “But I’m not her.”

“This isn’t about her.”

“Yes it is!” Braeden says and runs her hands through her hair and groans. “You are so stupid some times.”

“Your regular protégé,” Derek counters. Braeden huffs out a bitter laugh.

They stare at each other for a little bit before Braeden steps forward again and puts her hands on the counter behind him. It feels like she’s caging him in. She looks him square in the eyes and takes a deep breath. Derek can feel goosebumps break out against his skin.

“You said you want to be happy,” She says, stepping in a little closer. Braeden’s hands move in to close around Derek’s back.  He looks away from her. “You can trust—”

“I can’t trust you, not like that. I can’t do that again,” Derek says still looking away from her. After a few minutes Braeden steps away and walks off. Derek stands there frozen, missing her warmth against him. He stands there for a long time, not really knowing what to do. He reaches behind him for his cup of coffee, now cold, and when he turns to refill his cup, he hears the front door open and slam shut.

*

Braeden doesn’t come back to the house that day.  He sits out in the common room, not waiting for her. He’s reading the same page for three hours for… reasons. 

He gets a text around midnight.

From Erica: Braeden is staying at a friends house tonight.

From Erica: What happened?

From Erica: ?????

Before he can even text her back she’s calling him and he doesn’t hesitate in sending it to voicemail. He put’s his book aside and leaves it and his phone behind as he heads to bed.

*

Derek spends the next day lying in his bed staring, mostly at the glass of water Braeden left on his desk next to his bed.

His mind races back and forth from thoughts of Kate to Braeden, to his family back in Beacon Hills and his roommates here in Bar Harbor.  Every time he thinks about all the good here an image of Kate or caskets or crying sisters cloud his thoughts. He’s so afraid of letting more people in to his life. That’s just more people he can lose. More than that, more people he can lose himself to.

He’s not sure what time it is, when he hears footsteps down the hall. He turns over on his side just as the door opens.

“So is the coast clear?”

Derek’s body stiffens as he recognizes the voice.

“Yeah, I guess,” Braeden says softly. He can hear her pulling open drawers and the two of them are silent for a long time as she moves around the room.

“Not that I mind,” Jordan starts. “But since when do you want to spend the night with me. Many nights... by the looks of it.”

“Do you not want me to come?” Braeden asks quietly. Derek closes his eyes and suppresses a sigh.

“Braeden,” Jordan says. There’s a shuffle of feet. “ Look at me. Of course I do. Come here.”

Derek really wants to turn around and look.

“I love spending time with you,” He says and takes a deep breath. “We’re going to have fun. Come on! Listen tonight ,after our shifts we’ll go to Jackson’s party. Take a load off. Yeah, sound fun? There’s a smile. You ready?”

“Umm yeah,” Braeden says and clears her throat.” Give me a sec I’ll be down in a bit.”

“I’ll get this,” Jordan says and then Derek can hear his footsteps trail off down the hall.

“I know you’re not asleep,” Braeden says. Derek sighs but doesn’t say anything. “ I’m going to be a Jordan’s for a while. So you don’t have to worry about me.  Not like you would. Because caring about people is a little to high on the human emotions scale for you.”

 _I do care,_ Derek thinks but doesn’t say.

“Whatever.” Braeden says and closes the door as she walks out.

*

Derek suffers in silence for almost a week. He’s just about to cook some lunch when the front door bursts open.

“Braeden?” Derek calls out.

“Do I look like I have Wonder Boy Parrish attached to my hip,” Jackson says as he and Lydia walk into the kitchen.

Derek opens his mouth to protest but Lydia holds up her hand to stop him. “They’re on the way.”

“What?” Derek says just as he starts to hear more voices. Soon after, Danny and Jordan come in carrying a cooler.

“B, where do you want this?” Jordan says as Danny drops his end.  He groans loudly as he’s forced to hunch over after it “Oh hey, I guess here is fine.” He says and stands up, stretching out his back. “Oh hey Derek.” Jordan waves. Derek just stares at him.

“What are you –“

“Deputy’s roommates are coming back today, and it is Parental Central over there, so we are moving the party here,” Braeden says coming into the room holding a bag. She sits it on the counter hard and looks at him with one brow quirked. “You gotta problem with that?”

“Brae—“

“Good,” Braeden cuts him off and starts to pull a bunch of snack foods out of the bag. Derek looks around at the small group. Lydia, Jackson and Danny are looking between each other with stunned looks on their faces, and when he looks to Jordan he’s got his arms crossed. He looks angry.  Derek rolls his eyes and sighs.  Looking down at his incomplete lunch and back to the bag of things Braeden is still pulling from, he reaches over and grabs a box of crackers from her as she pulls them out and starts to head towards the hallway.

“Hey those are mine!” Some one yells behind him.

“I really don’t care,” Derek grumbles and opens the box.

Derek locks himself in his room and slides down the door. He feels pathetic and lonely as their laughter drifts upstairs.  He sits there depressed and bored, stuffing bland crackers into his mouth for longer than he would like to admit, when someone knocks on his door. He stands up quickly, thankful for the excuse to be angry with someone and pulls open the door ready to yell at the disrupter, but comes up blank when he sees Boyd standing there.

“Why are you up here by yourself? I think they are playing some kind of drinking game.” Boyd says, pointing over his shoulder.

Derek looks at his watch. “It’s two in the after noon.”

Boyd shrugs and moves further into the room and sits on Derek’s bed.

“How was your break,” Derek asks.

Boyd sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “It’s just good to be back.”

“You want to talk about it?’ Derek asks.

“No,” Boyd says and sighs and then looks to Derek. “ I wanna talk about the new guy hanging all over Braeden.”

Derek scowls and stands. He grabs Boyd’s car keys off his desk and lobs them to him.

“Let’s go take your baby for a ride, she’s all gassed up for you,” Derek says.

“Nice try,” Boyd says and crosses his arms. “When I left you two were a half step away from a RomCom. What happen?”

“Boyd,” Derek says rubbing his hands in his eyes. “ Please.”

“What happened?”

“It’s just not going to happen! Okay,” Derek snaps. “I tried! I can’t do it.”

“You can’t do what?” Boyd asks.

“Be with her! Braeden!”

“Why?”

“I just,” Derek starts and then takes a deep breath. “ I’m just not ready and I don’t want to talk about it so can we please get out of this house.”

Boyd looks at him for a long moment before he nods and stands.  “Fine, lets go get some lunch.”

Boyd doesn’t bring it up again.  Not even when Derek pokes at him for information about his holiday break. He gets stoic and quiet. Sometimes he changes the subject but mostly he just looks off, lost in his own head.

The rest of the house comes back in similar style.

Erica arrives a few days after Boyd and looks like she’s two seconds from snapping as her mom helps her ‘settle back in’ before he and Boyd intervene. Derek volunteers to show her mom a bit of campus, and as they leave he can see Boyd pouring water into the teakettle.  When they come back an hour or so later, Erica is almost smiling, which almost immediately dims again when her mom starts to rattle off side effects they should be on the look out for from Erica’s new medicine.

Meredith shows early one morning and promptly locks herself in her room. There’s the start up of some loud music and seconds later Erica is slamming the door behind her and running up the stairs to Boyd’s room.

The twins come back in matching stages of brooding and hardly seem to want to talk to each other let alone the other roommates.  When any of them try to prod, it’s like Halloween all over again.

Isaac comes back when all of them, except Meredith and Braeden, are sitting down in the common room eating some take out. He pauses in the door way and looks at them.

He has his hood up, huge sunglasses on despite the overcast of the day, and Derek can see a cut on his lip.

Boyd starts to stand, but Isaac drops his bag and walks wordlessly down the hallway. A few seconds later the music in Meredith’s room stops.

As they sit down, staring dumbly at eat other, Derek feels like it’s the first day of meeting them all over again.  All of them lost and beaten, weighed down by their own problems. For the first time, in a very long time, he aches for Beacon Hills. 

He stays up late that night staring at the evaporation stains on the glass of water on his desk.  He tries to remember how long its been there, but his days seem to run together since...

His eyes drift over to the unoccupied space of the room, and a fresh wave of dread sweeps through him.

He gets up and grabs his phone and a sweater from his laundry basket.  He stays as quiet as he can, and slowly walks down the hallway. He pulls the sweater over his head and pauses for a second when the collar hits his nose. Vanilla.

“I’m an idiot,” Derek says as he walks into the kitchen. He flicks on the light switch and then immediately recoils and swears loudly.

“Fucking shit! Isaac!” Derek says, making the other boy flinch.  Derek takes a huge, calming breath, and when he speaks again it’s much more soothing. “Why on earth are you sitting here in the dark.”

“I didn’t want to wake anyone,” Isaac says softly.

Derek just looks at him for a long time. He takes in the slight tremor in his hands and the way his eyes dart off every surface of the room.  He moves in and slowly, not trying to spook him, and sits down in the chair next to him.

“I thought Braeden would be down here,” Isaac says after a few minutes of silence between the two of them. 

He’s about to tell him how it’s his fault that she’s not here, but that’s when it hits him; the missing link between all of them, the glue that held them together. He pulls out his phone and types out a message to Braeden.

From Derek: Isaac is back. He’s in bad shape. They all are.

Derek sits his phone down next to him and thinks back to the Braeden of the past month, the Braeden after losing the last person closest to her.  The guilt of pushing her away comes in crushing blows and his head sinks into his hands. It’s his fault if she’s too hard and cold to piece them back together again.

Without Braeden, they’re all just runaways with no safe place to go to.

The minutes tick on, and Derek and Isaac sit in misery, letting the time slip away with every aching second. Derek’s not sure how long they sit there, but muffled footsteps from outside make him look up in alarm.  Seconds later, the front door swings open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is out later than I thought. I've been out country and have had very little time to work on this. I will say, at this rate I have 2 or 3 chapters left. I hope to have it finished by the 5a premiere! 
> 
> Once again, you guys are awesome, and I hope you liked this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

“Don’t we lock that anymore,” Braeden asks as she closes the door behind her. Her form in the hallway is dimly visible from the light bleeding out from the kitchen, but Derek can tell that she’s stopped to take off her coat and scarf. A few seconds later, she comes into the kitchen with an audible sigh.

Her eyes meet Derek’s first, and he wants to pour every ounce of his sadness, maybe regret, that he’s feeling into that look. But after a few seconds she turns to Isaac and her expression hardens as she takes in the bruising and cuts on his face.

She reaches out slowly and ruffles his hair a little bit and then leans down and hugs him from behind. She leans her cheek against his and smiles a little sadly. “I missed you, Flounder.”

Isaac huffs out a laugh and turns his face into her neck and grips her arms, wrapped around him, tighter.

Derek watches the two of them for a few long moments before he gets up. He knows his roll in this. For him, this is the easy part. He walks over to the cabinet and pulls out the teakettle. He lets the monotony wash over him and dull his senses. He doesn’t even recognize that he’s alone until he turns around to ask what type of tea they want and sees light coming in from the common area.

Derek brings out a few filled mugs along with some various tea bags and sugar packets and sits them down on the table in front of them.

“Thanks, Derek,” Isaac says as he reaches for one of the mugs. Derek nods and watches him look over the tea bags before he looks over to Braeden.  She has one hand rested on Isaac’s back as he leans forward to get his tea and a remote in the other hand as she navigates through the Netflix dashboard. 

“Here,” Isaac says. Derek looks down and accepts the offered cup and settles in next to Isaac. Braeden picks a film with Chris Evans on the thumbnail, Snow something, and they fall into a content silence as they watch. Warm and sated from the tea, Derek drifts off to sleep. When he wakes up Chris Evans is crying, Isaac is crying, and even Braeden looks near tears. Bewildered, Derek is about to ask them what the hell is going on when Isaac speaks up.

“Why do you call me Flounder?” Isaac asks, his voice barely heard over the movie. Derek feels the couch shift as Braeden puts her arm around his shoulder.

“Because of The Little Mermaid. You reminded me of the little fish when I first met you. Scared. A little timid.”

“Sounds like me.”

“I’m not finished,” Braeden says a little louder. “But Flounder’s kind of a badass when you think about it. When it came down to it he was brave as hell when it came to saving Ariel and his friends. I see that in you.”

“Yeah, right. “

“I do, you just have to see it too.”

There’s a long pause before Isaac speaks up again. “Does that mean I can call you Ariel?”

Braeden laughs, softly but full of warmth that spreads throughout Derek’s soul. “No.”

Derek lets the ensuing banter lull him back to sleep.

When Derek wakes again, it’s to laughter coming from the kitchen. Groggily, he sits up and looks over his shoulder at the entrance.

“That’s not fair!” He hears Aiden say, somewhat out of breath, and the room bursts into laughter again.

Derek stands and stretches, taking a moment to relish the pull of his muscles, before he walks to meet his roommates. 

Aiden is rubbing gingerly at his wrist, sporting a wounded puppy look when Derek rounds the corner.

“Aw it’s okay,” Erica says in a mock consoling voice and pats at Aiden’s already sleep-mussed hair. He swats away at her to another round of laughter.

“What’s going on?” Derek asks as he steps into the room further.  Seven pairs of eyes swivel to meet his, but he focuses in on Braeden who looks away quickly.

“Brae was trying to show Isaac some defensive skills and Aiden volunteered his services,” Boyd says looking between Derek and Braeden.

“So basically Aiden said that he could take her and she kicked his ass,” Derek says.

“Pretty much,” Ethan says.

“Oh whatever,” Aiden says over the chorus of laughter, “I’d like to see you go at it with her. I’m sure she’d take it easy on you?”

“Why would I do that?” Derek asks.

“To prove my point,” Aiden says, exasperated.

“You think I’d go easy on him?” Braeden asks. She then looks at Derek and smirks. “What do you think?”

Caught up in her playfulness Derek goes for it. He shrugs “I could teach you a few things.”

Braeden steps forward in slow, deliberate steps until she’s a few inches a way from Derek. “Is that so? Prove it.”

Derek’s brought back to the last time they were this close to each other: Braeden’s hands braced on either side of him. Then he’d looked away, but here in his mind he does what he should have done then and reaches out in puts his hand on her waist to pull her in close.

At least he thought it was in his mind. In a flurry of motion and pain, Derek ends up sprawled out on his back trying to figure out where all the air in the room went.

“Oh god,” He croaks out and closes his eyes. This is it, he thinks, this is how I die.

“Oh relax, you are not going to die,” Braeden says. Derek opens his eyes to find seven pairs of eyes looking back at him, none of them looking all that concerned, and Aiden looks positively gleeful. 

Boyd puts out a hand to help him up and he can feel a few other hands at his back as they heave him off the ground. Derek’s head and chest are still buzzing with light trauma. And once his breathing calms down, the silence in the room is heavy and uncomfortable.

“So basically,” Isaac starts and then points to Derek. “Be better than that?”

“That’s what I got,” Aiden says still smiling wide.

Braeden huffs out a laugh and the rest of them join in shortly after.

“I’m glad my pain can be a source of your amusement,” Derek says sourly, glaring at the room, which makes them laugh even more.  The sight of them all together smiling again makes the pain a little worth it.

**

The day before classes are to start, Derek and Boyd brave the cold and go for an early morning run, which quickly turns into a fast paced stroll once they’ve both nearly fallen to their deaths.

They make it almost the entire time without bringing up the topic of Braeden. Boyd hasn’t really asked him about it since his first day back. Halfway back to the house, Boyd clears his throat after a few minutes of silence.

“So,” He starts and looks slowly over to Derek. “Things got a little tense with you and Braeden the other day.”

Derek doesn’t say anything, just pays close attention to the ground as to not fall and die.

“You two haven’t really been hanging out much, in fact I don’t think she sleeps here half the time,” Boyd continues. “So obviously something happened while we were gone.”

Derek sighs heavily and looks over at Boyd. He has this expectant look on his face and Derek snaps stopping the walk. “Is there a question in there? By the sound of it you’ve got it all figured out.”

He starts to walk off again, but Boyd puts a hand on his chest to turn him back around. Derek stares down at the hand on his chest and then glares up at Boyd, who gives him the most unimpressed look he’s ever seen. “Please, save the dramatics for Aiden.”

Derek rolls his eyes but swats Boyd’s hand away anyway. He holds his hand up in a mock gesture of surrender. “Fine. I’ll ask. What the fuck happened?”

Derek looks at Boyd for a few seconds, contemplating, and then groans and buries his face into his hands. “wekissedonnewyears,” He says all in one rush.

Boyd huffs out a sigh, “Again, for someone who doesn’t speak dramatic teenage boy.”

Derek glares up at him and spits out.  “We kissed. On New Years.”

“And?”

“What do you mean ‘and?’” Derek says.

“I mean and! What happened after that? Who freaked out on who?”

“Who says anybody freaked out?”

Boyd pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath.  “Derek I’m trying to let you sort this out yourself so don’t be dense. Either tell me what happened or I’ll put it together myself.”

Derek lifts a challenging brow and crosses his arms.

“Fine,” Boyd says and holds up one finger. “I think you freaked out.” He holds up another finger “ I think something in that messed up head of yours is telling you you can’t be happy. Don’t look at me like that we’re all messed up.” He holds up another finger. “ You told her something idiotic that pissed her off and pushed her away. “ He adds another finger. “You sat around and brooded for a week until I came home.” He adds the thumb, “And now you’re starting to regret it because you’ve realize that Braeden might just be the best goddamn thing in your life right now.”

Derek stares at Boyd’s hand as he waves it around in front of his face.

“Hello?” Boyd says. “I’m right aren’t I?”

“You might be,” Derek grumbles.

“I know I’m right!” Boyd exclaims and smacks Derek across the top of his head with the hand he’d been counting with.

“Ow!” Derek says and brings his hand to rub at the tinder spot. “Okay! You’re right I freaked out. I just kept fucking thinking about Kate, and how messed up I am because I let myself trust _her_ too much. “

Derek takes a shaky breath in and looks away from Boyd. “My parents are dead because I let her get to close.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “ I can’t lose anyone else.”

Boyd rest his heavy hands on Derek shoulders and squeezes lightly until Derek turns to look at him. “ I don’t know Kate, and I didn’t know your parents. But I know this,” he points in the direction of the house and continues. “That girl is one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met. She put up a front about fending for herself because she had to do that her whole life but now she has us, and she knows it’s a good thing. Why do you think she came back to the house when she found out about Isaac? And also, I know your parents wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like this. They’d want you to be happy. You owe it to them to move on from Kate.”

Derek shakes his head, tears threatening to spill over. “ Even if I wanted to fix things,” He starts, thickly, “I can’t. Braeden already hates me.”

“She doesn’t, but you’re right we can’t let you fix this on your own. You’re hopeless,” Boyd says and starts to walk back down the path, ignoring Derek’s wounded protest. “We need Erica.”

*

“You did what?!” Erica shrieks and then turn and smacks Boyd in the arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just found out 20 minutes ago!”

Erica looks back at Derek then picks up the pillow off her bed and flings it at him across the room. “Why didn’t _you_ tell me!”

“Probably to avoid a situation like this,” Boyd says and pulls her back to the bed by her waist. He catches the pillow she tries to throw at him and sighs. “Listen, how do we fix it?”

Erica glares at the two of them a little bit longer and takes a deep calming breath. She turns back to Derek and starts to speak when the door opens and Meredith walks in. She stares at all of them wide eyed, and a little confused before she speaks.

“Schedules are here,” she says and then backs out of the room slowly and disappears out of view.

“What –“

“Don’t,” Erica says and stands, “ I don’t even want to know. Come on we’ll finish this later. I want to know what hell I’m in for this semester.”

Derek and Boyd follow her out of the room and down the hall into the kitchen where Aiden has all of the schedules laid out and all of the envelopes thrown in a pile on one of the chairs.

“You know its a crime to opens someone’s mail?” Derek says as he scans the papers for his name.

“Just for that,” Aiden says and leans back in his chair. “I’m gonna let you figure it out on your own.”

Derek’s about to ask what the hell he’s talking about, but then Braeden and Isaac walk in.

“What’s going on?” Braeden asks as she starts to unravel her scarf from around her neck. Derek follows her eyesight back to the papers lying on the table.  She walks past him to scan the sheets and then picks hers up. She points down to the chair holding the envelopes. “Illegal much,” She says not looking away from the paper.

“Oh my god, get married already,” Aiden groans into his hands. He stands up and picks up a piece of paper and smacks it against Derek’s chest.  He catches it before it can slide down to the floor, as Aiden continues out of the kitchen, yelling over his shoulder, “Maybe you two can figure your shit out while you’re trapped together for a semester.”

Derek looks at his schedule then over to Braeden who is looking at him curiously. They wordlessly exchange papers and Derek looks down to see his schedule, with the exception of one class, is the exact same as Braeden’s.

This. Fucking. School.

Derek glares down at the piece of paper for a few seconds longer before Braeden snatches it out of his hands and looks at them, her eyes tracking rapidly across the pages and her brows knitting closer together all the while.

Then her face clears and goes blank as she hands him his schedule.  “Cool,” She says and then folds her paper and puts it in her pocket. She grabs her scarf and looks over to Isaac. “Can we do that thing later? I forgot I said I’d pick up a shift at McKays.”

Isaac narrows his eyes and looks between her and Derek and nods slowly. “Sure… right after you tell me what’s going on between you two.”

Braeden scoffs and starts to wrap her scarf around her neck. “What are you talking about?” She says as Meredith says, “They kissed.”

Everyone stops and turns to look at Meredith.  Aiden’s voice drifts in from the hallway,  “The fuck?!”

“I’m with him,” Boyd says and points out the entrance and then towards Meredith. “You told her before you told me?”

“What? No!” Derek says.

“You told them?” Braeden asks. “You didn’t seem so keen to talk about it when I—“

“That’s not fair!” Derek cuts in, knowing where this is going. “I was –“

Braeden puts her hand over his mouth and he stops talking.  They stare at each other for a long uncomfortable moment.  Then she takes a deep breath and looks around at the group. “I got drunk on New Years and kissed Derek. Everybody happy!”

“Is that why you haven’t been coming around?” Ethan asks, glancing over at Derek before looking back to Braeden. “Are you embarrassed or something?”

“What? No, look that’s not what—“Derek starts.

“Yeah,” Braeden says and loops her scarf once more around her neck. She looks straight at Derek and sighs, “Or Something,” before she walks past him and out the door.

The room is silent for a while before Aiden walks back into the kitchen and claps his hands loudly. “Congratulations, Derek. You’re the biggest douche in the world.”

“Damn it, Derek,” Isaac exclaims, making him jump.

“What?!”

“You made Braeden leave _and_ you made me agree with Aiden.”

Derek turns to leave as Aiden and Isaac start to bicker. 

He’s glaring up at his ceiling when he feels his bed dip beside him.  He turns his head and sighs at the expectant look on Erica’s face.

“What?”

“Why are you lying here, we have damage control to do,” she says and pokes him in the side.

“Were you not just in there? Did you not see her run off at the very idea of having to share classes with me? She hates me!”

“She was—“

“Look if space is what she wants, that’s fine” Derek says and turns over on his side. “Maybe you could take the hint too?”

Erica leaves but not before hitting him in the back of his head and calling him a jerk.

This semester is going to be fun.

**

“So this is fun,” Lydia says as she settles down at the stool in front of Derek. Derek sighs and looks over the syllabus from his previous class. It had been a long day, and it was finally coming to an end. Luckily he’d been able to avoid, or rather she had been able to avoid him, but Braeden and he didn’t really have to communicate this morning. He’d gotten a stilted ‘see ya’ when she’d come to their room this morning to grab her backpack, but that’s about it.

“This is lame,” Jackson says at the table across from her. “I thought we were in college. Who has assigned seating in college?”

“Probably someone who wants to make your life hell Jackson,” Jordan says sitting next to Lydia.

“And mine too,” Braeden grumbles quietly from the stool next to Derek.

“Actually,” Deaton says making them all turn and look around. “The assigned seats are base on grade point averages and the previous semesters student evaluations. This seating arrangement has been developed to strengthen the performances of you all as not only lab partners but individuals as well. “

Jackson rolls his eyes.

“Take Mr. Whitmore for example.” Deaton says and walks over to Jackson’s table. “He’s not paired with Mr. Mahealani simply because their close friends. But given the gap in grade point averages and the complimentary personality traits given from their previous lectures their results will be higher.”

“So basically Danny needs me to show him the ropes,” Jackson says and nudges Danny’s arm.

Deaton looks back to Jackson and smiles. “Quite the opposite.” He turns away from Jackson’s opened mouth and towards Derek’s table. “But that’s not the same for everyone. Ms. Martin’s keen ability for research should compliment Mr. Parrish’s knack for curiosity.”

“What about them! They hate each other,” Jackson burst out and points to Derek and Braeden. Who huffs loudly and crosses her arm.

“Well,” Deaton says and looks from Jackson to them and smiles. “There competitive nature should definitely make for an interesting year.” Derek glares at him and Deaton gives them a placid smile and then walks towards the front of the room. “Now. Everyone welcome to Field Ecology and Data Analysis. Let’s Begin.”

**

Derek and Braeden go as long as they can without having to actually talk to each other. They spend a week working in silence, writing comments on their shared work handouts instead of working out the projects together. Derek looks up from his sample under the microscope when Braeden slides the weeks’ notes to the middle of the workstation. He see’s red when he sees most of his notes crossed out with her “corrections”. He snatches them up, glares down at the page and then explodes.

“Are you serious!” He shouts causing a few people in the room to jump.  Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jackson almost drop his sample.

“What is your problem?” Braeden asks looking calmly back down at her notebook.

“This,” he says and holds the paper close to her face. “I spent all night researching—“

“And yet,” Braeden says not even looking away from her notes, “You’ve still managed to get it all wrong. “

“Braeden, look—“

“Is there a problem here?” Deaton asks coming next to the table out of nowhere. He holds his hand out and Derek hands him the paper. Deaton looks down at it for a long time, looking at all the notes on the pages. “You’re findings were inaccurate, Mr. Hale.”

Braeden makes a small humpf noise and Deaton turns to her and adds, “So were yours.” Derek resists the urge to turn and stick his tongue out. Deaton sighs and sits the papers back on the table. “ I think you two are failing to realize the importance of communication in these projects.  I expect better… from both of you.”

Deaton looks down at his watch and then turns to look at the rest of the class. “Alright, lets make our final observations and then clean up the stations. We’ve got about ten more minutes. Once you’ve finished you can leave.  Derek?”

Derek looks up from his notes to Deaton. “Yes sir?”

“See me before you leave.”

*

“Sir?” Derek says as he heaves his backpack over his shoulder and stands in front of Deaton’s desk. Deaton sits down the papers he’d been reading and stands. He walks to the front of his desk and leans against it before he speaks.

“Is there anything you’d like to share with me Derek?”

Derek frowns, confused. “ Um, no, sir.”

Deaton just stares at him.” The last time I saw you two, you were practically attached at the hip. I thought I’d be doing you a favor. Paring the two of you.”

_You thought wrong_ Derek thinks and looks away, sighing as he tries to come up with something to say. “It’s complicated.”

Deaton stays silent, waiting for Derek to continue based on the look he’s giving him when he chances a glance. He huffs out a sigh and walks back around to his seat.

“Well make sure things get un _complicated_ soon,” Deaton says as he settles back down into his chair. “I won’t tolerate more outbursts like the one today. Is that clear?”

Derek ducks his head and nods. “Yes sir.”

Deaton dismisses him with hardly a glance.

Back at home; his roommates are all in the kitchen trying to decide what to cook for dinner. Derek watches them deliberate for a few seconds before he notices someone missing.

“Where’s Braeden?”

Everyone turns to look at him. “She had a shift at the bar,” Erica says from her perch on the counter. “You’re back from class late.”

“Oh yeah Danny texted me about you’re little hulk moment. You okay,” Ethan asks as he digs into a bag of chips.

“Danny texted you?” Derek asks.

Ethan freezes with a handful of chips to his mouth and then glances around at his roommates all staring at him. “Yes?”

“Anyway. No one cares,” Aiden cuts in. Derek can see the tension leaving Ethan’s shoulders. “What are we going to eat!”

“Let’s go to McKay’s!” Erica says

“Yeah!” Ethan says.

“Um,” Derek starts.

“Listen, you can stay here and sulk and scrounge up whatever you feel like eating, but we,” Aiden says and points to the others, “ are going to go and hang out with our friend.”

“You just want free drinks!” Meredith says.

“That too,” Aiden says and walks past them towards the front door. “Now can we go?”

They all get up and start to follow Aiden out.  Derek hesitates by the door and Erica comes up to put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll stay here with you if you want,” she says. Derek can practically feel his eyebrows disappear into his hair.

“What? Really?”

“Yeah,” Erica says, smiling sweetly and continues on sarcastically. “ Then we can do each others nails and braid each others hair. Oh! And I’ll teach you how to use a tampon.”

Derek rolls his eyes and shrugs her off his arm. “Okay. I get it.”

Erica bounds off towards the coat rack to start getting dressed as Boyd comes over to hand Derek his things, smirk firm in place. “Shut up,” Derek mumbles as he takes his jacket, which only makes Boyd actually laugh.

After a brief debate over who should pick the station, the ride to McKay’s isn’t that eventful. They all pile out of the car and hurry down the street to get out of the cold. Derek lags, not really in any hurry.

When he finally gets in, they’re all seated to one side of the bar and Braeden is laughing as she passes them menus. Her eyes meet Derek’s and he waves. She lifts her brow and Derek can see a hint of a smirk before she gives him a small nod and puts a menu at the end of the bar in front of an empty seat.

Derek sits and starts to look at the menu as Braeden starts to pass out different drinks to the rest of them.  A few seconds later, there’s a pint glass of dark liquid sitting down in front of him.

Derek looks at it, up at Braeden and then around the bar.

“Don’t worry,” Braeden says and leans against the counter in front of him. “The boss isn’t here.”

“But I didn’t order it,” Derek says looking down at the glass.

“No, “Braeden says slowly and then glances over at Aiden who is annoyingly hitting his menu against the counter top. “But consider it a peace offering.”

“Yeah?”

Braeden smiles and looks at him. “Yeah, for the whole… Deaton thing… and you know,” she says softly and then in a louder tone, “But maybe you could beat up Dickhead instead?”

Aiden looks like he’s about to retort but then he pauses and points to Meredith, “Wait, did that nickname stick?”

*

After all the food is ordered and delivered, Braeden takes turns between helping the few their customers in the bar and coming over to them to steal food off their plates. She migrates away from a heated debate about the science in Orphan Black and picks up Derek’s burger.  Before he can even say anything she’s taking a bite of it, and chews slowly as she looks off to the side away from him. After a few long and drawn out seconds he takes it from her and bites into it himself. They continue like that for several more minutes, every few seconds she looks at him like she’s about to say something, but then picks up another item on his plate and chews contemplatively instead.

“Spit it out already,” Derek says after the 15th time she does it.  She looks at him and slowly smirks as she leans over his plate. He puts his hand over her mouth quickly and yelps. She pulls back and laughs before she walks off to help another customer. Torn between disgust and amusement Derek stares after her for a few seconds longer than strictly necessary, and when he looks back, he has six pairs of eyes trained on him.

“What?”

They look away and resume talking to each other. Derek frowns and turns back to his plate just in time to see Braeden reach for another fry. He grabs her hand to stop her from eating it and then they look at each other and then back to the fry between them. At the same time they lean in to bite the fry, which ultimately causes them to smash their faces into each other – hard.

“Ow,” Derek says as Braeden groans loudly and covers her face as she backs away.

“Smooth,” Someone says from behind them. They turn and see Danny, Jackson and Lydia standing behind them.

“Shut up,” Braeden says as she stalks down the bar to refill a beer. 

“Hey,” Danny says looking further down the bar. Derek lets his eyes travel down his roommates and notices Ethan staring closely into his plate, and considerably pinker than he was before.

“What are you guys doing here?” Derek cuts in before it can get awkward.

“We came to keep B company,” Jordan says coming up from behind the others, “which I see we weren’t the only people with that idea. Hey guys.”

There’s a general mumble of acknowledgement.

“We really came for the free food and beer,” Aiden says.

“Your bill sir,” Braeden says and puts down a slip of paper in front of him.  She walks away as he gawks at her.

“Hey guys,” she says to the newcomers as they sit down at the bar.  Jordan bypasses the stools and goes to stand behind the bar. He bends down and grabs a few beers from the small cooler and hands them out.  Braeden crosses her arms as she watches them all line the necks against the edge of the counter and raise their hands at the same time. Jordan looks at them all, a slight smile playing at his lips, and then looks to Braeden expectantly. She points at Jackson, “Don’t mess up my bar,” she says and then smiles at the rest of them. “Go!” she says and Derek watches as they all slam down their hands in unison, using the bar as a bottle opener. They all successfully open their bottles on the first time, even Jackson, but his starts to fizz out and spill over, making him hurry to drink down most of it in the first pull.

The group laughs as Braeden throws a towel his way. Jordan puts his arms around her shoulder and leans in to whisper something in her ear. Derek looks away.

“Ready?” Boyd says next to him.

“Hmm?” Derek says looking up from his plate of reject fries.

Boyd just claps his shoulder and nods his head towards the door.  Derek stands to get up and pulls out some money and leaves it on the plate as Boyd tosses his keys to Meredith. Aiden protest that he should be the one to drive, but Derek doesn’t hear Boyd’s reply as he makes eye contact with Braeden from across the bar. She’s refilling a glass of water or something, and Derek gives her a small, hesitant wave as he turns to leave with Boyd.

They’re only to the end of the block when Derek hears his name called. He turns  to see Braeden running up to them.

“Hey,” she says a little breathlessly. She holds out the money he’d left on his plate. “You left this.”

“Umm,” Derek says dumbly, “Um, that was for the food.”

“Employee meal.”

“I don’t work there.”

“Yeah,” Braeden says with a small shrug, “But I ate most of your food.”

Derek smiles and nods, “Then it’s for you.”

“Oh? My glowing customer service?” She asks, her brow lifting in sync with her sly smirk.

“Yeah, that, and,” Derek says. He can feel his face straining to keep the grin off his face. “Girls gotta eat.”

Braeden laughs and steps in a little further. She reaches down and slides the money into his front pocket. “I do just fine.”

Derek’s brain goes off line as he zeroes in on the feeling of her hands sliding out of his pocket. Time seems endless as he stares and she stares back.

Boyd clears his throat, making them both look in his direction. He grins at them and waves. “Don’t mind me, just freezing my tits off.”

“And what a shame that is,” Braeden says.

“I know,” Boyd says. “They’re nice tits.”

Braeden laughs and crosses her arms and looks at the ground before looking back to Derek. “I’ll see you later… tonight.”

Derek looks at her, really looks at her and takes in the hopeful yet guarded look on her face.  Derek nods and smiles. “I’ll be there.”

*

Chilled to their core, Derek and Boyd make it home in record time, practically running the last mile. They close the door against the cold and Derek leans heavily against it, sighing in relief.

“Next time,” Boyd starts still moving from side to side and teeth chattering, “ Imma let you just sit there and be awkward.”

“No one told you to give your keys to Mere—“ Derek stops at the look on Boyd’s face and then nods. “Thanks, man.”

“Yeah,” Boyd says and walks towards the kitchen.”That’s more like it.”

Derek walks in after him and then goes to the coffee machine and starts to prep for a new pot.

“I’m thinking something a little different,” Boyd says behind him. Derek looks over his shoulder and sighs. Boyd grins as he shakes the bottle of whiskey. “Fastest way to warm you up.”

Derek groans but changes course to pull two glasses from the cabinet instead. He sits them down in front of Boyd and watches, apprehension growing, as he pours.  Boyd laughs.

“Relax,” Boyd says and caps the bottle. He hands one glass to Derek. “It’ll put some hair on your chest.”

“I think I’m doing just fine in that area,” Boyd laughs and nods. He picks up his own glass and clinks it against Derek’s. “Cheers to that, now drink up.”

Derek sighs, staring down at the liquid and then puts it to his lips and downs it in one gulp.  Instantly regretting it, he splutters and grimaces at the taste, sitting his glass down hard.

“Well that’s not what I meant,” Boyd says, putting his glass down. “That was like two shots. BUT,” He says and reaches over to refill Derek’s glass. “Since it’s gonna be like that—“ he slides the drink back in front of Derek. “Let’s talk.”

*

Derek doesn’t remember getting up to his bed; he doesn’t really remember the stairs or anything else really. He remembers that after the whiskey had come a surprise bottle of wine, and then the rest of them came home, and shortly after Braeden had come with her new friends and it was an all out, impromptu house party. The music was pumping, the drinks kept flowing, and Derek was … having fun.

Braeden had come up to him and said something funny, so he laughed. He can’t remember what exactly, but she looked so pretty when she pulled back and smiled.

“What’s so funny,” she had said and he just smiled back. “How many of those have you had,” She said pointing down to his drink.

Derek remembers looking down at the red liquid in his cup and being so surprised “Is this blood?”

“Okayyy,” She said pulling it from his hands and sitting it behind her. “Let’s get you to bed.”

And now he’s here, magically surrounded by vanilla, and warmth spreading through his hair. He’s so damn cozy.

“I’m so damn cozy, I fucking love vanilla,” He mumbles into his pillow.  The warmth through his hair stills and shakes a little bit.

“Is that so,” Braeden says through a laugh and continues to rub through his hair. 

Derek looks over his shoulder up at her and she smiles.

“Hey you,” She says and moves her hand to rub down the side of his face and down to his neck now.

He turns over, with a whole lot of effort, almost knocking her off his bed, and groans as he’s finally settled. He turns his head and his nose bumps her wrist.  He breathes in and lets the smell of vanilla calm him.

“I missed you.” He mumbles, tilting is head back slightly so his lips are against her skin.

The door opens and light spills in from the hallway.

“Hey,” Jordan says. Derek sees out the corner of his eye Braeden lift a finger to her mouth with her other hand and at a softer pitch Jordan continues. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine.”

“Cool, we’re about to play some game Meredith… invented or something.”

“Sounds traumatizing,” Braeden says, smile clear in her voice.

“Yeah I think most of them are too drunk to question it,” He says, laughing lightly. “ Anyway, come on.”

“Umm,” She starts. Derek presses his lips harder into her wrist.

“Please stay,” he says softly – barely a whisper.

Her hand resumes rubbing down to his neck. Soothing. “I think I’m gonna keep an eye on him a little longer.”

“You sure? He’s a big boy I’m sure he can take care of himself.”

“Hmm,” She says and then softer. “I’m not so sure of that.” She stands, and Derek groans at the loss of contact. “I’ll pass,” she says and he can hear her walk closer to the door.  Derek can’t hear what she says fore a few minutes. He’s fascinated by the weight of his eyelids. He celebrates internally every time he opens them after a blink.

“I’m so strong,” He announces to the room.

“I gotta go.” The light from the hall disappears and there’s a soft click of the door lock.

The bed dips and Derek looks up at Braeden. “My eyelids,” He says as if that explains it all.

“I see,” Braeden says. She let’s her thumb graze over his eye as she starts rubbing down his face again.

“Blink champion,” Derek says.

“I knew you could do it,” Braeden says with a small laugh. “I hear you’re so strong,”

“Mmm,” Derek says and lets the contentment of the moment wash over him. He uses his remaining strength to reach up and trace his fingers along the path of her scars. “So are you.”

Braeden grabs his hand and links their hands. “Sleep, Dere.”

And he does.

He wakes up to find Braeden crawling over him to get to the side of the bed closest to the wall.  There’s dim light coming from the window. Once she’s settled under the blankets she scoots in close and wraps one arm around his front. She leans her head against his shoulder and sighs, long and exhausted.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles, groggy and sleep worn.

“Oh hey, I didn’t mean to wake you,” She says leaning up to look at him.

“You stayed.”

“I did.”

He turns his head towards her and she leans her head back on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” He says again. Hoping the _for everything_ he means to say is implied enough.

“Me too,” She says, hugging him tighter.

Derek breathes in heavily, his head still hazy with a slight buzz from the alcohol, and drifts back to sleep to the calming familiarity of her.

**

They still don’t talk about it. New Years or the ensuing fight, but things are better. Braeden spends more time at the house. Still with her new posse in tow, but they’re not all bad. Lydia is quick witted and smart, Danny too, with he added bonus of making Ethan light up whenever he enters a room. Jackson and Aiden complain about the lack of sports in the area, which he is thankful for.

“Maybe they can complain each other into a stupor or something,” Erica had said one day during a studying session as she watched them at the other end of the table.

Jordan was fine, perfectly fine and nice, but Derek still couldn’t stand him.

“Alpha’s are territorial aren’t they,” Lydia had said one day when Braeden had migrated to Jordan’s work station to look at something in his notes. Derek looks at her and scowls.

“She’s not my—“

Lydia pointed down to the page in his book that mentioned something similar. “Mmm interesting.”

Derek had glared at her until she went back, smiling, to her workstation.

With spring comes midterms, and the group, much larger now with Jackson, Danny, Lydia and Jordan, huddle in the common area and quiz each other on various topics.

It’s light, and more carefree than any other time before, and the smiling faces of his friends warm Derek’s spirits too.

“Be careful,” Braeden says nudging his leg with her knee. Derek looks over to her, confused. She nods her head in the general direction of the other people in the room. “If you keep looking so fondly at them, they might actually start to think you care.”

She fake gasps and Derek laughs.

“Oh no,” Derek says, grinning and looking to the group and hen back to her. “All my hard earned street cred.”

“Yeah right,” Boyd says as he walks past them on his way to the kitchen.

“Hey!” Derek calls after him as Braeden throws her head back in laughter.

As the study sessions comes to an end, the conversation moves to ideas for Spring Break.

“Well my birthday is coming up!” Erica says excitedly as she tosses her flash cards to the side. “Just throwing that out there.”

“Oh awesome, we should—“ Danny starts, but Aiden interrupts him.

“Wait a second, no one did anything for our birthday,” He says and points to Ethan then to Jackson, “Or his which was like a week later.”

“We had a shore party!” Erica says!

“That was lame!”

“And no one knew this clown back then,” Boyd says pointing at Jackson, who just scowls at him.

“Aiden just remembers the hangover guys,” Ethan says.

“And you don’t see Braeden complaining,” Meredith says. “No one did anything for her birthday.”

The room is silent as they all turn to look at Braeden, who has found new interest in the back of the cereal box she’d been snacking from.

“When was your birthday, Braeden?” Lydia asks.

“A few weeks ago,” She says with a small shoulder shrug.

The room erupts into undecipherable outrage.

“What?” she exclaims.

“I asked you like 2 months ago when your birthday was and you said it had passed!” Jordan says, sporting a kicked puppy expression.

“Well,” Braeden says and shrugs as she turns the box on its side to read the nutritional facts.

“Wait Brae, come on,” Erica says. “Why wouldn’t you tell us?”

Braeden sighs heavily.

“Come on guys, let it go,” Derek says sensing her unwillingness to talk about it.

“Did you know?” Jordan asks. Everyone knows its directed at Derek, but Braeden beats him to the response.

“No he didn’t know,” Braeden snaps. She puts the cereal box on the floor and starts to stand. “Despite what you all care to think, _Derek_ is not my keeper. I am my own person—“

“Braeden no one is saying that,” Lydia says, “ It’s just that no one should spend their birthday alone.”

“Well,” Braeden starts and looks at Derek. “ I guess I’m just getting in practice for the rest of my life.”

Those familiar words echo in his head as Braeden turns to walk away. He sprints after her, catching her as she hits the stairs. “Braeden please.”

She looks away from him and tries to push past him, but he won’t move.

“Braeden,” Derek says and grabs her arms pushing against him. “You have me.”

She stops pushing at him and turns to look at him. Several different emotions flicker on her face before she settles on a blank stare. She steps back slowly and shakes her head.

“I mean it Br— Ah fuck!“ Derek says when Braeden punches him. He recoils towards the stairs and she walks by him as he cradles his face. 

“Holy shit, are you—“ Someone says from the end of the hallway.

“I’m fine. I’m fine just give us a minute” Derek says and hurries up the stairs behind her. He swears when he hears the door slam and lock as he reaches the landing. He slowly approaches the door and leans his head against it.

“I’m sorry,” He says softly. “And I deserved that. I know I’ve been all over the place these past few months but…” Derek takes a deep breath. “ But I love you. And I was afraid of admitting that because I’m afraid of what that means.”

He groans and turns his back towards the door and slides down until he’s seated in front of it.

“I’m not expecting us to start all over again,” Derek says, thinking about Jordan. “But even if I can’t… um… I don’t know… fuck—“ he says stumbling over his words. “I just want you to be happy and I want to be apart of that in any way you’ll have me.”

Derek looks down at the end of the hall and sees Erica’s head poking up from around the corner. He smiles a little and waves her over. She comes up the rest of the way with Aiden, Ethan, Meredith, Boyd, and Isaac in tow and they all sit down in the small hallway in front of the door.

It’s silent for a long time, and Derek takes in their worried expressions as he wills himself to start speaking again. He takes a deep breath and starts.

“My parents died almost two years ago,” Derek says and looks around at all of them. “In a fire that my girlfriend at the time set.”

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his rising panic.  Erica puts a hand on his knee and squeezes. He looks at her, smiling sadly and takes her hand in his and squeezes as he continues. “I don’t even know why… but I loved her and trusted her and now it’s … it’s hard for me—“

“We get it, bro,” Aiden says, nodding solemnly.

“Yeah,” Derek says and wipes the few tears that pushed through his barriers off of his cheeks.

It’s silent for a long time before Boyd clears his throat. Everyone turns to look at him and Erica reaches out her other hand to put at the back of his neck. He looks at her and nods before he looks to the others.

“My little sister died when I was supposed to be watching her, and I’ve always blamed my self, and I know my parents have too,” He says and then looks down at the floor.

“I feel handicapped by my epilepsy,” Erica says softy between the two of them. And then laughs a little. “ I just want to drive a car one day.”

The group laughs a little. “ I also just want my mom to not worry about me so much. I remember her being so much happier before I was diagnosed.” Erica says and shrugs a little. “ It just sucks not being in control of your life.”

“Yeah,” Aiden says. Derek looks his way and takes in the miserable expression on his face. “I know that feeling. Our dad had our whole life planned for us before we were out of diapers.”

“And what happened?” Erica asks.

“I told him I was gay,” Ethan says.

“And I told him I wouldn’t turn my back on him just because he couldn’t understand him,” Aiden continues.

“And I told Aiden to stay and be the son our dad wanted,” Ethan adds.

“And I told him to piss off because my life is nothing without you,” Aiden says and looks over at his brother. “There’s nothing wrong with who you are, fuck what the old man says. Being gay does not make you less of a man, and I will follow you to hell in back to remind you of that every day if I need to.”

Ethan nods quickly, “ I know… I just always feel bad that you gave up so much to follow me here.”

“Yeah it’s tough, and I fucking hate lobster—“

“Blasphemy,” Boyd says, now resting his head in Erica’s lap.

“But I’m getting there. We’re getting there.”

Ethan reaches over and pulls Aiden into a tight, almost painful looking hug.

“My dad hits me,” Isaac says as the twins pull apart. “ More like beats me.”

Isaac lets out a ragged breath and continues. “ I just wish sometimes that I could fight back,” he says his voice trembling. “Wish sometimes that I could just—“

He cuts off, his hands straining into fist. Meredith reaches over and slowly pulls it apart and then links her hand in his.

“Soon,” She says and then looks to the rest of them. “No one understands me. I know that. And at home, they treat me like a crazy person and send me to all these therapy sessions.” She says and then smiles at them. “But here, with you guys it doesn’t matter that I can’t explain the things going on in my head. You love me anyway.”

“We really do Mere,” Erica says as she leans her head on Derek’s shoulder.

They sit in silence for a long time, soaking in all the new information about each other.

Aiden gets up after a while and goes into Isaac and Boyd’s room and comes back with the pillows and blankets from their beds. He tosses them in the center and they all spread them around and get comfortable.

The sound of the lock clicking brings their attention to the door and Derek leans away just as the door opens.

Braeden leans against the doorframe and crosses her arms as she looks down at them. “So who’s going to start the Kumbaya Round Robin,” She says dryly.

“After you Ariel,” Isaac says grinning up at her. She smiles at him for a second and then disappears back into the room. When she comes back she has more pillows and blankets. She closes the door and squeeze in between Derek and Isaac. She spreads the blankets around and then puts a pillow behind her and Derek against the door.

“Sorry I punched you,” She says nudging Derek with her arm.

“It was awesome though,” Aiden says through a yawn.

Derek rolls his eyes and looks back to her. “It’s cool.”

They’re all quiet for a while before Braeden speaks again. “I love you too,” She says to Derek and then looks around at everyone. “All of you, but…” She trails off and puts her hands over her face and shakes her head.

“I hate this,” She says.

Derek puts his arm around her shoulders as Isaac pulls her hands from her face and holds them.

“It’s okay,” Isaac says.

“Even around all of you guys and the rest of them and every one here, I just feel so lonely without him... my grandpa,” She says as tears stream down her face. 

Derek knows all too well what she means, and he can feel his throat tighten as sadness crashes through him. He closes his eyes, pulls her in closer, and does the only thing that can be done in times like this – be there.

**

They all survive midterms. It’s a close call, but apart from the drastic decrease in coffee, one crazy night where no one could find Meredith, and everyone falling asleep when they’d put a frozen pizza in the oven, everything was perfect.

Derek had been preparing for a long day of doing nothing, which included sleeping in, reading a bit, and maybe a short call to his sister – it had been a while—and other carefree activities. None of those included being woken up at 5AM by the sound of a camera clicking.

Derek opens one eye and finds Ethan, with Aiden looking over his shoulder pointing their phone at him.

“It’s impressive how you can glare with one eye open,” Aiden says and touch the screen over Aiden’s shoulder and the phone clicks again.

“Get out,” Braeden mumbles into Derek’s neck as she shifts behind him.

“Aw cute,” Ethan says.  Braeden sits up and Ethan backs up, stumbling into Aiden. “Okay, okay! Boyd told us to come get you guys up and dressed. Something about a surprise for Erica’s birthday.”

The twins leave and a few minutes later Boyd pokes his head around the doorframe and flicks the light switch on and off until Derek throws a pillow in his direction.

“Okay!” He yells. “We’re up.”

“We’re?” Boyd says and when Derek looks up he’s grinning. “Isn’t that domestic.”

“Get out,” They both say this time.

*

They eventually make it down. Sleepy and a bit disoriented. He’s pretty sure he has two different boots on and he knows that half of what Braeden is wearing belongs to him.

“One of your shoes is blue,” Braeden says confirming his suspicions as she points down. He just grunts and rubs at his face. When he pulls his hand away, she leans against him, resting most of her weight, and he puts his arms around her shoulders as he hears footsteps from behind her.

He turns, pulling her with him, to see Boyd guiding Erica, also dressed in an odd mix of pajama’s and outer wear, down the hall with his hand over her eyes. He whispers something in her ear that Derek can’t hear, but it makes her laugh. When they pass by Derek and Braeden, Boyd grins and Braeden flicks him off.

Ethan opens the front door and they all pile out into the cool air.

Boyd’s car is pulled up to the front with a large green bow on the top of it. He guides her closer, mindful of the steps, and then pulls his hands from her face.

She stares at the car in front of her and frowns slowly. She turns her confused look towards him. “You’re giving me your car?”

“Um no,” Boyd says and reaches in his pocket. He fishes out his keys and holds them out for her. “But I am letting you drive it.”

Erica looks down at his keys and then up to him and then to the car.

“What?” She says, shock evident in her voice and then she starts to shake her head. “No, no, no, I can’t!” She says starting to back away. Boyd reaches for her and pulls her in close to him. He cups her face in his hands and takes a big long breath in.

Erica stops resisting and does the same. She closes her eyes and leans against him.

“We’re all gonna be here, You can do this, and of it gets to much any one of us can step in,” Boyd says as he leans back to look at her. “You can do this.”

Erica looks back towards the car and then looks back to him. She puts her hand out and takes another deep breath in as Boyd drops the keys into her palm. She squeezes the keys in her hand, looking at him one more time before she nods and walks away to the driver side of the car.

“My girl,” Boyd says softly, and then louder to the rest of them, “Alright peeps, get in.”

“Wait,” Braeden says and points to the rest of them. “ Where are Isaac and Meredith?”

“Well they learned how to lock their doors,” Aiden says as he passes them to get into the car. “Maybe you two should consider it. I don’t wanna walk into any NC-17 situation. “

“Or maybe you shouldn’t barge in at all,” Braeden grumbles. Boyd laughs as he slides into the front seat and Ethan follows in behind his brother, leaving Derek and Braeden the last to settle in in the row of seats behind Boyd and Erica.

They sit there in silence as Erica stares at the steering wheel. Boyd rest his hand at the back of her headrest, but otherwise stays quiet, and soon after she turns the key in the ignition.

Braeden cheers as the engine roars to life and Ethan does a drum roll on the back of Derek’s seat. Erica looks over her shoulder at them and grins before she looks over to Boyd and nods.

She puts the car in drive and slowly starts to move them out of the long driveway. Boyd gives her instructions as they jerkily crawl down the strip of street, and as they pull onto the main road she lets out an excited laugh and wipes at her face.

Braeden leans over, closer to Derek, so she can take picture of her with the best angle. Aiden leans over the seat, draping his weight on Derek’s shoulder, but mostly Braeden’s head, and does the same thing.

“Ohh good idea,” Aiden says and snaps a picture. “Now I can Instagram one last time before we crash.”

Braeden turns around and pushes him back roughly against the seat. “Ignore him, Erica.”

“Slow down a little bit,” Boyd says. “Pull over up here at this light.”

“Why?” Erica asks. Sounding upset.

“Because I was wrong,” Boyd says and points to the spot as they approach it. “ Right here.”

Erica scoffs and pulls them to a rocky halt and goes to take off her seatbelt. Boyd puts his hand on hers to stop her and then turns around in his seat and points at Aiden. “Get out.”

“What! I was joking.”

“That’s cool. Now get out,” He says and then looks at Derek. “Let him out.”

Derek smiles as he opens the door and moves aside to let Ethan slip out.

“Ah! You’re supposed to be on my side,” Aiden protest to Ethan.

“I am on your side, but that was not cool.”

“Okay fine fine Erica I’m sorry I made a joke about you crashing the car and killing us all now can we please get this over with its freaking cold outside and its 6 in the goddamn morning!” Aiden says all in one rush.

“Aw afraid for your virtue,” Braeden mocks.

“Piss off,” He says to her and then leans forward over the seat to get closer to Erica. “Please! I am really sorry.”

Erica looks at him for a few long seconds and then nods. ”Okay fine. “

Ethan and Derek slide back into the car in their perspective seats.

“Cool,” Boyd says and turns back to the front and points out on the road. “But no more car privileges.”

“What?” Aiden cries out.

“Dude take your pick,” Boyd snaps from the front. When Aiden remains quiet, Boyd turns back to Erica who smiles at him. “Your road, babe.”

Erica pulls back on the road and drives around the deserted streets as the sun rises above the mountains.

Braeden has her head leaned against the window when Derek looks over at her and Derek scoots in close behind her to look at the view. She looks at him over her shoulder, small smile in place, and leans back against him as she turns back to the passing scenery.

Apart from almost taking out the drive-through menu at McDonalds and slamming on the brakes for a big plastic bag that she swore was a deer, the group makes it back unscathed. Erica is out the door before the car is properly in park once they’ve gotten back to the house, leaving Boyd to reach over and shut off the car.

Erica pulls open the passenger side door and practically pounces on him in efforts to kiss him. He grunts painfully at the force but moves to accommodate her and pulls her in close to him.

“And that’s our cue,” Braeden says and opens the door on her side.

“Yep,” Derek says opening his door and leaving it open for the twins to follow out behind him.

Back inside, the four of them migrate back to their rooms. Derek slowly strips out of his layers before lying down next to Braeden who didn’t bother changing. He’s back to sleep within minutes.

*

Derek wakes up again around noon when Braeden closes the door to their room. He sits up on his elbows and frowns. “Going somewhere?”

Braeden looks over at him and shakes her head. “No,” She says and pulls her hair back into a ponytail.  “ I can just hear people down stairs and didn’t wanna go down in my pajamas.”

“You mean my Pajamas,” Derek says and then points at the shirt as he recognizes it. “ Nice shirt by the way.”

“I like whales,” Braeden says and shrugs. She walks over to his dresser and pulls out a shirt and throws it to him. “Come on. I’m hungry.”

“And you need me because,” Derek says as he sits up and starts to put on the shirt.

Braeden just quirks an eyebrow at him before she throws a pair of jeans at him, “ Let’s go.”

Derek changes and they walk out just as Isaac walks up, “Oh good I was just about to come and get you.”

“For what?” Braeden asks as she follows.

“You’ll see,” Isaac says practically bouncing down the stairs.

Braeden and Derek exchange looks and continue to follow behind him.

“We missed you and Meredith this morning,” Derek says and nudges Braeden in the arm. She grins and adds “Yeah Aiden said something about a locked door.”

“Um,” Isaac starts, turning redder as they walk and then speeds up as they get closer to the kitchen. “Anyway here they are,” He says as he comes into the kitchen.

Braeden gives Derek a confused look. He shrugs, not knowing who Isaac is talking to, as they walk into the kitchen then immediately jumps ten feet out of his skin when the room erupts into shouts.

“Jesus,” He yells and nearly runs into Braeden who is laughing, at him or the situation he can’t tell, but nonetheless enjoying herself far more than he is in the moment.

“What is this?” She says looking around at all of them plus Jordan, Lydia, Danny, and Jackson.

“Well we all really wanted you to know how much we care,” Jordan starts.

“So we decided to have a joint B-Day celebration,” Erica says and lifts the cake a little bit off the counter to show off the messy writing that reads _“Happy Birthday E and B.”_

“Guys,” Braeden says and walks in further to look at the cake and then up at all of them. “Thank you! This is amazing.”

Erica walks past Boyd to hug her and then soon after they’re all forming a mass group hug while Derek leans against the doorframe watching fondly.

“Derek, get in on this,” comes Braeden’s muffled voice from the center of the huddle.

“How did you know he wasn’t over here,” Danny says through a laugh.

“The things that lovers do,” Aiden says, which make most of them groan.

“Ew. Please do not,” Lydia says and pulls away from the huddle. “That word is the worst.”

“What about moist?” Isaac supplies.

“Ugh,” Jackson groans also moving away from the group.

“What about Moist Lovers,” Derek says and has to duck around the corner to avoid getting hit by things.

*

As the party continues the gang floats throughout the house, The kitchen turned into a make your own pizza assembly line/ dance club and the common area set up for video games/dance club. Basically between Erica, Jackson, Meredith and Danny there is constant dancing.

Derek will blame the warmth in the room on the heat of the oven and the buzz from the beer, and not Braeden, who has an easygoing smile as she chats with the Lydia and Erica and makes her pizza. Not the way she keeps glancing over his way.

“Just don’t hurt her again.

Derek looks over and sees Jordan holding out a beer to him. “What?” he says but reaches over to accept the beer anyway.

Jordan sits down next to him and glances over his shoulder at Braeden now laughing as Ethan tries and fails to juggle some tomatoes.

“Don’t hurt her this time around,” He says and turns back to Derek. “ I know you two are back together.”

Derek’s about to protest that they were never together to begin with, but Jordan holds up a hand to stop him.

“I don’t need to know,” He says and smiles a little sadly as he peels the label off of his bottle of beer. “I’m just happy to see her happy.”

Derek looks over at Braeden as she leans her head against Erica’s shoulder. Her eyes drift to his and hold for a few seconds, smile growing just a bit wider, before she looks away. “Me too,” He says and takes a sip of his beer.

As the party dwindles down, Isaac, Meredith, and Aiden follow Lydia, Jackson, and Jordan back to their house for Party 2.0. Danny and Ethan disappeared hours ago, and Boyd and Erica took off soon after, which left Braeden and Derek to deal with the mess.

He doesn’t mind though, Braeden turns on some soothing music as they move around the kitchen, cleaning up beer bottles and paper plates.

They’re just over half way through cleaning when Derek’s buzz turns more into tiredness.  He’s about to leave the rest of the mess for the others, when the song changes and Braeden starts to hum along.

He turns to look at her and smiles as she hums, bobbing her head a little, and sweeps the trash into one corner. He leans on the counter and crosses his arm, oddly comforted by the scene. Inspired all of a sudden, he pushes away from the counter and walks over to her and pulls the broom out of her hands.

“What are you,” Braeden says but stops as Derek brings her hands to his shoulders and then puts his at her waist. He pulls her in close and closes his eyes as he starts to move with the beat of the slow, but steady music.

He can remember his Dad doing this, pulling his mom into a surprise dance, even when there was no music playing.

He remembers dancing with Kate once. She’d just laughed and pushed him away, telling him to stop being a weirdo.

But now, he opens his eyes when Braeden puts a hand on his cheek. He smiles and looks away, a bit embarrassed at the tears forming in his eyes. She pulls his face back towards her.

“I’ve been waiting all day to wrap my hands around your waist and kiss your face,” Braeden sings softly with the music and Derek leans in to kiss her.

It’s slow and sweet as they stop dancing. Derek slowly backs her up against the counter and lets his hand rest at her jaw as he tilts her head to deepen the kiss.

At some point they break apart to breathe and stare at each other as they pant, silently asking each other the same question.

This time Braeden leans in, capturing his lips. She slides her hand up his shirt and leans back, pulling his bottom lip slowly with her teeth.  All of the blood in Derek’s body rushes to his dick and he groans against her lips.

She pulls back, grinning and yanks at the hem of his shirt. Derek huffs out a laugh and pulls his shirt off tossing it somewhere behind him and bends down to lift her off the floor and onto the counter. He kisses her again as she wraps her legs around him, pulling him in closer. He grinds a little bit against her, and can’t help the smile that forms as she moans against his lips.

Her phone starts to ding with notifications, interrupting the music still playing in the background.

“Ignore it,” Derek says, in between kisses down her neck. He pulls back to pull her shirt.

“Yeah it can wait,” She says breathlessly and lifts her arms up as her shirt comes off.

Derek grins and kisses at her shoulder, pulling her bra strap with his teeth as she moves her hands to his jeans and starts to undo them. He kisses her again, fingers at the clasps of her bra, and her hand’s stroking him through his boxers when there’s heavy knocking on the door.

“What the—“ Derek says looking over his shoulder.

“Shit,” Braeden says and looks over at her phone. She pulls her hands out of his pants and pushes him away to jump down from the counter, running over to her phone that continues to ding, while the knocking goes on. “Oh shit,” Braeden says again.

Derek turns to go and answer the door and sees Ethan running out of his room, pulling up his pants, at the same time.

“Nice,” Derek says.

“You should talk,” Ethan says and points at him. Derek looks down and fixes himself before zipping up his pants.

“So let me just say that I thought they were joking,” Braeden says as she comes into the hallway pulling the whale shirt back on.

“What?” Derek asks as Ethan unlocks the door.

“Hey man! Is Derek here?” says a familiar voice. Derek freezes. Braeden mouths _I’m sorry_ as Ethan stands back to reveal several people on the porch.

“SURPRISE!” Scott and Stiles yell from the porch and run at him. He see’s a glimpse of Allison and Cora behind them before he’s tackled to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things about this chapter:
> 
> 1) I know that most college's let you pick your own schedules, but I have friends in certain programs at Uni who have their classes picked for them. Plus it works for my story.
> 
> 2) The scene with Derek and Braeden is a nod to a tumblr post I responded to a long time ago hereeee : http://teardropfires.tumblr.com/post/96659962253/braedensderek-draeden-slow-dancing-in-the
> 
> 3) This took foreverrrrrrr, and I'm so sorry. But we're looking at one more chapter (read maybe two idkimsorry). 
> 
> 4)Don't write sex scenes (or almost sex scenes) at work. It's super fucking awkward.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for hanging in there with me. Your support means the world to me.
> 
> As always please let me know your thoughts on the chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this fic for a while. 1) because it turned into a monster fic that spiraled out of my control. 2) I started this at the beginning of the season and I waited a little because I wanted to see more of Draeden's chemistry. 3) I spilled wine on my computer and lost a lot of it...
> 
> But! I'm sort of back now and I want to post it and hopefully get some feedback on it! Although I do have the story completely outlined, this is definitely still a WIP. Please tell me what you think. I'm hoping your comments will propel me to finish it. 
> 
> I really love this story and I hope you do too.


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